A Stupid Question

[ZDHayden]

Hi. I am 19 and attending my first semester of college this fall. I have long desired to be a minister – not a musical minister or things like that. I am planning on receiving training to become a Eucharistic Minister this fall in addition to my classes. I perceived at one time this desire – this call if you will, to be a call to the priesthood. However, I have recently (a year ago) met a young woman a year my younger who I might like marrying (we have gradually built our relationship up from friendship and other than frequent hugging and infrequent kissing, we don’t do anything that a “normal” couple in this day and age would do). I have read that deacons are ministers of service and teaching and are permitted to be married. However, my source states that for a married man to become a deacon, he must be at least 35 years (usccb.org/deacon/faqs.shtml). I understand that is for a maturity reason, and have no problem with that. My question is: given my perceived call to ministry AND marriage, should I look into the diaconate? I ask, not because I cannot make my own decision, but because I know myself well enough to know that I probably will mess up without advice from wiser persons. Thank you.

 

[JohnDamian]

Hi. I am 19 and attending my first semester of college this fall. I have long desired to be a minister – not a musical minister or things like that. I am planning on receiving training to become a Eucharistic Minister this fall in addition to my classes. I perceived at one time this desire – this call if you will, to be a call to the priesthood. However, I have recently (a year ago) met a young woman a year my younger who I might like marrying (we have gradually built our relationship up from friendship and other than frequent hugging and infrequent kissing, we don’t do anything that a “normal” couple in this day and age would do). I have read that deacons are ministers of service and teaching and are permitted to be married. However, my source states that for a married man to become a deacon, he must be at least 35 years (usccb.org/deacon/faqs.shtml). I understand that is for a maturity reason, and have no problem with that. My question is: given my perceived call to ministry AND marriage, should I look into the diaconate? I ask, not because I cannot make my own decision, but because I know myself well enough to know that I probably will mess up without advice from wiser persons. Thank you.

Hello; ZDHayden.

The only stupid question is the one that isn’t asked - no one will look down on you or laugh at you for trying to find out more about the faith.

Firstly; a Deacon is a permenant office that a male may enter into at the age of 25 if single; or at the age of 35 if married. You can also try and obtain a dispensation from your Local Bishop to reduce these ages slightly.

A Deacon cannot marry or re-marry once he is ordained. So if you want to be a married Deacon you must wait until you are 35; or get a dispensation (usually no more than a year). If your wife dies; you will not be allowed to remarry.

A Permenant Deacon is an office that is distinct from a Priest; it is not a “mini-Priest” it is a seperate clerical office and they are members of the ordained Clergy. Deacons lead prayers; read the scriptures; they can preside at Baptisms, weddings and funerals where no mass is given - Deacons are also called to help the needy.

If someone wishes to become a Deacon it is usually advisable that the individual has beforehand been both an Acolyte and a Lector; being a Cantor or some other service to the Church would also be very useful.

Deacons usually undertake a period of study; married Deacons generally are able to do this from a distance.

It might benefit you to talk this over with your Priest; he would be able to put you in touch with a Vocations director so you can discuss numerous different options and paths.

 

[Stjudeprayforus]

If you decide to become a deacon, God Bless YOU!

I went through RCIA in a new city where I didnt know anyone… The deacon and his wife were a blessing to me. They sat beside me in class… took walks with me just to talk about the faith.

What a gift from God our deacons are.

God bless you on your journey!

 

[Milesius]

There is no harm in looking.