Abortion onlooker

[Roxane]

I had an abortion 9 years ago. It was quite literally the death of me. Soon after I took acid and had a psychotic break. My whole family watched as I became completely disturbed and in horrible pain and misery. I was a confirmed Catholic, and after my abortion I thought that I would 1. Never tell Anyone 2. Never go back to church. I was 20 when this happened. I was almost 21 when I was abusing acid, and all, ironically, being on that drug did, was make me want God. It was all terrible and backwards tho. I displayed schizophrenic ideas such as “being God”. Olny 8 months later I realized how horribly wrong and horribly, almost unforgivably, my thinking had become. I spent the next 8 years trying to get better. I went to confession for my abortion and told my father about it all before I turned 22. Even though I took those steps I was far from being ok. I come from an affluent family, dad is a lawyer. I ended up spending over 6 months in hospitals for psych reasons, eventually ended up on the street. My family saw what had happened to me and I was open about how traumatized I was from my abortion. I have been to Rachel’s vineyard. My story climaxed when I had a suicide attempt where I tried hanging myself in my moms empty house. All of this my siblings watched. There are 10 years between my youngest sister and myself but only 20months between my other sister. The sister I grew up with as a close friend. Although my littler sister was probably kept in the dark about the abortion, the closest one to me was definitely not. I told her. My dad and new step mom knew. These are all very “Catholic” people and although my sister also got pregnant,after me, she kept it and became the one who was celebrated for her decision even though she wasn’t married. 7 years later flash forward. A few weeks ago. Guess what. She had an abortion. She told me she was pregnant. She didn’t tell me she was going for an abortion but I knew it may be an option but I couldn’t believe she would really do it. I came home and the housekeeper had left abortion papers on my stack of things. We live together. I’m so confused and feel like it’s my fault.

 

[Dourbest]

Take a deep breath. Everybody makes mistakes. you clearly feel sorry for the ones you’ve made. Abortion may be horrible, but now you realize that. So while you may not be able to redo the past, do the things in the future differently. Make amends and move on. You can and seemingly have changed and are working on things. These are just what I think.

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

 

[Annie]

What someone else decides to do with no (name removed by moderator)ut from you is not your fault.

I am so sorry you have suffered so much as a result of your abortion. Your story is very sad. I pray that you will feel the loving kindness of God in His forgiveness.

Your sister made her own decision. She did not come to you for help; it is clear that you would never have in any way encouraged her to make that decision.

The only thing you can do is pray for her.

 

[poche]

I will pray for you.