Hi everyone,
I’m new to the forum and wasn’t sure if I should start a new thread. I hope it’s ok for me to write here.
Last month, I found out that I’m pregnant and have been struggling to find someone to speak with who has a theological perspective on what to do. I split up with my ex a few months ago but conceived subsequently when he got back into contact and seemed to genuinely apologise for the way he had treated me. He said that he wanted to commit to me, marry me and that he wanted me to be the mother of his children. I feel completely stupid for believing that he would change without first seeking commitment but the realisation of a situation is often easier in hindsight and, I suppose, when love is not involved. Since then, both the father of the baby and his mother, who are Catholic, have told me to have an abortion. It happened so quickly that I still feel shocked by it. It hurts deeply because I cannot cope with the idea of killing a little life but I’m terrified of coping with all this alone. I’m also devastated because I was brought up as a Catholic and feel very disillusioned with their way of thinking and my faith. My mother has now also advised me to have an abortion because of the father’s reaction and has told me that I should stop being sentimental, think about the quality of life of the baby and that I will be pregnant again in the future but in a good, stable marriage. However, I feel like the only person who has the right to give or take life is God. Then I think about how my life will be and start crying.
I was pressured into making an appointment at an abortion clinic last week and my ex told me he wouldn’t drive me to the consultation unless I went through with the operation. I broke down in the pre-treatment room and told the nurse that everyone wanted me to have an abortion except me and I felt I had no choice. I also said that I felt bad because I had promised I would go ahead with the surgery and didn’t want to upset anyone. She was very supportive and told me I didn’t have to go through with it; that I shouldn’t be pressured and told my ex that the surgeon wouldn’t operate on me simply because I was so emotional. The drive home was horrible and I haven’t heard from the father of the baby since. He’s made me feel bad for not rushing into a permanent decision that I don’t want to make. When I don’t think about what anyone else has suggested and listen to myself, I really feel I want to keep this baby. I want to provide it with everything I had growing up, with lots of love and happiness, but I just don’t know if I can do this when I’m the only one believing in its right to life. I feel like I’ve had to fight (unsuccesfully) for someone to realise that this about a God-given life not just some inconvenient mistake that should be discarded.
I don’t know what to do and have been wanting to speak with a Catholic priest but feel ashamed of my situation. The reaction of my ex and his mum has also really shaken me as the last time I went to church was with both of them. I discovered this forum after searching for Catholic counselling and feel slightly nervous about posting this (especially as I didn’t know whether to post my own thread for my first post).
I look forward to hearing any advice that can be offered, thank you.
