A Very Good Homily

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glendab

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Well, I actually heard a very good homily this past Sunday and it keeps ringing in my ears. I thought I’d share here some of the gist of it because I cannot quote my Pastor who gave it, but he surely did get me thinking and he was right on target this time. He is somewhat of a philosopher of the common man, not quite a GK Chesterton, but he does like to leave us with much food for thought and quite often ends his homilies with a poignant question. This Sunday was no exception and it keeps rattling around in my head. I guess I’m guilty of as he said keeping the 11th Commandment.

Well, I should explain. He talked about St. Peter the week before and Jesus giving him the Keys to the Kingdom and laying all that responsibility on his shoulders. Big stuff! But then he mentioned this week’s rebuke by this same Jesus to this same man not a little while after. Poor St. Peter is being called Satan by God himself for being a obstacle! Yikes! Scarry stuff. So what does this have to do with an 11th Commandment? Bear with me. He wanted to know how this applies to our daily walk and what relevance this has to us today, so he brought up parenting and how often doing what is right for our children earns their rebuke! Yeppers; we become like satan to our kids when they don’t get what they want from us, when we become an obstacle to them getting their ways, etc. He turned the whole thing around to make the point. If parents always did what children wanted so as to be “nice” wouldn’t life be wonderful? It would be, at least from a teenagers point of view. So, there ya go - you’re Peter in your homes and your children are being told to do stuff they don’t like like eat your lima beans or brush your teeth or no chores, no car or no babysitting your little brother, no staying out till ten this Saturday! And so on. So what’s wrong with this picture? he said kinda loudly btw. And his voice went up for this next: *“You’re not being NICE! mom and dad! You’re not being nice.” *I’ll summarize the rest because time is short. He then went on to state how being nice is a way of life for many and it really has little to do with being Christian and how being nice has been elevated by some to the status of an "11TH Commandment, as in ‘Thou shalt always be NICE!’’ and he said this last one with a sting to his words. He ended his homily leaving some of us squirming a little in the pews with a question: "How many of you think there is ***an 11th Commandment *and try to insist others live by it too? Think about it folks."

Yeah. He does have a point. So I thought after all that long winded prep, I’d ask the same question: How many here are quilty of keeping an 11th Commandment, “Thou shalt be nice?”

Glenda
 
Oh, I have certainly been guilty of that many times. It is still a battle every time I am confronted with an opportunity to speak the Truth or yield so things stay “nice.” Fortunately I have realized that the Truth must come first, no matter how it will be received.
 
Yes, guilty, many times having put the 11th before the first.
 
I agree with your pastor’s conclusion and I think it’s the downfall of most of us that we try to Be Nice At All Costs. But to my mind he (or maybe you in paraphrasing) got the characters switched. In our homes, we aren’t Peter, we’re Jesus telling our children what they don’t want to hear. The kids are acting as Peter, trying to get you to change your mind. We aren’t Satan in our homes, we are Jesus showing our children the right path, even if it’s the most difficult one.
 
We can be like Satan to our children if we demand what they can’t give. It frustrates them, and the parents as well. It’s a painful lesson God had to teach me, and He was the only one who could. If children are not in the state of grace, do not know Jesus, they are actually spiritually handicapped. And if we do not understand this, we are too. So patience, and a lot of spiritual understanding is necessary to see what forces are prevailing in the conduct of our children and ourselves. When I learned this through a lot of pain, then things really changed for the better for children and parents. Children are very absorbed in what give them pleasure, and if you prevent them from it, they really react. So it takes a lot of understanding to settle this situation in a positive and effective way. One can easily become a bear and say, Stop or I’ll…" We can easily enhance the rebellious state of children if we don’t have patience and understanding. As Holy Scripture says “Fathers don’t aggravate your children”
 
Hello Seagal.
seagal said:
I agree with your pastor’s conclusion and I think it’s the downfall of most of us that we try to Be Nice At All Costs. But to my mind he (or maybe you in paraphrasing) got the characters switched. In our homes, we aren’t Peter, we’re Jesus telling our children what they don’t want to hear. The kids are acting as Peter, trying to get you to change your mind. We aren’t Satan in our homes, we are Jesus showing our children the right path, even if it’s the most difficult one.
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Exactly. You got it. Were you there by any chance? he did switch the roles back and forth, but I couldn’t tell you all he said or the thread would’ve reached it word limit. Yikes! can’t do that. So I skipped his various examples and went straight for the punch line. I’m glad folks are getting the point.

I think as a woman this 11th Commandment is actually EXPECTED of me more so then men. But then I’m sexist, instead of nice aren’t I?

Glenda
 
I think that if people as a rule did what Jesus said: ‘say “yes” when you mean yes, and “no” when you mean no’, there would be much less of a problem. And taking people at their word is another, which has the effect of making people think a bit more about what they say before saying it, and helps people appreciate their words are noted and so are responsible for them (honesty on all levels). To put Peter on the shoulders of a child is not fair, even figuratively. Children are always the child Jesus and the parents are to imitate the holy family - firm but loving. All is Christ. You could even say you are Jesus adult teaching Jesus child.
 
friardchips said:
I think that if people as a rule did what Jesus said: ‘say “yes” when you mean yes, and “no” when you mean no’, there would be much less of a problem. And taking people at their word is another, which has the effect of making people think a bit more about what they say before saying it, and helps people appreciate their words are noted and so are responsible for them (honesty on all levels). To put Peter on the shoulders of a child is not fair, even figuratively. Children are always the child Jesus and the parents are to imitate the holy family - firm but loving. All is Christ. You could even say you are Jesus adult teaching Jesus child.
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I think that’s taking the example farther than the priest meant to go. From what I understand, he meant that sometimes our greatest failing is going along to get along, being afraid of standing firm in the truth and instead acting nice so no one will feel bad. Maybe the parent/child relationship as an example wasn’t the best choice but I think the point is valid.

To Glenda, no I wasn’t there. 🙂
 
glendab said:
Hello Seagal.

Exactly. You got it. Were you there by any chance? he did switch the roles back and forth, but I couldn’t tell you all he said or the thread would’ve reached it word limit. Yikes! can’t do that. So I skipped his various examples and went straight for the punch line. I’m glad folks are getting the point.

I think as a woman this 11th Commandment is actually EXPECTED of me more so then men. But then I’m sexist, instead of nice aren’t I?

Glenda
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You may be right that society expects women to Be Nice moreso than men, but then as Christian women it wouldn’t hurt to shock people once in a while. 😉
 
seagal said:
I think that’s taking the example farther than the priest meant to go. From what I understand, he meant that sometimes our greatest failing is going along to get along, being afraid of standing firm in the truth and instead acting nice so no one will feel bad. Maybe the parent/child relationship wasn’t the best choice but I think the point is valid.

To Glenda, no I wasn’t there. 🙂
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😃 Well still, in fairness to all, the parent is being Peter, when the parent should be being Jesus.

Either way, a very thought-provoking homily, and thread.
 
It’s just my opinion, when Jesus said to Peter “Get behind Me Satan”, that He was actually talking to Satan. Peter was his instrument in his ignorance. Jesus’ mission was to give His life for the salvation of mankind. Peter unknowingly tried to persuade Jesus from His mission, it’s as if Satan worked through Peter’s ignorance, as he did with St.Paul when he persecuted Christians in ignorance. Satan takes advantage of all our spiritual weaknesses ignorance is a spiritual weakness and one of the consequences of original sin, Weakness of will is another, and Peter showed this when he denied Christ. Jesus told Peter that Satan desired to sift him as wheat, but Jesus prayed for him.
 
glendab said:
Well, I actually heard a very good homily this past Sunday and it keeps ringing in my ears. I thought I’d share here some of the gist of it because I cannot quote my Pastor who gave it, but he surely did get me thinking and he was right on target this time. He is somewhat of a philosopher of the common man, not quite a GK Chesterton, but he does like to leave us with much food for thought and quite often ends his homilies with a poignant question. This Sunday was no exception and it keeps rattling around in my head. I guess I’m guilty of as he said keeping the 11th Commandment.

Well, I should explain. He talked about St. Peter the week before and Jesus giving him the Keys to the Kingdom and laying all that responsibility on his shoulders. Big stuff! But then he mentioned this week’s rebuke by this same Jesus to this same man not a little while after. Poor St. Peter is being called Satan by God himself for being a obstacle! Yikes! Scarry stuff. So what does this have to do with an 11th Commandment? Bear with me. He wanted to know how this applies to our daily walk and what relevance this has to us today, so he brought up parenting and how often doing what is right for our children earns their rebuke! Yeppers; we become like satan to our kids when they don’t get what they want from us, when we become an obstacle to them getting their ways, etc. He turned the whole thing around to make the point. If parents always did what children wanted so as to be “nice” wouldn’t life be wonderful? It would be, at least from a teenagers point of view. So, there ya go - you’re Peter in your homes and your children are being told to do stuff they don’t like like eat your lima beans or brush your teeth or no chores, no car or no babysitting your little brother, no staying out till ten this Saturday! And so on. So what’s wrong with this picture? he said kinda loudly btw. And his voice went up for this next: *“You’re not being NICE! mom and dad! You’re not being nice.” *I’ll summarize the rest because time is short. He then went on to state how being nice is a way of life for many and it really has little to do with being Christian and how being nice has been elevated by some to the status of an "11TH Commandment, as in ‘Thou shalt always be NICE!’’ and he said this last one with a sting to his words. He ended his homily leaving some of us squirming a little in the pews with a question: "How many of you think there is ***an 11th Commandment *and try to insist others live by it too? Think about it folks."

Yeah. He does have a point. So I thought after all that long winded prep, I’d ask the same question: How many here are quilty of keeping an 11th Commandment, “Thou shalt be nice?”

Glenda
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There is no eleventh commandment “thou shalt be nice.” But at CAF. It is the only commandment. To their credit and dismay.😉
 
sounds like the priest feels that todays parents are a bit too liberal, and have a difficult time saying no to their children.
 
I fear the point of Father’s homily that I was trying to bring here, the thought provoking I think is beneficial for us is being either lost or distorted. He wasn’t giving a speech about admonishing one’s children sufficiently, that was an example of how being nice at all costs is wrong. The lima beans of life need eating.

But he wasn’t advocating the punishment of children at all. Neither am I.

The point of the homily was how many of us have elevated the principle of being nice at all costs to a veritable 11th Commandment? THAT’s the point and that was my question. It is an admonishment to us, not our children. And I for one am often guilty of keeping an 11th Commandment and it is work for me to say “No, thank you,” and mean it when everyone around me expects a “Yes, of course,” from me whether or no I mean it or even want to say so. I was raised to be a doormat and being nice at all costs was part of my downfall. That’s why his homily got to me and so I thought I’d share it here at CAF. I should’ve known better and seen that my words would somehow get twisted up to say things they don’t. They usually do. 🤷

Glenda
 
“Common wisdom” also tells us that we should associate with people who build us up and not with people who tear us down and criticize us, etc.

That’s telling people that instead of growing in emotional maturity, to hide in an imaginary shelter and wish the storms all blow over and stay away forever and ever.

Why does “discipline” and “correction” get mixed up with “punishment?” We need to move into the New Testament with how we thing of those things that purify us.

MS
 
If a “friend” smiles and talks to me and pretends not to notice an obvious chunk of egg on my face so that all others may gaze up my faults as I remain clueless, that friend has not acted in my best interest.

Same way when I’m behaving in a way that others can detect but I can’t. I am acting like a jerk not because I don’t love God or the people around me – I’m acting like a jerk because I’m ignorant of how I’m coming across. Some people may not mind being a jerk but I do.

But friends don’t let friends act like jerks. At least not without at least calling it to their attention. Doesn’t mean we have to be “not nice” to them, though; it really just requires a certain level of honesty. I think of “nice” in the context of this sermon as “keeping the bad stuff hidden,” because I think that’s how the problems he’s talking about most often manifest.

MS
 
i see. well, we must be charitable, and speak the truth in love. nothing wrong with being nice, as long as we are truthful about Christ and our relationship with Him. perhaps i’m still not understanding.
 
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