A third opinion regarding vocations

[bjnartowt]

Hi all, I’m really confused, and would like an outside opinion.

I just started grad school in theoretical physics. I’m also, of course, trying to figure out my vocation. My only clue is a tremendous desire for children.

I’m not sure if that’s something I am to sacrifice to God (i.e., priesthood), or pursue (married life).

Something else that is catalyzing my confusion: I do not have spiritual or emotional support from my family. Initially: I am hesitant to pursue the priesthood because I might isolate myself. However, then again: I am hesitant to pursue the married life, because of what issues I may bring into my family (despite standing on ready-haunches to girt myself against what ways I may inadvertently-hurt someone with, based on the compelling habits I (or anyone) was brought up with).

I’m about 26 years old, and many of my friends are now married. This makes me say to myself: “Maybe you missed out on something God’s trying to tell you: enter a religious order!”

I pray the Rosary daily, attend Mass daily, and beg God for clarity. I sometimes wonder if God is telling me to just pursue grad school. However: I can’t help but feel like my stubbornness and strong personality are things that keep me too-immature for a vocation. I keep feeling like I need to be strong enough for a vocation to happen in my life. Okay…now we’re going stream-of-consciousness, because it’s 2 AM when I’m writing this.

Whatever immediately pops into your mind in response to this is welcome…

 

[bpbasilphx]

I would say that the best thing right now is to work on your degree.

Then you will be:

1. Better prepared to support your family if you marry–or yourself if you don’t.
2. Have something worth having to bring to a vocation.

 

[skallal]

Hey BJ,

Part of the time that most people call discernment is really a time of growth. I would really recommend bringing daily meditation into your typical prayer routine, even if it means sacrificing something else because Teresa of Avila says,

“It’s possible to go to Mass every day and remain in mortal sin. It’s not possible to meditate every day and remain in mortal sin. Either you’ll stop sinning or you’ll stop praying.”

When you **start using one of the methods of daily meditation **offered by Teresa of Avila, Ignatius of Loyola, or St. Francis de Sales is what is going to transform you by calling you to put your prayer into practice every day with a concrete resolution, a way to grow in virtue. This intimacy with God and growth in virtue (aka becoming more and more like Christ) is the rock on which any discernment and vocation is built. I’ll be praying for you. God bless!

 

[plato3]

Ever considered entering a lay order to start off with. Our local Franciscans have already had a nun and 2 priests and a deacon among our members who went on to these vocations.

 

[Tezza]

Do you have a spiritual director?

 

[psalm139a]

This makes me say to myself: “Maybe you missed out on something God’s trying to tell you: enter a religious order!”

I don’t think this is a good reason to join an order. The fact that you’re in your mid-twenties and still single does not mean you have a religious vocation. It also doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you; it can be hard to find a good spouse.

As a bit of encouragement, I’ll mention that Maria Shriver (wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and a successful, attractive woman) thought something was wrong with her because she didn’t get married until she was 30, but she later realized that that was crazy and her time would’ve been spent enjoying her 20s instead of sweating her hands worrying whether she’d end up single.

If you want kids and feel called to marriage, you should trust that God will send an appropriate person your way. That doesn’t mean you should sit back and do nothing, but there’s no need to feel panicked about your life direction.

On the other hand, if you sincerely feel a call to a religious vocation, or are even just feeling truly suspicious that you might, don’t hesitate to look into it (easier said than done, I know from firsthand experience!). If you are not called to it, God will let you know.

In the meantime, keep praying, read up about religious life (there are TONS of helpful websites), and go to Eucharistic Adoration if you can. Best of luck.

 

[psalm139a]

I can’t help but feel like my stubbornness and strong personality are things that keep me too-immature for a vocation.

I also wanted to offer you some encouragement and say… You are not alone!! I very often feel the same way. In fact, I am notoriously stubborn. I read somewhere that of the three vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, the hardest one to keep is obedience. (I’m not sure if diocesan priests take the same vows, but you get the idea)

Look at it this way- the harder it is to give up your own will, the more of a sacrifice it will be when you do so. If it were easy, it wouldn’t be much of a sacrifice.

And it can be good to be a priest with a strong personality. They seem to give better sermons. And are less likely to be intimidated by people who don’t want to hear the truth. Take Fr. Corapi (of EWTN fame) for instance. Very forceful personality, and an EXCELLENT priest.

 

[garyr]

. . .
I’m not sure if that’s something I am to sacrifice to God (i.e., priesthood), or pursue (married life).
. . …

We are called to consecrate ourselves to Christ in BOTH vocations (priest or married/father).

Certainly continue to seek knowledge and guidance about the priesthood (holy orders) as already suggested here,
**BUT ALSO ** study up on what it means to live a ‘Consecrated Family Life’ as you will be the Spiritual Head of the Family and still called to holiness & certain sacrifices as well should you discern that as your calling.

By doing the above, you will certainly be less confused, and I think you will have a better understanding of what either path entails with respect to Gods Will for you!

Lemme know if you need links to Family Consecration documents.

YBIC,
-G

 

[eucharisteo]

Could be that deep in side you have a real vocation for marriage… However, you may also have a vocation to the diaconate. Only you will have to wait…like me…to truly dig deeper into that vocation. Either this or maybe you need to look into ministry that involves youth or children… assuming priests can be more involved. Another way of looking at this is that priests are fathers…spiritual it may be, but they are truly like real parents if they are worth salt. So maybe this is a sign for you to become a priest. God opens doors. If you feel called, then the only way to know is to enter the seminary and stop playing games with God. Or maybe it’s just not time yet. You have to get through something in your life apparently, else you’d be in formation already. That clear as mud now?

 

[eucharisteo]

Oh, the only way to clear the mud is to submerge in water… that is jump into it head first. God will open your eyes when you least expect it. My vocation came profoundly… priest, not, priest…maybe it’s deacon…the most definitly marriage…then priest… oh you mean deacon. Okay… here I am Lord send me.