Abandoning my Faith

[Talitha712]

I’m sure all of what I just said is shallow and “feelings” and it is. But it is what it is now in my life and I feel miserable

It is not shallow. Everything you mentioned is normal. Even the weather one - a dear friend went up north for college. She’s a skier and used to love winter, but those short, dark days and cold nights sure made her miserable.

If being with God for the rest of my life means I must endure in the same situation, I prefer not.

You don’t know that this will last. In fact, you know it won’t. Life changes all the time. It could very well change for the better. Even if it doesn’t, staying close to God will help Him give you what you need to endure. Not to get extreme, but this is how martyrs endured the worst tortures. They let God replace their weakness with His strength. And in the end, there is still eternity to think about.

To use it against your sins or someone else’s sins. Does that mean that you get credit for sinning since you paid the price with your suffering? Do you say “God see my suffering, please cancel my sins since I have paid my price?” Is it said in prayer?

You don’t get credit for sinning, you get it for offering up suffering. Picture money in a bank. If you sin, money is withdrawn. You don’t get free money put back. But if you work, you make money. This is a poor example on the spur of a moment, but it’s like that. You sin. You repent. Then, when you offer up suffering, God grants you graces and shortens any punishment you may have from past sins. So, if when you die He sends you to Purgatory, your stay there may be less. Or if you were to go to Heaven, this could give you a higher state of glory. Or if you choose to offer it up for another, the graces might help them turn from sin, repent, smaller punishment, higher glory, etc. God doesn’t waste. He’ll literally use everything you send Him for souls.

 

[Talitha712]

In the morning, I say “I offer you my day and all it’s prayers, works, joys and sufferings, for the intentions of Your Sacred Heart and reparation for sin.”

Even something simple in a moment of pain “I offer You my all, do with me as You Will”

 

[Limoncello4021]

Every single thing that happens to you every day of your life comes from God. He is fully in control, and he knows what is happening. If you can accept every single thing with trust, peace, and even joy, saying with Mary, “fiat: so be it,” you’d quickly see your life changing. It is not what happens to you but how you react to it.
May I offer a book suggestion? Read Fr. Walter Cizsek’s books, With God in Russia and He Leadeth Me. Here is a man who, under terrible circumstances, had to learn exactly this lesson of conforming to God’s will. It is an amazing story; it certainly puts most of our lives in perspective. I believe he will be canonized at one point.

 

[MrsAngelala]

I can relate to a lot of what you’re saying, Michael.

I also have a hard time relating to God as a loving Father; though I once had what I thought was a close relationship with him, a couple of years ago he went totally silent. Have you tried asking St. Joseph for help? He is the human father par excellence, and as such, he’s a great link to Father-God. He’s also super-helpful as a provider and protector. For example, as I’m learning what sorts of circumstances accompany possible spiritual attacks, I’ve learned to ask St. Joseph to protect me from evil without and my Angel to protect me from any cooperation or consent within. It’s unbelievably effective.

God isn’t moving the goalpost. It’s always been seated in heaven. He makes you work a little harder as you get stronger, so that you continue to grow in strength instead of weakening.

Yes, there are a lot of priests who ignore their duties to their flock. (I speak from unfortunate personal experience.) But we have to consider that a priest is called by God for two purposes: one for the sanctification of God’s people, and the other because God sees it is the best route for that man’s sanctification. If we run away from our negligent, or cruel, or loveless priests – our brothers – how will they learn to do their duty, and how will they make it to heaven? If instead we offer the suffering they cause to Jesus for the sake of their souls, God will honor that. Msgr. Shea said in his talk, “Glimpses on the Way to the Cross,” “Suffering, you know, is the most precious coin of all. Suffering of body, suffering of mind, paid down willingly for Christ in our sisters and brothers, enables Jesus to carry his redeeming cross through the world, to the end of time.”

I have often been tempted not to go to Mass, daily and Sunday. Occasionally I do stay away (from daily) just to take a break, because I get overwhelmed. Sometimes every moment feels like a full forever, which I call “dilated time.” The good thing is that God can use it to accomplish a lot in what is really a very short period. Stay with it, Michael. Offer Jesus your confusion and pain; the only reason you’re experiencing it is because you’re staying with him. “Jesus, please accept my suffering as a sacrifice of love to you.”

Please be easy. Whatever it feels like, you’re not abandoned, you cannot be abandoned, and God is most certainly not finished with you yet.

“Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place.” MercyMe, “Just Be Held”

 

[MrsAngelala]

The mechanics: “Jesus, please accept my suffering, and together with your suffering on the cross, use it for the benefit of x.” You can ask him to use it to benefit a particular person, a particular situation, or as he sees fit. I think some people offer their suffering to Mary so that she can bring it to Jesus and distribute the graces it stimulates? Not completely sure how that works, because I haven’t done it.

Or, “Please accept this suffering as an offering of love to you.”

I’ve used “suffering” to encompass physical/emotional/spiritual/mental pain, confusion, annoyances and irritations, the inconveniences of fasting, and even unintentionally sleepless nights. It’s a pretty broad designation.

 

[GratefulFred]

Yes, I do love the Eucharist, I do believe in the Real Presence,

This alone is THE reason to not abandon your Faith. And the sacrament of Reconciliation as well.

I’m 73 and fortunate to be a practicing Catholic all my life. Yet I know I am no saint and need the Sacrament of Reconciliation often so I can continue to receive the Holy Eucharist worthily. My prayer life could be better.

When I die and stand Judgment I will not be asked to justify the lack of effort from other Catholics, especially those in the Church Hierarchy. I will be asked only to answer for myself. Yes, it wold be very nice to have a personal relationship with a person in front of me to sustain my Faith. But I also have EWTN and near by Catholic book stores and several excellent websites including www.vatican.va with extensive resources. We live in a fairly large area so we have at least a dozen easy to get to Churches. And an excellent Retreat Center.

As to God being on my time schedule - forgetaboutit. He has His timing. Mine is to be faithful and patient. Christ was Perfect, yet He suffered greatly. My suffering is a way for me to connect with His Suffering if I am humble enough to acknowledge His timing is better than mine.

Constantly pray for the the Wisdom and Strength to do God’s Will, not your will, but God’s Will be done.

 

[Spyridon]

They are like civil servants within a hierarchy known as the Church - they may do their job right, nothing more, nothing less, but don’t expect too much. They are more like church keepers than pastors.

I can relate to this big time and fully understand.

It’s frustrating to say the least. I think Catholic Priests need to start doing a much better job at interacting with the laity…

The Church is still recovering from rampant clericalism which was ubiquitous in the 20th century, and which was what enabled the clergy sex abuse scandal to take place.

 

[rose321]

I have been very disappointed with God in the past one month and a half and I always feel tempted to abandon my Catholic Faith.

Respectfully seems God has not abandon you, sometimes we do not see what is right in front of us maybe?

No >>God as not abandon you! For your Loving Father, has brought you here to Catholic Answer Forum>>>> where there are many>>>>> Beautiful Souls who are Faithful> Loving> Compassionate,>Caring people >>>>>>>>who belong to >>The Catholic Church, who will help support you, encourage you, unselfishly willing to guide you through this difficult time>>> No >>>God has not abandon you! Your Loving Father has guided you to the right place!!

No>> God has not abandon you>>> for He has given you strength to post on a very >>Large Public Forum<<< to express your very private personal concerns>> openly, honestly. God has filled you with great courage to be able to do so, no God has not abandon you!

No>> God has not abandon you, rather God has given you the strength, to >>Empty>> oneself of negative thoughts within and toward others, holding such within>>>>>>>Leaves no room >>For Love>>> to enter in and begin to heal. No God has not abandon you!

If God is really a loving Father, why not guide me through all these?

MichaelAnonymous Kindly suggesting to read my above reply to you again>all my >>>>>>>>>>No>> God has not abandon you<<<

I will not give any other loving and caring advice, for I feel >>> Your Loving Father >>> has guided you to the right place!! For there are >>So many Beautiful, Loving, Faithful, Compassionate, Caring Souls >> on Catholic Answers who will be far more qualified to answer your questions that are deeply troubling you and guide you through this!!

Peace

 

[Magnificant]

Don’t lose you faith! God is just testing you, and testing your faith and if you could hold on. Do you know Job of the Bible? God has given him tremendous problems, God even took everything from him, even his loving family! Yet, Job did not lose his faith, thus, praised God more.

The problems were given to us tests. It will not be given to us if we can not get through it.

And also, focus on your faith to God. Do not be taunted by the negatives you are seeing, you are beeing teased by a devil.

If you give up, then you are giving yourself to the devil.

Do not speak like its done, you don’t know what eternal punishment is. Take back your words, ask God for forgiveness and just pray. Prayers work. Have a strong faith!

I will pray for you. May God bless you.

 

[TheLittleLady]

The problems were given to us tests. It will not be given to us if we can not get through it.

This sounds nice as a platitude, but, it is contrary to the teaching of the Faith. See what the epistle of James tells us

James, chapter 1:

Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life that he promised to those who love him.

No one experiencing temptation should say, “I am being tempted by God”; for God is not subject to temptation to evil, and he himself tempts no one.

Rather, each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.

Then desire conceives and brings forth sin, and when sin reaches maturity it gives birth to death.

I Corinthians chapter 10 vs 13 is often misstated:

No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.

So, God will always provide a way out of the trial.

 

[PJM]

God didn’t abandon YOU; He’s TESTING YOU!

Heaven and HELL are very real and for eternity; Pray about it; and think about it!

GOD is NOT at OUR beck and call:

He can say:
YES
NO and NOT now

Easter Blessings,
Patrick

 

[oldgraymare2]

Talitha712:

We don’t go out of our way for misery, we simply make the most of suffering and offer it up for other souls.

What does that mean to offer up our suffering? I’m serious, I would like to know so I can do it.

Hi Nap,

Here is an explanation regarding Redemptive Suffering from Mother Angelica through Catholic Exchange. It is from this parish’s website, Christ the King:

http://ctkla.org/what-is-redemptive-suffering-mother-angelica-catholic-exchange/

 

[crenfro]

Hello.

Have you read the book of Job lately? The part where God directly addresses Job is very helpful to me. It’s like, who are you to argue with my ways, can you create the Heavens, etc. I very often like to give God directions on how things ought to be. I am still learning who’s who. It’s quite a struggle.

Have you read the Footprints prayer lately?

I’m sorry that you are experiencing so many bad examples. You sound angry, disappointed, and maybe depressed. I don’t understand, from looking at how many people act from my own parish, why we make it so difficult for someone to be Catholic, or drive them away by our apathy. There’s a book called “The Hidden Power of Kindness.” I just remembered it. Thanks for the reminder. I need to re-read it. We’re all in this together and need to support each other.

Have you considered a pilgrimage? Maybe a visit to EWTN or Our Lady of Good Help or, or, somewhere? Also, have you considered getting in touch with one of the apologists on this site? Also, what I’ve done in some cases, is to call up some of the apologists during their radio shows and ask them my questions.

You are in my prayers and please pray for me. Please feel free to PM me. God bless you.

 

[TheOldColonel]

If God is silent, be with Him in the silence.

 

[Timeflies2me]

Why put blame on God for our suffering? Pray without ceasing, in ALL circumstances give thanks. Prayer isn’t a request service for God to give us what we want and how we want it. God brought us into this world and gave us another day to live, is that not satisfying enough for us to love God? Does God not suffer with us through our pains?

I myself am going through hard times, but in these times of my hardships and going through my deep depressions, may we give thanks to God for my NEEDS, not my wants. We wont always get what we want, nothing is always going to go our way. Faith is knowing God for who he is, our creator that insists us to listen and follow even when everything seems silent. Answers may not come for years. Life isn’t always about smiling and happiness, its about the joy of having God in our lives to liven up our spirit towards him and do as he said. He is our Father after all. We leave our parents to start our life, but when we hit lows do we blame our parents for our falls? In God’s time, he will comfort.

Dont lose your faith, If I am still of faith, so can you be. I recommend reading the book of Job. Prayers to you and to the ones with faith as little as a mustard seed.

 

[Nap66]

Thanks to all here with their advice. I guess I just don’t have faith in God. I read OP’s story and it hit me that I feel exactly the same. I still do feel like abandoning the faith, mainly because the Catholic faith is so depressing. I felt this way also 30 years ago. I guess I’m shallow and I just get tired of the Catholic faith stressing “struggles, hardships, pain, etc.” There is no joy preached in the Catholic faith, at least in this life. We all have to wait until the next life to maybe, just maybe get some joy. But then maybe not. Who knows?

When I tell people I feel miserable and would like just a hint of happiness or something good to happen to me just once, the Catholic response is “well, there are people worse off than you!” True. But there are also people better off than me. Can’t God give me joy and happiness in this life? According to the Catholic faith, don’t expect it. So 30 years ago I went away from the faith and its doom and gloom and my life improved. It really did. Now I’ve come back (because God told me to, I didn’t do it on my own) and my life has sunk back into its Catholic doom and gloom. My life is getting worse and I am told to embrace it and feel joy in suffering. I just can’t.

 

[Arbovirus]

Why put blame on God for our suffering?

Because He of all can prevent it so we think He should’ve done something about it. If we were saints, we would patiently bear with all suffering with joy, serenity, and peace in union with the sufferings of Jesus. But we’re all just struggling here and mental/psychological/spiritual faculties don’t function as they should.

Thoughts get jumbled, satan causes more wreckage, and we feel helpless and abandoned (by God).

Not saying it’s right. Just a personal observation and personal experience.

 

[Arbovirus]

We all have to wait until the next life to maybe, just maybe get some joy.

I don’t know what it is…but the joy is said to be unimaginable. not some joy. and for all eternity.

I think it’s worth it to just take it one day at a time because if we think too much, it will get too heavy and difficult for our minds to process.

 

[Nap66]

I don’t know what it is…but the joy is said to be unimaginable. not some joy. and for all eternity.

So the church says. But the Catholic faith also says it is not guaranteed for any of us. We suffer through this life and probably the next as well. Gloom. At least Protestants say if you have faith in Jesus you will go to heaven. Makes suffering in this life bearable if you’re guaranteed the joy in the next. Catholic faith says nope. Don’t care about your sufferings or faith, you’re probably not good enough, enter Purgatory (maybe). It all seems so pointless.

 

[Genesis315]

Suffering is not just something we have to deal with before we get to Heaven–that makes suffering pointless. Rather it is the means by which, in Christ and with Christ, we expiate our sins and come to salvation. By faith we know that “to them that love God, all things work together unto good.” (Rom. 8:28). Sometimes it’s hard to see in this life, but that is where we have faith in the omnipotent, all-knowing, and all-good God. “For we walk by faith, and not by sight.” (2 Cor. 5:7) I think it was St. Augustine who said, to us, these things may looks like a pile of stones, but at the end, we will see how they were part of a beautiful mosaic.

some longer passages on this in my following post…