Abortion/Adoption post birth-mother counseling, just a question

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As most of you know, my husband and I are trying to adopt. As part of our state- mandated training, we have various reading assignments relating to all members of the adoption triad- birth parents, adopted children, and adoptive parents.

This week’s readings had a lot to do with birth parents: their struggles, the counseling they receive, their emotions, etc. I was really struck by how much the adoption agencies try to work with these women so that they clearly understand their options and to aid them with the grief process.

The resounding question that kept ringing through my head was, “If this is what society deems necessary for parents who choose to make an adoption plan, what is being done for parents who choose abortion?”

Does anyone know? I’m curious for a multitude of reasons but mostly because it seems like a very great double standard when one considers the feelings a person must have leading up to and after killing his or her baby. Perhaps I’m just ignorant, so please educate me.
 
I don’t know because it’s never happened to me, but 2 friends of mine had an abortion (in Britain) and DID have some councelling, but it was at the ‘Mary Stopes’ and very much confirming them into ‘yes, you’re doing the sensible thing’ and basically helping them come to that ecision that it really was for the best, all the after-councelling was also geared towards ‘coming to terms with what was the sensible decision’…I think one of them had 5 sessions with a therapist after all that as well…So yes, there IS councelling…but they really try to steer you INTO the direction of the abortion.

Mind you, same with adoption here in Britain: I knew one girl when I had my second daughter who was practically co-erced into giving up her son, ‘Social Services’ were visiting with the paper-work the day after he was born and I overheard them saying ‘It’s all for the best, you’re giving him the best startt in life, you’re so brave…’ all to help her give up her child…I found it quite distressing, she took a ton of pictures of him and held him for hours, she really felt she ‘had no choice but to give him up’…but it was obvious she really didn’t want to, she put on a brave face to ‘Social Services’ and the adoption people though.

So…I think on both sides the councelling could be better! Ideally no woman should EVER feel like she is ‘doing it for the child’, whether aborting it or giving it up for adoption…For me it’s a very emoionally charged subject: in an ideal world every child should be raised by the person who gave birth to it…in an ideal world…Because just like people regret abortions, people also often regret giving their child up for adoption. At least with adoption you’d know your child is alive in the world, but for some that may actually be more difficult …‘What is my child doing today…’ can be harder than ‘My child died…long ago…’

It’s a very complicated subject, I often wonder if either option is in ‘the best interest of the child’…no matter how loving the adoptive parents may turn out to be, there’s a mother out there deprived of her child.

I’m not saying this as a ‘negative’ against you, but…it’s just how I feel…being a mom myself, under difficult circumstances, I just can’t imagine ‘not’ having them right here with me:shrug:
 
Chovy said:
As
The resounding question that kept ringing through my head was, “If this is what society deems necessary for parents who choose to make an adoption plan, what is being done for parents who choose abortion?”

Does anyone know? I’m curious for a multitude of reasons but mostly because it seems like a very great double standard when one considers the feelings a person must have leading up to and after killing his or her baby. Perhaps I’m just ignorant, so please educate me.
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you are very perceptive. state and local laws to required such counselling are consistently struck down by the lobbying of the pro-death advocates and generally poorly defended by the fragmented pro-life movements (who are generally moving more in conflict with each other than with the opposition).
 
Crisis Pregnancy Centers do give couseling to women considering abortion. The places that make money from abortion do not.

Also, there are numerous post-abortion healing ministries, again certainly NOT from the abortion advocates or agencies.
 
I guess what this confirms is that the entities that claim they are pro-women by being pro-choice really are not for women at all. Not that this is a surprise to me but still . . .
 
Chovy said:
I guess what this confirms is that the entities that claim they are pro-women by being pro-choice really are not for women at all. Not that this is a surprise to me but still . . .
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Ann - you hit that one right on the head. Sad as it may be. 😦

~Liza
 
Pre & Post Abortive parents are given little or no counseling. Usually only if the parent requests it and it is very limited.
 
One of the parishes in our diocese does post abortion counseling. It is called Project Rachel stboniface.org/Pro-Life.htm (see half way down the page)
I don’t attend this parish, so I don’t know all the facts about the program. Although, I do know that they advertise it good and I have heard good things about it.
I think that we CAN NOT rely on government or pro-abortion groups to do counseling for these women. This is where I think the churches and pro-life organizations need to step up in offering these services in every community.
 
Many of the pro-life groups have post-abortive counseling. You will never get real counseling from the agency that support abortion - they won’t admit the couseling is needed.

Project Rachel and Rachel’s Vineyard are very good counseling/healing ministries.
 
anna1978 said:
At least with adoption you’d know your child is alive in the world, but for some that may actually be more difficult …‘What is my child doing today…’ can be harder than 'My child died…long ago…'QUOTE]

My child died?!?!?!?! If somebody aborts a child do they really think like that? My child died? Really?! But the child didn’t die - the child’s life was ended before it was born. To just state that my child died removes all responsibility for the decision from the one who made the decision. If they don’t claim what they did and just ignore their part in it, counseling will never help. You can’t deal with something that you won’t acknowledge.
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EDB said:
Pre & Post Abortive parents are given little or no counseling. Usually only if the parent requests it and it is very limited.
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Very true. And the girls going in for abortion are SHOVED IN the doors! (to get them away from sidewalk counselors) The people doing the shoving tend to be very mean and snarky.At least, from what I’ve seen where I live.
 
My very saintly friend is a Social Worker and for as long as abortion has been legal in my state, does sidewalk counseling. So 2 -3 times a weeks, winter, spring, summer and fall…she counsels women before they go into the “clinic”.

Needless to say the clinic workers don’t like this.

She’s been called very nasty things, come very close to getting assaulted, and has been arrested. But she still goes.

If she has saved just 1 baby a month (very conservative guess) 12 x35=420. So thank God for the people who do sidewalk counseling. God bless them and God protect them from evil.
 
Please tell your Saintly friend that she is in our prayers! She is a true hero. I wanted to go to my first sidewalk prayer/counseling session today but I chickened out.

How sad ( I am a West Point grad, former Army officer and I was afraid of what my family and others would think).

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!

I know my cowardice is a mortal sin!!!
 
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