? about birth and grandparent notification

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One thing that piqued my interest in your original post is the whole argument of dilation. If your stepmom is a Nurse Practitioner – she should know more than anyone that dilation prior to labor has absolutely no bearing effect on when the baby will come! You can’t predict birth by dilation when not in labor unless you’re at like a 7 or something. But a 2 or 3? You could go WEEKS that way!!

Might want to have her point that out to him – using her “professional experience.” :tiphat:

Other than that everybody gave you great advice.
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KCtheMommy said:
One thing that piqued my interest in your original post is the whole argument of dilation. If your stepmom is a Nurse Practitioner – she should know more than anyone that dilation prior to labor has absolutely no bearing effect on when the baby will come! You can’t predict birth by dilation when not in labor unless you’re at like a 7 or something. But a 2 or 3? You could go WEEKS that way!!

Might want to have her point that out to him – using her “professional experience.” :tiphat:

Other than that everybody gave you great advice.
👍 👍 👍
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My sister dilated to a 5 before she went into labor (five days after her due date). Conversely, I was dilated to a 1, not effaced, and baby was “very high up” during an internal exam, and I went into labor two days later (and a month BEFORE my due date!).

That’s a funny story, actually – last year my sister and I were both pregnant at the same time. She was due February 20 and I was due March 21st. Well, I ended up going into labor and having my baby first, on February 25.

She was so frustrated (because she was five days late and very ready to be done) when she heard the news that after she hung up, she threw her phone across the room and sobbed for two hours.

Later that day, her water broke. 😃 Her grand plan had been to not tell anyone that she was in labor; she and her husband wanted to wait until after the baby was born to call anyone. But when she and her husband went to the hospital, it was the same one I was at – and all our family was there visiting *me *, so everybody saw them come in and their grand plan was ruined. (Everyone just hung out in the waiting room 'til her baby was born.) My nephew was born almost exactly 24 hours after his cousin. 😛

So sometimes things don’t go quite the way you plan!
 
this whole thread gives a new meaning to the phrase “family planning”
 
For my 1st, I wanted no one but DH and so my mother, sister and all stayed away until called. (They knew I was going in for an induction.)

My MIL (whom I loved) on the other hand, who lived 60 miles away and NEVER drove on the highway, hopped in her car and found us at the hospital. The nurses, without asking (just announcing), let her come in to my room.

I was shocked and annoyed but her timing was good b/c we had just decided to go for the c/s (nothing was happening from the induction meds) and I wasn’t in pain or in labor.

Her excuse: “I had to be where my heart was.” What could we say to that?

I think the only down side was that she got to see my ds before my own mother, but really it was all right.

So, call your Dad if you can trust him or the nurses to keep him out of the room until you want him. Hopefully he will stay home until you are ready for visitors.
 
One thing struck me that nobody else has addressed. Your father missed your birth, because of work. Maybe he feels the need to make up for that, now that you are giving birth?

Would you get some comfort if he was there - but in the waiting room, until you felt up to seeing him? If so, call him and tell him so. Tell him you want him there, but want to share the first time with the baby just with DH. And of course, you want him to be the 2nd one to see the baby. DH can go get him as soon as you’re ready.

That suggestion is “void,” of course, if it would make you nuts thinking he’s hanging around!

Or try saying you’ll call him right after the birth, but wait an hour to call the others?

Last suggestion: have the phone put into the “patient’s belongings” bag, where I’m sure you’ll both forget all about it in the excitement!

God bless you and your little family,

Ruthie
 
Ok, It’s been 16 years since my last child was born and 14 years since I worked as a L&D or Post Partum nurse. Why wasn’t an internal exam done a week before the due date? Was it by choice? Isn’t that still protocol?
 
I didn’t want anyone besides DH (and medical personnel) in the delivery room for the birth or either of my two children. I think my mother felt somewhat hurt by this. After the birth of my first baby I was exhausted. My DH asked the nurses to have visitors wait outside of my room until I woke up from a much needed nap, but my parents ignored the request and woke me up. I knew they were excited to see me and their first grandchild so I didn’t mind too much.

The second time around I wish we hadn’t told my parents that the doctor was inducing labor. Despite telling my mom that I did not want her to come until after the baby was here she came anyways and the nurses let her into the delivery room. I wasn’t very close to delivering though at that point and she went back to work so she was not there for the actual birth. I know she meant well but I really didn’t want to deal with the stress of having my mom in the delivery room while I was in labor. Having a baby without medication is stressful enough.

I wouldn’t have had a problem if she (or my dad) had waited in the waiting room. I really wish they had respected my wishes, but I know they meant well and didn’t mean any harm.
 
Personally, and taking into account his feelings rather than yours (I’m a mum of a 19year old). I would ask DH to ring him once you are settled in labour in the hospital. Believe me, it will give DH something to do and someone to talk to (depending on their relationship).

Having a baby is a family event, and although I understand that we live in and brought up in an individualistic culture of ‘what works for me/us’ and I understand that your feelings* are *important - so are your Dad’s.

It is only since I’ve been a parent that I’ve realised how deeply these things are felt. And really, unless it s power battle, what does it matter if it helps your Dad to relax?

Anyway, God Bless!
 
This was an issue we were facing, too. Everyone and their brother wanted to be there, and I was just :eek: at the thought of anyone but my hubby being with me.

We lucked out when I went into labor in the middle of the night, and it went so fast that we had no time to call anyone until the baby was delivered! Maybe you will be just as lucky. 😉

If not, I would just not call until YOU want to. It’s your birth. It’s your baby. You deserve some relaxing family time before being rushed upon by visitors. Good luck!
 
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