A soft approach to ending abortion

[losh14]

I had my wicked idea about fighting abortion pop up again, and I shook it aside and another, gentler one floated in. It may have been tried, but what if …

What if we sent letters, personally, to abortion workers at their workplace, telling them how much we love children, and how much concern we have for their clients. Clients who come to abortion out of poverty, or out of abuse, or out of fear, and clients who, leaving the clinic, remain poor, abused and afraid.

What if we included photos of our children, from ultrasound to birth to birthdays, and talked of how much we loved them and either how fortunate we are to not be in a position of poverty or fear, or how we had considered abortion and are glad we decided against it.

What if we included our phone numbers, and asked them if there were a patient who needed help to call us.

I know this is softy and bleeding-heart-liberal stuff like my Ice Cream Ministry idea for the WBC, but I truly marvel at the power of love to shape a human heart and wonder what good it truly could do if we but tried.

They could sue us for harassment, sure - they could sue us for existing and I think NARAL and others have done so. It wouldn’t stand in court provided we remained gentle and open in the letters.

They could ignore the letters - someone still has to read them. Maybe that’d be one employee who would quit. Maybe it’d be someone vital and the office would have to close for the day.

Maybe we’d foment a rebellion in the clinic or even turn the heart of a doctor from murder to truly helping these women.

It’s just a thought. Shoot it down if you like, but my letter this week to Planned Parenthood would be a lot less lonely if it had some kin with it.

 

[presidentjlh]

I think this is a good thing. It is not being “bleeding-heart liberal” it is trying to get people to follow their good conscience and stop aiding abortion not out of fear, but out of love.

 

[flyingfish]

I think sending personal letters to employees of abortion clinics would make them feel like they were being stalked and threatened and if they had an anxious disposition scared that someone would be waiting around the corner to kill them for participating in abortions.

Why not put that effort into making an organization that financially helps women considering abortion?

 

[Hereswith]

I’m with FlyingFish. Harrassment is harrassment, no matter how “soft” you make it. And it ain’t Christian.

When you mention all that concern you have for their clients, it isn’t enough. Are you so concerned that you will arrange a new adoption agency? That you will set up a new home for unwed mothers to go for retreat? That you will provide financial assistance for raising unwanted children?

I am not condoning abortion. I am saying that it is not a simple question. Until we can address the needs of these women realistically, and with real Christian compassion, not condemnation, we cannot end abortion!

I worked for a dozen years with rape victims. I have very little understanding of approaches such as the ones you talk about. You seem so eager to use deception to accomplish your goals. They seem very cruel, totally lacking in understanding. A real, compassionate “soft” approach to ending abortion would be to offer women who feel they are trapped, real hope and realistic options other than abortion. We have not, as a society, learned to do that. So abortion continues.

 

[vera_dicere]

How about going after the pro-abortion politicans? If you sent it to their offices, and did not include anything that could be construde as a threat, you couldnt’ be done for any stalking/threatening behaviour.

Kind of like in the Shawshank Redemption.

But yeah, it’d be a lot of effort for somethign that’d probably just waste money and end up in the trash.

 

[losh14]

I think sending personal letters to employees of abortion clinics would make them feel like they were being stalked and threatened and if they had an anxious disposition scared that someone would be waiting around the corner to kill them for participating in abortions.

You may be right. I also think that abortion clinic workers are probably already on edge given that they have to walk through a line of protestors many days. If the letters make them feel anxious enough to be dissatisfied with their job - or upset enough with the morality of it - let them quit and find work in a medical clinic that helps people.

Why not put that effort into making an organization that financially helps women considering abortion?

That’s a great start, and here’s one place:

www.ourladysinn.org

The appeal of writing abortion workers is we might reach women who are scared and never know about their other options. In Missouri there’s a substantial resistence by pro-choice groups to maternity homes even advertising their services. It surprises me because I thought the one common point of pro-life and pro-choice is that women should be helped. It’s almost as though pro-choicers want abortions to happen, not just access to the option.

 

[losh14]

I’m with FlyingFish. Harrassment is harrassment, no matter how “soft” you make it. And it ain’t Christian.

And murder is murder.

When you mention all that concern you have for their clients, it isn’t enough. Are you so concerned that you will arrange a new adoption agency?

I’d support the ones we have. And let these women know what help is available.

That you will set up a new home for unwed mothers to go for retreat?

I help support, financially, the charity listed above. If I had the means I’d give more.

That you will provide financial assistance for raising unwanted children?

My wife and I would be willing to adopt one ourselves.

I am not condoning abortion. I am saying that it is not a simple question. Until we can address the needs of these women realistically, and with real Christian compassion, not condemnation, we cannot end abortion!

Why is it that abortion clinic workers don’t truly counsel these women and tell them: here are your options - here are the homes, here are the agencies, here are the charities to get you out of your situation that makes you want to end your child’s life?

I worked for a dozen years with rape victims. I have very little understanding of approaches such as the ones you talk about. You seem so eager to use deception to accomplish your goals.

I take personal offense to such a claim. Deception? My intent is clear, friend, and I make no pretenses about it.

They seem very cruel, totally lacking in understanding.

I understand that these women remain victims because the clinics give them a solution to the symptom of their problems - the poverty, the abuse, the crime, whatever they suffered that leads them to this tragic choice. They enter poor, or raped, or abused, or afraid, and pregnant. They leave poor, raped, abused, afraid, just no longer pregnant.

A real, compassionate “soft” approach to ending abortion would be to offer women who feel they are trapped, real hope and realistic options other than abortion.

Are they given these options at the clinic door? Does someone sit down with them and say “Here is who can help you?” Would the Planned Parenthood on Forest Park Ave. allow Our Lady’s Inn to put pamphlets or a poster or even a case worker in there to listen and be sympathetic and say “We can take you in, get you out of your situation, help you raise your child or find a loving home for him or her.”? That is what I want. That is understanding. That is love tangible.

 

[DysonSphere]

Why not put that effort into making an organization that financially helps women considering abortion?

I agree.

The OP’s idea is interesting, though, and there may be a less questionable way to make it work.

 

[losh14]

How about going after the pro-abortion politicans? If you sent it to their offices, and did not include anything that could be construde as a threat, you couldnt’ be done for any stalking/threatening behaviour.

If a politician thinks that letters from their constituents are harassment, they deserve to be voted out of office. Their purpose is to listen and reflect, not ignore.

But it needs to be double-edged: condemn the pro-abortion stance, welcome and praise the pro-life stance especially where it is difficult or the politician goes against his or her party.

But yeah, it’d be a lot of effort for somethign that’d probably just waste money and end up in the trash.

The danger in thinking like this is if it we gain a collective mood of futility we lose trust in the process and that’s when we see things like abortion doctors getting shot and packages of white powder getting mailed to Congress. We have to believe that action can make a difference.

It is also imperative to not let futility overcome us personally, otherwise we are defeated. To persevere in doing what we believe is right, regardless of the outcome, is a Christian ethic. We may not move one single heart but we must at least try. Otherwise we are defeated.

 

[losh14]

I’m with FlyingFish. Harrassment is harrassment, no matter how “soft” you make it. And it ain’t Christian.
…
I am not condoning abortion. I am saying that it is not a simple question. Until we can address the needs of these women realistically, and with real Christian compassion, not condemnation, we cannot end abortion!

Kindly, is there another way to have information available to women who are, by definition, in a crisis? One that does not harass, harangue, or otherwise disturb clinic workers but still makes help available to those who don’t know it’s there?

 

[DysonSphere]

losh14,

I think you have a good basic idea here. I think it would be more effective, and less morally questionable, to streamline a couple general stories, including pictures of children (etc.), and mail them to all doctors and nurses in a particular area (to test it), encouraging them to consider their view on abortion.

I get letters like this all the time from many political parties and causes, and don’t qualify them as harassment. I would be more uncomfortable about a personal letter from a family including pictures of their children telling me to find a new line of work; I would not respond to that letter except to possibly contact the law about it, no matter how friendly it was.

If the letters come from an organization, are stream-lined and professional, and have one or two good stories to go with them, harassment would, at least from my perspective, no longer be an issue. To be fair, however, I rarely pay attention to letters of this sort, but sometimes I do, and though they aren’t by themselves sufficient to change my mind, they have in the past opened doors to new possibilities.

 

[Cristiano]

…I am not condoning abortion. I am saying that it is not a simple question. Until we can address the needs of these women realistically, and with real Christian compassion, not condemnation, we cannot end abortion! …

I think that in most of the cases the argument of “needs” is a bogus statement. I firmly believe that in most of the cases in this country women choose to have sex and use abortion as a form of birth control. I think that the idea of the poor woman out in the streets looking for an abortion because she cannot take care of her children does not happen as often as people would like us to believe it. Those cases must be treated with compassion because those women are in a deep moral struggle. However, the other scenarios must be treated in a firm manner because they are the result of the selfishness of human beings.

 

[DysonSphere]

I am not condoning abortion. I am saying that it is not a simple question. Until we can address the needs of these women realistically, and with real Christian compassion, not condemnation, we cannot end abortion!

I agree; it is a very complex question, riddled with uncertainty.

The best general approach seems to me to be a grassroots movement that leads slowly to more strictures on abortion and ultimately the legal abolition of the practice. At the same time, social pressures that encourage abortion must be addressed, such as the disparity between the rich and the poor, lessening the environmental impact humans have, and supporting a universal health care, especially for pregnant women. There are many other issues, such as addressing domestic abuse, that also should be considered, but this suggested approach is effectively two-pronged:

Make abortion illegal and support pregnant women with progressive social measures.

 

[losh14]

I think it would be more effective, and less morally questionable, to streamline a couple general stories, including pictures of children (etc.), and mail them to all doctors and nurses in a particular area (to test it), encouraging them to consider their view on abortion.

I think that’s a good thought. Thank you for it. There’s probably the aspect of overwhelming letters that could be miscontrued and should be avoided as well.

 

[losh14]

I think that the idea of the poor woman out in the streets looking for an abortion because she cannot take care of her children does not happen as often as people would like us to believe it.

I’d agree, but I also think this is the image that supporters of abortion tend to cling to, especially in political rhetoric. I’m sure there are a portion of women, perhaps a substantial portion, who are reflected by this view. Likewise there are women who are victimized by sexual crimes and seek abortion. But you are right that there are women for whom abortion is the choice method of birth control.

Those cases must be treated with compassion because those women are in a deep moral struggle. However, the other scenarios must be treated in a firm manner because they are the result of the selfishness of human beings.

Therein lies the rub. On a legal standpoint, the way abortion has been treated it’s considered a human right and is to be given upon demand without barrier. This makes more sense if we consider cases of hardship and victimization where the intent is to protect the privacy of women who’ve suffered much and wish to move on. While I’d rather they’d be given access to police protection, crime reporting and social services, I understand the feeling of invasion and embarassment may be overwhelming enough that a woman would not wish to add further humiliation to her injury. I can respect at least the intent of such a policy though I lament gravely the resulting abortions.

What makes much less sense is when we look at cases where men and women could have taken precaution and did not. I can at least find common ground with the oft-repeated Democratic mantra that abortion should be safe, legal and rare. I like the last part most of all and whatever efforts we can take to encourage women to choose life would make the world a better place. I wish we could tell such people to accept the consequences of their actions.

But it seems resolutely dangerous when we look at examples such as those of minors ho obtain abortions without parental or other notification. If the reasoning is that these girls need to be protected from an abusive male in the home who impregnated her, then doesn’t law enforcement have an interest in stopping the abuse? Schools have to report abuse if it’s noticed, why shouldn’t clinics? If the reasoning is that the girl will face retaliation for an abortion, should not her presence in an abusive home be reported to social services?

Such reasoning also unfairly assumes that girls will face retaliation in their homes - I’d imagine every mother and father would be upset but they cannot effectively help their daughter if they don’t know the burdens she’s facing. Is it really better, on the whole, for a girl’s struggles to be hidden from her parents if no one else is able to step in and help her?

In any event, a 13-year-old’s pregnancy should be cause for concern on face value. It is (or at least should be) considered a crime anywhere for a man to have sex with a girl so young. If the man is older than 16 in Missouri, it’s statutory rape. Is there any means for a girl who is victimized by an older man to get help and get out of the situation of abuse?

It’s shocking to hear of rapists posing as a parental figure and getting their underage victims abortions, destroying evidence of their crime and scarring an already battered victim further, yet that is precisely what happens in the status quo.

ksdk.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=189523
ksdk.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=165507
nytimes.com/2010/03/20/us/20miami.html

If a 12-year-old rape victim had someone to talk to at the clinic, could she be spared further abuse? Could she be rescued from a dangerous home? Might she be willing to give the baby an couple who are unable to conceive? Likewise, if a 35-year-old woman in poverty knew the help available for her, would she be willing to give her child into a home that is ready for one?

 

[Hereswith]

Losh14 - I’m sorry, I did not mean to offend you and I obviously have. I humbly apologize. Some of your statements in your original post sounded heartless and deception-oriented to me, but perhaps that was in my reading of it, not in your intention. I’m sorry. This is an emotional issue for many of us.

I did want to add something though to your statement:

Why is it that abortion clinic workers don’t truly counsel these women and tell them: here are your options - here are the homes, here are the agencies, here are the charities to get you out of your situation that makes you want to end your child’s life?

I would agree that some clinics don’t provide enough resources, and I think they should have to by law. But the ones I have come into contact with (in the course of working with rape victims) do a good job of that. Yes, they do try to introduce options other than abortion to the client - particularly when they are a non-profit clinic, as is Planned Parenthood. Specifically, in my experience, they counsel the client that any form of surgery is a risk. They ask her if she has thought about options like adoption, etc. It’s a bit of a myth that they somehow keep such info from clients - again, in my experience, it just isn’t true.

Peace.

 

[lynx]

If you want an end to abortion set up clinics where women can go to get:

1. The emotional and physical comfort they need
   a) Maid, therapy and companionship services
   b) Rides to and from general stores and hospital as needed with attendee
2. The financial support they need
   a) Hospital bills during and after pregnancy (related only to the pregnancy)
   b) Food, clothing, transportation and any other bills arising from the pregnancy

Make it so that child is not a burden and abortion goes away. I doubt anything like this will ever happen though.

 

[DysonSphere]

I am more optimistic. I think this, along with increasing legal sanctions for abortions, will both help reduce their number, and also will encourage progress into a more morally enlightened age.

It would be unacceptable if, in this age and in this country, slavery were safe, legal, and rare. Slavery should be and is illegal. Even this alone has not been enough to get rid of slavery. More must be done, both socially and legally, in the US and in the rest of the world.

There is a certain sense in which, when there is lacking a law against something, it appears as though the state is supporting that thing.

What you describe, though, is a necessary (and, sadly, often neglected) component in the fight for life.

If you want an end to abortion set up clinics where women can go to get:

1. The emotional and physical comfort they need
   a) Maid, therapy and companionship services
   b) Rides to and from general stores and hospital as needed with attendee
2. The financial support they need
   a) Hospital bills during and after pregnancy (related only to the pregnancy)
   b) Food, clothing, transportation and any other bills arising from the pregnancy

Make it so that child is not a burden and abortion goes away. I doubt anything like this will ever happen though.

 

[lynx]

I am more optimistic. I think this, along with increasing legal sanctions for abortions, will both help reduce their number, and also will encourage progress into a more morally enlightened age.

Legal sanctions will lead to back alley abortions or self performed abortions.

What you describe, though, is a necessary (and, sadly, often neglected) component in the fight for life.

That’s how I feel about it. I doubt any religion would ever set something like that up though. It would mean such a large investment in time and money that no one would be charitable enough to do it.

So, do you want to know what the cost of a fetus is worth?
lynx;:

1. The emotional and physical comfort they need
   a) Maid, therapy and companionship services
   b) Rides to and from general stores and hospital as needed with attendee
2. The financial support they need
   a) Hospital bills during and after pregnancy (related only to the pregnancy)
   b) Food, clothing, transportation and any other bills arising from the pregnancy

Nice handle btw.

 

[DysonSphere]

Legal sanctions will lead to back alley abortions or self performed abortions.

Just like existing legal sanctions have lead to underground slavery and human trafficking. Slavery would likely be safer if it were legalized.

Nice handle btw.

Thanks