Abortion Story

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StephiePea

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I was in class today (I’m in a medical class), when I overheard a story that made me both angry and sad. A young girl of 19 was saying how she had an abortion when she was 17. She got pregnant and felt she was too young to have a child, so she went and aborted it. Four months later she was pregnant again and was thinking about aborting again, but she was worried about her own safety because she was told the more abortions you have, the greater the risk of dying during the procedure. She had a baby boy 3 months ago. When asked why she didn’t give the first child up for adoption, she said she couldn’t stand thinking that a child of hers was in the world being raised by someone else, so she felt it was better the child not be here at all. I have never come across such a selfish attitude toward human life in my life. I couldn’t say anything because 1) I was so shocked that I probably would have shouted and screamed and looked like a lunitic, and 2) because she sounded so sure and proud that she did the right thing, I didn’t think she would care what I thought about it. What would you have done in my place? What do you think about this situation?
 
StephiePea said:
I was in class today (I’m in a medical class), when I overheard a story that made me both angry and sad. A young girl of 19 was saying how she had an abortion when she was 17. She got pregnant and felt she was too young to have a child, so she went and aborted it. Four months later she was pregnant again and was thinking about aborting again, but she was worried about her own safety because she was told the more abortions you have, the greater the risk of dying during the procedure. She had a baby boy 3 months ago. When asked why she didn’t give the first child up for adoption, she said she couldn’t stand thinking that a child of hers was in the world being raised by someone else, so she felt it was better the child not be here at all. I have never come across such a selfish attitude toward human life in my life. I couldn’t say anything because 1) I was so shocked that I probably would have shouted and screamed and looked like a lunitic, and 2) because she sounded so sure and proud that she did the right thing, I didn’t think she would care what I thought about it. What would you have done in my place? What do you think about this situation?

i don’t know what i would have done given the venue and conditions. Was it sad? yes! should it have made you angry? Yes! How do we change or stop it… one person at a time and with good example… Sad, Sad, Sad… i’m sure you have been haunted by the images of the story and what “you” think you should have done… it’s hard to comment on what i would have done in your place when i wasn’t… i’m just glad you had the compassion to see the wrong of it…

Peace!
 
space ghost:
i don’t know what i would have done given the venue and conditions. Was it sad? yes! should it have made you angry? Yes! How do we change or stop it… one person at a time and with good example… Sad, Sad, Sad… i’m sure you have been haunted by the images of the story and what “you” think you should have done… it’s hard to comment on what i would have done in your place when i wasn’t… i’m just glad you had the compassion to see the wrong of it…

Peace!
She was surrounded by people who were in full agreement with her. I felt outnumbered…and I wasn’t asked how I felt, or I think I would have told them. I wasn’t afraid to say what I believe, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to say it with love…I had such a burning anger inside. I feel guilty that I should have done more and been able to control my anger.
 
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StephiePea:
She was surrounded by people who were in full agreement with her. I felt outnumbered…and I wasn’t asked how I felt, or I think I would have told them. I wasn’t afraid to say what I believe, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to say it with love…I had such a burning anger inside. I feel guilty that I should have done more and been able to control my anger.
sounds like you made the right decision… 👍
 
I agree with Space Ghost. If you couldn’t have said something without bursting into a maniacal rage, then it’s better that you didn’t say anything at all, despite how frustrating it is. Believe me, I’ve been in similar situations (though fortunately I’ve never heard anyone say they’d killed a baby) where I wanted to say something and stand up for the Gospel, but knew that I wouldn’t be able to control my temper, so I said nothing at all. It is very frustrating and I always second-guess myself. But don’t beat yourself up over it too much. Had you flown into a rage, it only would’ve hurt your position in their eyes. Keep this lost soul in your prayers - that’s the best thing you can do in this situation.
 
I sense that you are frustrated because you could not do anything under the circumstances. So consider using it as an opportunity to do something to further your moral beliefs. If you don’t already, then give money to National Right to Life. Or give to a Catholic or other group that supports life or volunteer your time to Birthright. Or something similar. Channel your moral outrage to something positive so you can feel that you are doing something. The first step is the moral outrage. The next step is doing what you can. And certainly pray for her and others like her. They know not what they do.
 
I was in a nearly identical situation with a family member, having nearly the same conversation in the same circumstances, she had her baby, then told us about the abortion 2 years previously. same thing, said she could not bear to have a child raised by strangers. I blurted out, “why didn’t you tell me, I would have raised it gladly, and I am not a stranger?” I told her that I felt part of the guilt was mine, because I failed in our relationship to convey to her that I would help her in case of need like this. She let me know that my husband and I would be the last people she would choose to raise her child, because we would poison their minds with our reactionary fundamentalist religious views. Yes, she too was born and raised Catholic, member of a good strong Catholic family, went to Catholic schools. Blame the 70s.
 
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asquared:
I was in a nearly identical situation with a family member, having nearly the same conversation in the same circumstances, she had her baby, then told us about the abortion 2 years previously. same thing, said she could not bear to have a child raised by strangers. I blurted out, “why didn’t you tell me, I would have raised it gladly, and I am not a stranger?” I told her that I felt part of the guilt was mine, because I failed in our relationship to convey to her that I would help her in case of need like this. She let me know that my husband and I would be the last people she would choose to raise her child, because we would poison their minds with our reactionary fundamentalist religious views. Yes, she too was born and raised Catholic, member of a good strong Catholic family, went to Catholic schools. Blame the 70s.
asquared–It seems your sister is rationalizing her abortion, by saying she could not bear to have a child raised by strangers. (As if killing a child is so much more humane. Certainly, having had an abortion, she stays in control in what she tells people and what they think about her.) Recognize that she is lashing out at you, judging you, and being purposely cruel to respond that she would not want you (and your husband) to raise her child. On some level, she may feel guilty about having had an abortion. Perhaps, she feels guilty that what she did is a sin in the eyes of the Church and as a faithful Catholic, you are a reminder of her sin. I am sure it hurt you nonetheless. Pray for her.

(I see you don’t say it was a sister. Whatever the relationship, my message is the same.)
 
Asquared,
My dil told me the same thing. She said that she would not even give me the chance see my future grandchildren because she has seen how I have corrupted my son and the rest of my family with my Christian faith. Is this relative an avowed atheist too?
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asquared:
She let me know that my husband and I would be the last people she would choose to raise her child, because we would poison their minds with our reactionary fundamentalist religious views. Yes, she too was born and raised Catholic, member of a good strong Catholic family, went to Catholic schools. Blame the 70s.
 
Hi Steph,
I think I would have reacted with tears and said that I found this so sad.

StephiePea[color=magenta said:
** I was so shocked that I probably would have shouted and screamed and looked like a lunitic, and 2) because she sounded so sure and proud that she did the right thing, I didn’t think she would care what I thought about it. What would you have done in my place? What do you think about this situation?**
 
Hey,

I just wanted to say that I am a teenage girl too, and really active in prolife, I think a good response any time someone says they have had an abortion is what you would say if they said the lost a parent or friend. Say “I’m sorry”. its the most natural response to someones loss and it can lead to healing and that is what these women and girls need.

God Bless you!
 
Pray for the unwanted and unloved and pray for the child this child bore. What kind life will he have being borne by a mother who only went through with the pregnacy to avoid the possibility of HER dying?
 
StephiePea,

You might want to find a private moment with the young woman to let her know that you will be there if she wants to talk with you about the situation. Do not be judgemental about what she did – believe me, she will regret her decision eventually and will feel deep, lasting pain. She will certainly see the face of the child she killed every time she looks into the face of the child she let live.

If you come to her with love and understanding, ready to support her, perhaps she will find God through your actions.

Above all, pray for her and for the soul of her lost child.

'thann
 
I just wanted to say that she may not feel so great about it, but may feel that it is something she is supposed to be happy about in society. Trust me. There might be more to the story than she wants anyone to know.
 
I think it’s unwise to directly confront someone about their particular abortion. All you will do is make her defensive. Once that happens, they won’t be open to reason or even charity.

Participate in pro-life activities. The message will reach her eventually if she is open to it.
 
Let’s face it, the baby is just not real to her. Someone else sees it during the abortion, but she doesn’t so it’s not really real. I know that the movement tried using IU photos to bring people around and I think it worked on people like me but it just makes people like her outraged. The worse the guilt, the greater the outrage. After all it’s the worst murder there is in reality! So you go into denial, say you don’t care, avoid thinking about it. Booze and drugs are one way to drown a conscience.
 
monica fan:
Asquared,
My dil told me the same thing. She said that she would not even give me the chance see my future grandchildren because she has seen how I have corrupted my son and the rest of my family with my Christian faith. Is this relative an avowed atheist too?
Dear Monica Fan,
So typical of a liberal to be so close minded. If they don’t believe in Christ, why are they so afraid of Him? I certainly do not feel threatened by the tooth fairy!

F.S. Casey
 
I’ve heard of this kind of attitude many times. It’s the “better to kill it then give it away” phillosophy. I’ve heard young girls actually say that aborting the child was taking responsibility for their actions. As if they never heard of adoption being the responsible thing to do.
 
I’ve heard of this kind of attitude many times. It’s the “better to kill it then give it away” phillosophy. I’ve heard young girls actually say that aborting the child was taking responsibility for their actions. As if they never heard of adoption being the responsible thing to do.
Similar to this and even more common is the ‘better to throw the candy bar in the bin than to watch someone else enjoy consuming it’mentality. Anyone who has a sibling is certainly familiar with this mindset.
 
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