A small bump in the RCIA road

[Casilda]

I would suggest that you tell this teacher how he makes you feel. Is he a part of the RCIA class or is he just coming to help? That would make a big difference in how to approach this. But overall, the class is going to be a safe place to stand up for yourself and I would really suggest that you talk to him directly. Don’t use the priest to do it for you because that won’t help you as a person. Telling the smug person why this class is important to you and how he is making your learning more difficult would be great practice for telling people in the outside world why you believe in the Church. Just take a deep breath and lovingly confront him.

But then again, the poster who mentioned you should learn why that gets to you so much is also correct. To be Catholic I have seen, is to be part of a counter-culture group and you will be placed in the spotlight more and more often to defend your faith to people. If you get upset and have a hard time when someone laughs, you will REALLY have a bad time when an atheist takes you to task. Use this as a situation to make yourself stronger.

I am in an adult confirmation class, mostly lifelong Catholics who are needing one or more of their sacraments. A question came up that wasnt answered by the deacon satisfactorily…it went against what is taught in the catechism…and the class argued with the deacon. Lol. I love my classmates. I am sorry this teacher laughed at a valid question, if it were me and he did that again, I would stand and ask him why he finds an inquirer’s question worthy of a cheap laugh. I take my class seriously, and I would appreciate teachers doing the same.

 

[Pemberley6703]

I am so sorry to hear that happened to you, and as a member of an RCIA class myself, I think I would just like to say that to me it seems totally normal and natural that you would be sensitive to this. I think it can be easy to overlook the fact that folks in RCIA really are experiencing a big transition and times of intense discernment come with some added sensitivity and a looking for signs, rightly or wrongly. The parish secretary was out ill for awhile and my registration was lost several times and this reduced me absolutely to tears and a vain thought that maybe the Church was rejecting me. Yes, an over-reaching, but you just feel so raw sometimes as part of opening yourself up to something so new. By the next week I was over it but I also did resolve to always try to remember that when I am a visible part of the Church myself, and possibly the only part of the body of Christ someone is seeing at a given time. Opening yourself up and being vulnerable is a part of discerning your way into the Church and it is natural to be sensitive. Keep your chin up and, when you can, find a non-judgmental way to talk to the guy about what he might do differently next time.

 

[quiet52]

The “bumps” are part of the journey – they are opportunites to learn how to live the faith. RCIA is not just about learning information. It is about ongoing conversion in Christ by applying what is taught in every life situation. Another poster mentioned forgiveness. That may be what Jesus would like you to work on. Or on wearing armor of love. Go to Jesus in prayer about these “bumps”, and always thank Him!

 

[HereAndThere]

Hi OP, I just wanted to offer my sympathy and understanding about how you felt - something very similar happened to me when I was in RCIA!
We had gotten most of the way to Easter, and I realized though we had talked a lot about holy communion in the catechetical sense, no one had actually taught us, in detail, exactly what to do! I mean, I’m receiving Jesus for the first time, I surely want to be respectful, reverent, and doing things properly, right? So I asked some nuts-and-bolts questions of exactly how you approach, exactly how you hold you hands, if you say or do anything after receiving, etc. And the laughter started from the teachers. It was apparently a big joke, that I was the only freak obsessing over such details. I felt so embarrassed and just at the end of my rope, I started to cry. I had of course been attending Mass for some time by this point, but I usually sat far to the back, and knelt praying during holy communion, I never went up for a blessing. So I had never seen things close up. How was I supposed to know?
Also - what Pemberley6703 captured almost perfectly! Such a sensitive time of discernment.
It’s some years later now. I realize they were all volunteers, and surely had no idea how hard I’d take their laughter. I sometimes wonder if I have been sufficiently forgiving, as I still think about that experience from time to time.
The important thing is to stick with it and make it through RCIA. Jesus is waiting for you! I try to think of what he went through for me. Looking back, becoming Catholic was really hard. Perhaps harder than it should have been, because of the humans involved. But they are not the main point. Keep going, and keep seeking answers to all your questions. Welcome home!

 

[savedbygrace71]

It means to much to me to hear others with similar experiences. I can certainly imagine that having a question about how to physically take the Eucharist being laughed at would bring me to tears, HereandThere!! My goodness! I have not gotten that far yet and I don’t know how to do it either

And Pemberley, Raw is the word. I feel shaky and nervous about all of the changes, it is no small thing to become Catholic after a lifetime of being Protestant, especially with my upbringing and the parents who are proudly WASP…not supportive of my conversion. I don’t particularly care, but at the same time, it is removing the identity I grew up with and becoming someone new. I have to dig deep for courage.

I think I may be able to speak to him at some point. He is not an unpleasant person, not at all, I think he genuinely enjoys helping to teach the class, he just really is eager to demonstrate how much he knows. Or, maybe I am being too hard on him and his facial expressions and he just looks smug and he is really just smiling… I have class tonight and I’ll try to go with a fresh start and not have a hard heart about any of it.

Thank you all!

 

[Kal2012]

I’m a convert too…try to be understanding,

Sometimes people who have been Catholic for many years or all of there life forget “we” don’t have that wonderful knowledge they grew up with. Some things might sound silly to them but to us they are real serious questions. try to not take it to seriously…although get your questions answered… You can always come here to the forum with questions.

By the way…Welcome HOME!!

Also, sometimes, just because someone’s a teacher doesn’t mean that they are good teachers on all subjects. Teaching High School is a lot different than teaching adults, regardless of topic.

Every kid and parent knows who the good and bad teachers are in their school.

Like others have said, Welcome Home.

 

[Convert2013]

I won’t repeat anything previously said, except Welcome Home!! It is a interesting journey and has many turns and twists in the road but now you’re on the straight away and heading toward The Truth!

Please have the confidence to know that someone else had that same question or would have at some point and didn’t ask. Because of you they now know! In the future, don’t allow anyone the power to treat you like that. I was also treated like I was stupid growing up and decided to not allow that to happen any longer. I had a similar situation happen to me. I handled it by taking that power away from him. My response “I apologize if you thought that was a joke question, but it wasn’t. Please explain to us why you’re laughing. Jesus is leading me to him and you just stepped in and laughed in my face. I’ll pray for you”. As you can imagine that laughter stopped immediately. I wasn’t rude or angry, but instead very calm and polite. I received and apology later and I forgave him. We are now friends! He didn’t realize he came across that way. But at least I got an explanation and others recognized that it was not something a person should be subjected to.

God Bless you on your journey!! Please let us know how things go this evening if you speak with him. You’re in the right place!

 

[Captain_America]

OP: It sounds like the guy’s a bit full of himself. So it goes. Let me tell you, there are plenty of people—particularly educated, knowledgeable people—who get this way.

The BIGGEST “bump” I ever got in my spiritual life was the crotchety old mean priest that our parish had when I was a teenager—this really turned me off from religion—for many years.

Human flesh; not the greatest stuff to use, but that’s Christ’s pick. This guy you have to deal with sounds like a pill. But don’t let it be an irritant.

 

[InLight247]

savedbygrace,

Your post remind me of an old memory. It was my first day of the grade school. I lived in a small village. I remember all the parents were standing around the class room watching their kids for the first day of school. The teacher explained something and asked if we all understood. Everyone was quiet but I raised my hand and said that I did not quite understand. All the students, especially parents laughed. This incident was buried in my memory until I read your post.

I try to recall my feeling way back then. With all the laughing, I remember no feeling of embarrassment but a feeling of “doing the right thing” - that I was honest, and I truly wanted to understand what the teacher taught. I guess as a innocent little child, I did not take myself or others seriously.

That school teacher probably did not mean to make you feel bad on purpose but rather being insensitive. Don’t allow his mindlessness to affect you. You were right to ask the question.

Welcome to RCIA and to the Church. God bless!