A spiritual 180

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I experienced something very weird in the last couple of weeks, and I’m not sure what to do with it.

The weeks leading up to Easter and Divine Mercy sunday were very good and spiritual for me. I got really into Holy Week, lots of prayer. I did the novena for dm and went to a special prayer service on DM Sunday. Went to confession, mass, and spent many hours in church for that day. And it was a very good, spiritual experience. It was a very good couple of weeks.

Quite literally the next day, a week ago Monday, and lasting the whole week I had a 180 degree turn spiritually. I couldn’t pray, I didn’t want anything to do with the church, or God, or anything. I was very angry and upset and I just couldn’t do anything with my faith. It was like night and day, and it was very upsetting. Even today I don’t feel altogether back to ‘normal’. It was like a backlash in contrast to the wonderful 2 weeks prior.

And the thing that bothered me was that I didn’t want to have that. But I couldn’t bring myself to do anything to change it. I went to mass on Sunday, and things are kinda turning around today. But I can’t explain what happened, or why. I’ve had dry times where I wasn’t as zealous about my faith, or excited to talk/learn/pray about God. But I’ve never experienced something like that. It wasn’t doubts or dryness, it was literally a 180 from the peace and grace I felt after Divine Mercy Sunday.

Any thoughts?
 
Keep praying – particularly the Rosary. Every day. Praying when we don’t feel like it is how we get to feel like praying.

Sometimes, when on spiritual highs – to use a baseball analogy, ripping fastballs over the fence with ease – we get thrown a tough curveball. I believe that this is served up to us for us to see what we are really made of at this point spiritually, because it’s all-too-easy to collapse when the going suddenly gets rough. What separates the men from the boys – or the pros from those who keep playing only so long as they’re winning – is courage and perseverance in the face of the storm. We are called to weather it.

I’ve been reading a book from the 1950s about the Dominican Third Order, or the Dominican Tertiaries – specifically what it takes to become one. The author is challenging; a no-nonsense, old-school kind of priest. He says that these men and women are trained to be “tough as nails” spiritually, in an almost militaristic way. I find that to be inspiring.
 
I had gone through almost exact same thing as you did right on the Holy Friday. I knew it was something coming down on me. Though I was struggling, I prayed, prayed and prayed and especially asked Virgin Mary to guide me. I knew I would not let myself out of control. I knew I should not let Satan win over me. I knew I needed to ask Virgin Mary to help me not to lose this Holy Week spirit.

At the end of the day, before going to mass, I had peace again. Thanks to the awesome love of the Blessed Virgin Mary. It was a tough day for me and a flashback of the same thing happening last Christmas - which I completely lost control of myself over little things. Things should have not bothered me, but it did. 😦

Through this experience, I’ve learned to hang on to the Blessed Virgin Mary even more. She was the One who always found Jesus; She will always be the One who helps me find Jesus too.

I am in the middle of the book “The Reed of God” and it is currently mentioning about this experience. It is a good book.
 
water said:
I had gone through almost exact same thing as you did right on the Holy Friday. I knew it was something coming down on me. Though I was struggling, I prayed, prayed and prayed and especially asked Virgin Mary to guide me. I knew I would not let myself out of control. I knew I should not let Satan win over me. I knew I needed to ask Virgin Mary to help me not to lose this Holy Week spirit.

At the end of the day, before going to mass, I had peace again. Thanks to the awesome love of the Blessed Virgin Mary. It was a tough day for me and a flashback of the same thing happening last Christmas - which I completely lost control of myself over little things. Things should have not bothered me, but it did. 😦

Through this experience, I’ve learned to hang on to the Blessed Virgin Mary even more. She was the One who always found Jesus; She will always be the One who helps me find Jesus too.

I am in the middle of the book “The Reed of God” and it is currently mentioning about this experience. It is a good book.
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Do they have a name or term for it?

For me it was very ugly, and I knew something was wrong, but I couldn’t do anything to pull myself out. I just kept telling God all week that I was sorry for whatever was keeping me from Him, and asking for grace to pull through it.

I think going to mass sunday really helped.

I’ve had dry times before, but nothing like this. I hope I never have this issue again.
 
The author of the book writes "something for which there are no words but which ages of men have called, for a name’s shake, ‘dryness’ or ‘aridity of the soul’ ".

If you are upset and angry over things, you might need to pray more about this to ask for the graces that are opposite of them …which are: patience, gentle, self-control, etc …

This topic is new to me, and I cannot give more deeper thought than what I have been given the knowledge to understand so far.

I haven’t read this book “Dark Night of the Soul” but you might want to check this out. I hope the book will be for me to read soon, but not at this time.

See part 5 of page 36:
books.google.com/books?id=CTUSKBI-C8cC&pg=PA36&lpg=PA36&dq=aridity+of+the+soul&source=web&ots=NCwA5Zru_U&sig=L4BiO5OKsd_IWL-WnJCwpBAu0Fk&hl=en
 
Continue to persevere. The Christian life is full of mountains and valleys. Keep on praying and you will find peace even when times are hard.

God Bless,
Matt
 
Dry times served to show me that the “undry” times are truly a gift from God. When it’s dry, no amount of desire, willing, praying on my part can make it go away. It is a lesson in humility for any who perhaps think their spiritual confidence and joy is a result of their efforts. I learned that not only the joys and interest in praying are gifts, but even my belief in Jesus and His Church are gifts.

Nita
 
This was much more than dry times. This was something ugly and dark. Like I said, I’ve had dry times before. This was much worse, something that came over me and I couldn’t shake.
 
Could you recognize what it was that really made you upset that day though?
 
water said:
Could you recognize what it was that really made you upset that day though?
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No. I was just angry in general. Which is why it was alarming to me, because I have really been able to conquer my anger and negativity and darkness because of my faith in the past few months. I’ve been very good about not dwelling on things and just offering it up, and focusing on the "Jesus I trust in You’ message of Divine Mercy. I had a couple of very bad health problems in March which I refused to worry about and had told God that I trusted in what He had given me and would endure and accept His will. Then I had a really great two weeks before and after Easter, very spiritual. Then blam! This was dark, darker than I had been to for a long time, even before my reversion.

I feel silly saying or thinking about it, but I think it was an attack by demonic forces. Or at least something sinister. Mabye in response to my devotions during easter? I dunno. But it did scare and upset me.
 
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