A thread for husbands and fathers

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PennyinCanada

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If you knew a married man that was a husband and father of kids under 5 yrs of age, who wanted to bring Christ into the home more, what could he do? Let’s say he’s a “Christmas Catholic”. What would be a good place to start?

Prayer before the supper meal? Gospel reading of the day when the meal was over?

Do the sign of the Holy and life-giving Cross at bedtime on his children’s foreheads?

What can you suggest he might do for his wife?

Please post suggestions. Hopefully some dad’s will take up a new and good habit.
 
PennyinCanada said:
If you knew a married man that was a husband and father of kids under 5 yrs of age, who wanted to bring Christ into the home more, what could he do? Let’s say he’s a “Christmas Catholic”. What would be a good place to start?

Prayer before the supper meal? Gospel reading of the day when the meal was over?

Do the sign of the Holy and life-giving Cross at bedtime on his children’s foreheads?

What can you suggest he might do for his wife?

Please post suggestions. Hopefully some dad’s will take up a new and good habit.
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I think one of the most important things any father could do for his kids would be to go to church every Sunday with them and set a good example. I believe I once read that statistically it is the father’s church attendance that is one of the, if not the strongest predictor of the children’s future attendance of church services, and hence their religious futures.

I would go so far as to say that given this information, it is a father’s grave duty to take the lead and set a good example to his children in this way. I know it’s a long shot, but it’s also a good place to start because meeting one’s Sunday obligation is the first step from transitioning from being a “Christmas Catholic” to a faithful Catholic, and thus setting an example for the family to follow suit.

Other devotional practices may reinforce this, but I think that outright obedience is best, and should be taken ahead of any other measures.
 
Agree with the above. Go to Mass, especially on Sunday (It is a mortal sin to miss Mass on all Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation without a grave reason).

That alone will show your family what is important. Prayer before meals is also good.
 
I’m a fairly new husband and soon-to-be father myself, so this is good to think about!

I think going to church every Sunday with the kids is a huge one. My father went to church and brought us along every Sunday as long as he could make us (when we got older it was harder because we were more obstinate) even when my mother stopped going. I think this had an influence on me.

Other big ones are grace before meals, and nighttime prayer. Growing up, it was my mother who did the nighttime prayer with us, but someone has to do it and the Dad might as well take the lead.

Other ideas? Bringing God into everyday conversation can help. I remember when I was a kid I asked a lot of “why’s”, and my Dad would answer all of them…but the the conversation always ended with God, in a humorous way. “Why do I have to eat veggies?” Cuz I said so. “why” Cuz they will make you healthy. “Why?” Cuz your body needs the vitamins and minerals. “Why?” Because that’s the way God made it!

No matter what started my “why” chain of questioning, it always ended up with *“That’s they way God made it.” * It seems kind of silly, but its just an example of how God and our family’s deference to Him was just kind of ingrained, a part of every day life. God is assumed…and that framed everything else in those developmental years.
 
King_Lazy said:
I think one of the most important things any father could do for his kids would be to go to church every Sunday with them and set a good example. I believe I once read that statistically it is the father’s church attendance that is one of the, if not the strongest predictor of the children’s future attendance of church services, and hence their religious futures.

I would go so far as to say that given this information, it is a father’s grave duty to take the lead and set a good example to his children in this way. I know it’s a long shot, but it’s also a good place to start because meeting one’s Sunday obligation is the first step from transitioning from being a “Christmas Catholic” to a faithful Catholic, and thus setting an example for the family to follow suit.

Other devotional practices may reinforce this, but I think that outright obedience is best, and should be taken ahead of any other measures.
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Well said, thank you!
(Confession too! 😉 )
 
As a father myself, I think daily Mass attendance is very good for kids. I would say the two important things would be reading scripture everyday with kids, and praying ejaculatory prayers + the rosary. Devotions like frequently kissing a crucifix and saying things like “thank you Jesus” and “I love you Jesus” are really important too. It’s never too late to start doing these things. And I would jump right into them. 🙂
 
Another idea is to pop in a rosary CD after dinner or before bed while rocking the children

My kids are a bit older, but we also like to memorize one of the readings for the upcoming Sunday’s mass. It’s fun when the reading catches my 6YO’s attention during mass and he gives me the thumb’s up sign.

I’ve mentioned it in another thread, but Living Faith Kids is a great resource for daily devotions for kids, and it is only $13 for the year.
 
28562 said:
Umm…please tell me what these are. I have never heard that term and I can’t imagine it’s what I am thinking.:confused:
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:rotfl:
Yeah, think of it as “exclamatory.”

Oh jeez, I can’t stop laughing at imagining what you must have been thinking.
 
Important for dad to be the spiritual leader in the family. It will make the kids strong and it is a turn on for the wife! 😃

Weekly mass for sure.
Making the sign of the cross on your children’s forehead before bed.
Holding your spouses hand at night and saying a prayer…even just a simple one like, “God guide, bless and protect our family.” The Saint Michael prayer is a must at bedtime for us.

Start with making the small steps and it will lead you to wonderful places. 😃

Remember…The family that prays together stays together!!
 
  • Weekly Mass as a family
  • Leading any family prayers that are undertaken (like the rosary, etc).
  • Leading Grace before/after meals (and maybe a morning offering at the breakfast table?)
  • Setting a good example of personal prayer and the building of good habits and virtues, reading of spiritual books, etc, where his kids can see. Attending a week day Mass or adoration on his own. Not in your face, but not hiding it from them to keep it personal, either.
  • Reading aloud the Gospel reading for Sundays before Mass (like on a Saturday) and discussing it with the family.
  • Leading evening prayers, an examination of conscience, hymns, etc before bed.
  • Blessing the children with holy water and the sign of the cross before bed.
  • Praying daily for his wife and children.
And I double or triple the recommendation to take it slow. Choose one thing and work on it for awhile until it has become a habit. Maybe the easiest like blessing the children before bed or always leading Grace before meals. Spiritual maturity comes with time and effort, like anything else.
 
In addition to going to Mass, I would suggest taking your family to confession at least monthly if not bimonthly. It would be something to do as a family to help your kids get into the habit of obtaining that particular grace and putting an emphasis on its importance.

I would also recommend creating a “devotional corner” in your house. Get crucifix, some holy water, a nice comfy chair and the bible so that you and your family can read scripture surrounded by sacramentals.
 
I thought about this thread a lot yesterday. We already attend Mass every Sunday and say grace before meals, so I was looking for a few more ways to bring the family closer to God. I moved our crucifix to a more prominent location in the house today and got another one out of a drawer and put it up. Also, I plan to start saying bedtime prayers with the kids tonight.

I have recently come to realize that I am supposed to be not only the head of the household, but the spiritual leader of our family as well. It’s a big responsibility, so I am looking forward to all the suggestions on this thread for more ideas!

One thing I can say for sure is that the closer I get to God, the closer I feel to my family and the more I love them.
 
28562 said:
I thought about this thread a lot yesterday. We already attend Mass every Sunday and say grace before meals, so I was looking for a few more ways to bring the family closer to God. I moved our crucifix to a more prominent location in the house today and got another one out of a drawer and put it up. Also, I plan to start saying bedtime prayers with the kids tonight.

I have recently come to realize that I am supposed to be not only the head of the household, but the spiritual leader of our family as well. It’s a big responsibility, so I am looking forward to all the suggestions on this thread for more ideas!

One thing I can say for sure is that the closer I get to God, the closer I feel to my family and the more I love them.
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Thank you for that!
We really need more men to be a witness to Christ in their marriages, their families, their neighborhoods. May God continue to strengthen you in this vocation!
 
A few things I do/have done:
  • Regular Confession. Even if the kids aren’t old enough to go themselves, seeing their father going regularly sets a very, very important example and opens the door to talk.
  • Each Sunday after Mass we go to the local diner for breakfast, while waiting we discuss that days readings or homily. Bring the priests message down to their level or talk about how we make the message part of our lives…
  • If you have kids old enough and attending religious education in your parish, volunteer. If you feel up to it, teach. If not, just assist a teacher or do something else. Taking the kids and dropping them off doesn’t send nearly the same message as if you take them and STAY and serve God while they are growing closer to Him… and what it will do for you serving Him and giving Him a chance to work through you…
  • Grace before AND after every meal.
  • During the evening meal, have everyone talk about what they did during their day and what they are thankful for. Teach them to thank God for everything. When it’s your turn don’t just be thankful for the good, model thanks for the difficult things that are the opportunities that bring us closer to God and strengthen our faith. Of course, you know your children’s maturity level, so don’t layout the message of Fatima to a 5 year old. But use conversation to teach.
  • Put a holy water font by the door(s) you use most frequently and bless yourself coming and going, ask for God’s protection for you and your family when you leave. Thank Him for protecting you when you return. Or, if your house is anything like mine with two teenagers and a tween, ask Him to protect you when you get home too… 😃
  • Read the Bible. Depending on their age maybe use a children’s illustrated Bible… My kids being older, they love the daily meditations from “Word Among Us”. So our nightly prayer time starts with reading that day’s Gospel, then the daily meditation, then we take turns thanking God for the days blessings, pray for intentions and end with an Our Father, Hail Mary, and prayer to St. Michael. And when the Spirit moves, I’ll offer up an off-the-cuff prayer. (Funny, the kids have noticed that years ago, most nights we ended with our prayer to St. Michael, but now it’s more common for me to add a prayer… it’s not just them growing and learning… 😉 )
  • When the kids were younger I would go in to tuck them each in at night and we’d spend 5 minutes with God. Mostly this was 5 minutes of them being quiet and me guiding them through a simplified Examen prayer… I’d start asking them to close their eyes and imagine Jesus there with us and they should tell Him how much they love him and about the good things in their day. After a minute, I’d have them think about the things Jesus had seen them do that day that made Him sad and silently tell Him about them and apologize. Then the last 3 minutes, their favorite part. I would tell them that Jesus longed to forgive them but what he most wanted was to have them lie their head against Him so He could hold them, hug them and tell them how much He loves them. They would just lie there and let Jesus talk to them, telling them how much He loved them. I could rarely resist hugging them too… 🙂 They are older now, so it has kind of drifted from our routine, my teenage girls do their own private prayers at bedtime after our family prayers and generally would rather not have Dad sitting at the edge of their bed while they do an examination of conscience and put themselves in the presence of God. But, there are still nights when one or more of them will say, “Daddy, will talk to me while Jesus loves me?” I live for those moments. 😃
  • Keep age appropriate Catholic books readily accessible to the kids. Picture books on Saints and Bible stories for younger kids. Older age appropriate books on Saints, things like the “Prove it…” series by Amy Welborn, a YouCat, etc. as they get older. And the classic writings of the Saints, modern introductory apologetics, devotional and inspirational reading for the high schoolers…
  • Give the kids Holy Cards, Saint coins, other small devotionals. Talk about them, pray with them.
  • Set the example for your family. Being the spiritual head of your household is living and acting so that when they look at you they see Christ. Think Ephesians 5:25-26. Your vocation as a husband and father is to get your wife and children to Heaven. That’s your number one job. Christ’s purpose was to come, die on the Cross and lead us to Heaven. Ours is to love our wives (and families in the same way). Die to ourselves to get ourselves and them to heaven. If you are a true man of God, your kids will look at you and see Christ living through you. A man sacrificing himself to show his love for the woman he loves and the kids he helped create.
  • In the car, listen to Catholic radio. Or the local Christian music channel. Or devotional CD’s. Nothing wrong with having fun listening to secular music too, but be alert and ready to teach when the message is wrong… And by teach, I don’t mean lecture… ask the kids questions… get them to think about what the song is saying, ask questions that lead them to tell you what the problem is and what a better message is… One great moment took place listening to the radio when “Pumped Up Kicks” was the new hit song… I admit, I hadn’t paid a lot of attention to the lyrics, it had a catchy beat that I just sort of heard in the background while we were driving and talking about other things, none of us were really paying much attention, except my oldest daughter… she noticed we were all kind of bopping to the music and said, “You hear what they are saying?” She picked up the dark message and called it out… We still bop to it, but my kids have their own lyrics all about their sister that is on the track team…
 
TryingToLearn said:
A few things I do/have done:
  • Regular Confession. Even if the kids aren’t old enough to go themselves, seeing their father going regularly sets a very, very important example and opens the door to talk.
  • Each Sunday after Mass we go to the local diner for breakfast, while waiting we discuss that days readings or homily. Bring the priests message down to their level or talk about how we make the message part of our lives…
  • If you have kids old enough and attending religious education in your parish, volunteer. If you feel up to it, teach. If not, just assist a teacher or do something else. Taking the kids and dropping them off doesn’t send nearly the same message as if you take them and STAY and serve God while they are growing closer to Him… and what it will do for you serving Him and giving Him a chance to work through you…
  • In the car, listen to Catholic radio. Or the local Christian music channel. Or devotional CD’s. Nothing wrong with having fun listening to secular music too, but be alert and ready to teach when the message is wrong… And by teach, I don’t mean lecture… ask the kids questions… get them to think about what the song is saying, ask questions that lead them to tell you what the problem is and what a better message is… One great moment took place listening to the radio when “Pumped Up Kicks” was the new hit song… I admit, I hadn’t paid a lot of attention to the lyrics, it had a catchy beat that I just sort of heard in the background while we were driving and talking about other things, none of us were really paying much attention, except my oldest daughter… she noticed we were all kind of bopping to the music and said, “You hear what they are saying?” She picked up the dark message and called it out… We still bop to it, but my kids have their own lyrics all about their sister that is on the track team…
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So many great suggestions! A couple things I also do is discussing the homily with my kids when we come home from Sunday’s Mass. It was moving for me last summer watching my 8 year old son try so hard to get his brain wrapped around certain mysteries.

For Lent this year we’re doing a family rosary weekly. It is my intention to continue after Lent. We’ll just make it part of our routine now.
 
PennyinCanada said:
If you knew a married man that was a husband and father of kids under 5 yrs of age, who wanted to bring Christ into the home more, what could he do? Let’s say he’s a “Christmas Catholic”. What would be a good place to start?

Prayer before the supper meal? Gospel reading of the day when the meal was over?

Do the sign of the Holy and life-giving Cross at bedtime on his children’s foreheads?

What can you suggest he might do for his wife?

Please post suggestions. Hopefully some dad’s will take up a new and good habit.
Click to expand...
The most important thing a man can do is give his whole life, heart, mind and will to Jesus Christ. Everything else will flow from that dedication. He will know what to do and how to do it, if he only focuses his whole existence toward Christ.
 
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