A spiritual life in debt

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Lou_F

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I have been feeling terrible lately and I would like your (name removed by moderator)ut. I feel as if I have been in spiritual debt and that is why I have been miserable. I often try to sacrifice more of myself than my limitations allow. In other words, I try to give more of myself than I actually have or can actually handle. I think this leads to my downfall everytime. I get real hard on myself when I don’t accomplish what I set out to do. I feel robbed of joy. I often try to die to self too much. Instead of being content with progress, I get down over my “personal” failures - even if they are not sinful in themselves. What good is it if I sacrifice in debt all the time and am melencholy or angry when I can sacrifice less, not be in debt spiriually, and have more joy (provided what I’m doing is not a sin)?
 
Dear soul, it sounds to me like you need to read these

Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous

and take them to heart.

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm

I read them today, and have found them VERY elightening and helpful.
You know, I used to be very scrupulous according to those 10 commandments you provided. Now I am not. However, instead of being scrupulous over doing or thinking something is sinful, I think I may have become scrupulous in another way.

Instead of an obsessive compulsive disorder regarding sin, I think I have become scrupulous when it comes to opportunities to grow in grace and in prayer on behalf of others. I don’t repeat prayers or anything like that, but I say very many everyday because I feel like I am wasting an opportunity to help others if I don’t. I feel a lot of guilt if I were to pray less.

Especially with the elections on the way, I don’t want to pray less. If I pray less (not stop) and anything bad happens, I will blame myself for not doing more. How do I make good things happen yet respect my limitations so I do not lose out on the extra joy I can give to my family, friends and self? I have an obsession with trying to help others grow in grace, and I’m starting to wonder if where I’m being helpful in one way, I’m being detrimental another way.

Please provide more insight, and thank you.
 
Remember that we are all dust, and anything good we do is by the grace of God. Jesus wants to “fill us with joy to the fullest.”

He delights in the thanks and praise we give him. Be confident that the Lord hears your prayers; we don’t have to be intense about them. All we need do is our best, and offer everything up with love to God. He delights in our confidence in Him.
 
Through His “Apostle of Divine Mercy”, St. Faustina… in this age, Our Lord Jesus has given us a great hope, Lou. His Mercy. The devotion to the Divine Mercy message… seems quite simple to me. There are two components…

1.) Trust in Our Lord’s Mercy for us, sinners…

2.) Go into the world, and SHOW mercy to our brothers and sisters. LIVE Our Lord’s mercy… for others.

And it’s good to add the Chaplet of Divine Mercy to our daily prayers. In her “Diary”… Jesus revealed to St. Faustina that it hurts Him greatly, when souls do not trust in His Mercy. I think this is a good start for a scrupulous soul (been there! still there, on occasions!) God bless. 🙂
 
I can relate especially to what you say about feeling guilty if you don’t use every opportunity to help others.

A priest I have often gone to confession with has more than once said to me: “You can’t do EVERY good deed that is out there”. or something like that.
If you don’t take care of yourself too (also spiritually! Also giving yourself rest and down time!), you are likely to burn out of energy to help (and pray for) others as well.

I kind of “feel” sometimes that I want to do something (like light a candle) out of compulsion (because I’d feel guilty otherwise) and I often struggle with things like that. I try to do things that i feel I will do out of love, not out of some compulsion.

There is only so much everybody can do.

How much? of course would be a good question, right, and it is something I have struggled with often. Let’s say I have a day off and I think to myself, I should go visit that old lady I know. But really i feel I need a day off because I am close to burning out from doing a lot. Then I have to ask myself: Am I going to do that old lady a favor if I show up there all stressed out? Wouldn’t it be better to rest and wait and then go there when I really WANT to go there? (out of love, not because I’d feel guilty otherwise.)

It’s a very tender issue. A fine line, differentiating between the real need for rest and just “laziness”. Difficult at times. And it is good that there are people who WANT to do good works! but we have to make sure we don’t burn out.😉

(But with God’s help, and through prayer, we can find our way. To do the most good out of love.)

Kathrin
 
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