Abortion due to gender.

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A forum that I visit posted a link to another forum where people want a specific gender. Maybe they desire a girl instead of a boy or a boy instead of a girl. That’s what the entire website is about.

So, I was curious and I went to that website. The first thread that really caught my attention is of a woman who has all boys, but is thinking of getting a cvs done with the next pregnancy (she is currently 37 weeks pregnant but plans another pregnancy) to see if the next one is a boy, if so, abort. I tried to reply but my reply wasn’t welcomed and I can’t post anymore there. I am a bit upset so I guess that’s why I am coming to you guys.

I don’t know if I am allowed to post a link to the thread and website, but if anyone wants it, pm me and I will send it to you. I don’t want anyone to think I am making this up. It’s just mind blowing.

I am going to copy and paste her post, and even so that this person obviously has some mental issues, some of the replies really made me shake my head in disgust.
Here is her post (By the way, GD stands for Gender Disappointment):

This post is on a highly sensitive subject please do not read if likely to upset .Contents on subject area which will probably upset many people…
Firstly I have no real excuse for my GD I dont dislike men or little boys I have a truly fantastic 2 year old boy I have a wonderful husband had a lovely Dad my brother is a intelligent and great man (well as good a little brother as you can expect really they are all pains) and my best friend as a child was a boy (shock horror boys are great fun!). But I want a DD so much it hurts I have great relationship with my mum and I so want that with my own daughter plus so many things I want to teach a DD and pass on to her. I also never expected to be able to have children due to having chemotherapy as a child but always thought if I could I would want a DD. But I am lucky in that I have been able to have children and also shockingly developed GD thus now a horrible person. I am struggling with what can only be described as extreem GD I am now 37 weeks with my second DS. I have got over my initial reaction to finding out it was a DS we were told girl at an early scan then boy at the next scan which has been very traumatic. I am now in a sort of excepting state of mind. Nobody knows the gender of this baby and I have been doing the fake smile as long as its healthy bit for months now (massive lie I WANT A GIRL and am deeply depressed about situation). Anyway the only thing that is keeping me going is the idea that I can have a girl next time but it must be a girl I can never ever go though this mental nightmare again. We can not afford high tech or to keep having children. So thinking (this is where it gets nasty and yes I am ashamed of myself) early CVS test for gender then only carry on with pregnancy if DD. OK very morally wrong but what I am asking is how early can this be done and has anyone on here done this. I sort of justify the idea as not being so different from selecting the gender in high tech. DH is 100% behind this idea having seen the cost of high tech and the state of my mental health since being told about DS2 Even the idea makes me feel sick but I see no other option now swaying has failed for me already although will do again as would rather not go down this route. Any advice welcome but no lectures on morals please as I am aware this is not acceptable to most people even myself a few years ago but things change and I dont have a massive house and spare funds that are needed for the more acceptable ways of getting a balanced family i.e keep trying or go OS for IVF PGD etc. Feel free to private message me if you would rather not post in public I hope this has not caused too much upset to anyone I am truly sorry if so just view it as the words of a mad women​

I don’t know what I am asking but I needed someone to vent to because it’s so disgusting, I am beside myself.
 
Wow… that is very disturbing.

I can’t imagine hating ones baby for its sex. So much so that they would abort it for being the wrong sex.

I didn’t know such a thing existed, but now I will pray for those people
 
Not to excuse this woman and her wants, but at the same time I can understand. She may be suffering from a form of depression either because of her pregnancy or preious ones (post-partum depression) and may be attributing it to wanting a girl so badly. My mother was almost in the same boat in that she most definetly wanted girls, at least the first one so bad, that she confessed to me years later that she honestly didn’t know if she could have gone through the pregnancy knowing that it was a boy (the 1st P with my oldest sister). I was one of her reasons for not asking the doctor what sex it was, because she felt that she would not have been able to carry. That was mostly a mental depression issue, although my dad swears that she wanted a girl so bad that she changed her bodies pH factor to kill off all his male sperm 😛 By the time that she had her two girls she didn’t care what I turned out to be when I came around. But I also know that my parent NOT having a boy almost led to a divorce (my dad desperately wanted a boy to carry on the family name. It got to the point that my mother told him to go out and have an affair to get his son and she would adopt it and care for it. because that want so affected his mental state. It doesn’t mean that he loved his daughters any less, just that he wanted another and a boy desperately. It could be the same for this woman and her husband. Morally it may be wrong, but that is somewhat the explaination of the mental state of disappointment.

PS before anyone jumps on me and calls me murderer and other such negative names, I’m trying to explain as unbias as possible.
 
Hiyas:)

Marie Stopes International has been preaching this for decades:mad:
 
BrokenFortress said:
Wow… that is very disturbing.

I can’t imagine hating ones baby for its sex. So much so that they would abort it for being the wrong sex.

I didn’t know such a thing existed, but now I will pray for those people
Click to expand...
It does not so much happen in this culture (American or Europe) but in very masculine cultures it does. There is a reason as well just beyond “hating” one’s child. Oft times it has to do with survival. This problem occurs in China alot especially with the one-child policy. Since in order to inherit, you must be male, a family that knows it will have a female, they know that the daughter will leave the family to go into her husbands family, thus leaving the parents losing their property to the state. It is not like here where a married couple will start a new life and family, separate from their parents, but rather a family will lose their daughter, and the other family will gain a daughter and keep a son, plus that couples offsrping, thus leaving the equation as such…starting off 3 and 3 (symbolizing the two parent and their one offspring) Once the new couple gets married it is now 2 and 4. To some this can have detrimental affects since once the parents of the daughter get older they have no one to care for the property or them. this can lead to parents deciding to abort a female child, put it into very overcrowded and abusive orphanages or leaving them exposed to die.

In countries like Iran, or Afghanistan, where women have no rights and are constantly abused, beating, raped, cannot work, leave the home, have any say in their own house, where their sons control them, it can leave many women unwilling to bring a daughter into the world to know that in their country they will be so abused and trampled on., so for them it is more of a protection act for their future child, should they be even able to obtain an abortin.
 
It is really a horrifying thought to abort because of the sex of the child, but in one sense her arguement is very common.

Here it is: I know that ____ is not right, but our situation is different, because ______. So we are going to go ahead down the wrong path because it’s harder for us/we can’t be expected to do this/we can’t see another way out.
 
RobnBobA1 said:
It does not so much happen in this culture (American or Europe) but in very masculine cultures it does. There is a reason as well just beyond “hating” one’s child. Oft times it has to do with survival. This problem occurs in China alot especially with the one-child policy. Since in order to inherit, you must be male, a family that knows it will have a female, they know that the daughter will leave the family to go into her husbands family, thus leaving the parents losing their property to the state. It is not like here where a married couple will start a new life and family, separate from their parents, but rather a family will lose their daughter, and the other family will gain a daughter and keep a son, plus that couples offsrping, thus leaving the equation as such…starting off 3 and 3 (symbolizing the two parent and their one offspring) Once the new couple gets married it is now 2 and 4. To some this can have detrimental affects since once the parents of the daughter get older they have no one to care for the property or them. this can lead to parents deciding to abort a female child, put it into very overcrowded and abusive orphanages or leaving them exposed to die.

In countries like Iran, or Afghanistan, where women have no rights and are constantly abused, beating, raped, cannot work, leave the home, have any say in their own house, where their sons control them, it can leave many women unwilling to bring a daughter into the world to know that in their country they will be so abused and trampled on., so for them it is more of a protection act for their future child, should they be even able to obtain an abortin.
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*If I’m remembering correctly (and someone correct me if I’m wrong), it was the same in Roman culture. When a woman gave birth, she would lay the baby at the husband’s feet. If he picked it up, it could live. If he turned away, it had to be left outdoors to die. At one point in their history, there were hardly any women because commonly a father would keep only boy babies.

I always wanted a boy. When I was pregnant, I hoped and prayed for a healthy baby boy. However, had my son been a girl, I would have loved her just the same with absolutely no difference. Children are such a blessing!
 
Oh, I am completely aware that it does happen in places like China for the fact that they believe they need a male to care for them etc.

I just wasn’t aware of it happening in our society.

I guess nothing these days should surprise me though.

I can understand desiring a certain sex, but to go to the extent of aborting the baby if it’s not the sex you want, or to feel like you can’t love it because it’s not a certain sex, that I don’t understand.
 
Dear Magic,
Wow, that is hard. If you get a chance to PM her, please tell her there are other options. My husband and I had 5 boys in a row (each one a tremendous blessing). For number 6, we got our daughter by adopting her from Romania. There was a sliver of doubt as to “would we love her as much as our bio kids”? , but that went out the window immediately. She is just one of the kids. She is now a high school senior!

(Number 5 son, who is 19, said to me the other day, “Mom, I’m sure glad you didn’t stop at 2 kids!!”
Please explain to her that if she wants a girl that bad and does not want to do anything immoral, adopt!!
In the meantime, she will be in my prayers.
Thanks
 
This is one of the most petty things I have ever read.

From my understanding, this is more common in China (but we aren’t in China).
 
Interesting and sad. Thanks for sharing Magic Stick. You know you have our backs on CAF with this!

I know in BC, you can’t get gender determination results on an ultrasound. I hate to say it, but I suspect it is due partially because of the high ethnic population in some parts of the province. There is evidence that there are more boys than girls born in certain parts of Vancouver.
 
I think it’s probably more common that we realize here in the US.

Also, sex selection in IVF is increasingly common and many embryologists tout it as one of their ‘services’ and advantages of IVF. Those are obviously abortions as well.
 
:gopray2: Just pray. That’s the best thing we can do for that family. :bighanky:
 
Some of the replies were quite horrific. Someone said that it was a brave and sensible thing to do.

Unreal.
 
I’ve been hearing about this for close to 20 years. What I find interesting is that it forces some feminists to condemn this practice and shows their moral hypocrisy.
 
I’m going to get a lot of negative responses for this, but if I ever decide to have children and find out I’m pregnant with a boy I will abort and try again. Ideally I would control for this beforehand with sex selection services, but abortion would be a last resort option.

I don’t think I could love or raise a male child.
 
flyingfish said:
I’m going to get a lot of negative responses for this, but if I ever decide to have children and find out I’m pregnant with a boy I will abort and try again. Ideally I would control for this beforehand with sex selection services, but abortion would be a last resort option.

I don’t think I could love or raise a male child.
Click to expand...
Ok, I’ll start. Someone else shouldn’t have to die for YOUR problem. None of us self-created ourselves – we all had to rely on someone else. If you cannot have mercy on your son, why should God have mercy on you? If you cannot love a potential son, why don’t you want to fix the problem within you instead of making someone else die for it?
 
flying fish- but why?? What is wrong with little boys?

When I first got pregnant I was sort of hoping for a little girl. But I had my DS and he is so precious to me. So sweet and loving and adorable. I would never want anything differently.

I don’t understand at all. I mean aside from the obvious issues, I don’t think gender selection is moral and I’m opposed to abortion for any reason but I think a frivolous reason like not wanting a male baby is especially tragic. I have a friend who also says if she ends up with a boy she’ll send him back. I think little boys are wonderful 🤷
 
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