About Detraction?

[Jaypeeto4]

In order for detraction / gossip to be mortally sinful,
what factors have to be present???

I notice that I really do jabber a lot and repeat stories, even unfavorable things
(( though things that are usually generally known by all )) in order to be part of
the conversation and not feel "left out.’ I realize now that this “need to feel
included” is really a character flaw and a bad weakness,
but I’m wondering if I’m guilty of mortal sins??
I never thought that gossip or repeating generally well known facts about a person
(( especially one who is unrepentantly racist or mean spirited )) could possibly be
a sin at all, or at most, no more than venial, but now I’m wondering…
In some of the stories I repeat, if the person is not known and might have repented
in the intervening years, I refuse to divulge the person’s name, to be nice,
but I’m wondering if even that is still “going too far.”

I don’t do it to destroy anyone or, in 99% of cases at least,
tell things about the person that aren’t already pretty much well known.

Any thoughts, catechism citations, moral theologian citations, learned opinions based on such? They’d be greatly appreciated.

I had always heard THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST
THY NEIGHBOR.

I have never heard, as a commandment from God, that thou shalt not under any circumstances tell any lie whatsoever,
and have certainly never heard in scripture any command
to NOT lay bare the faults of an UNrepentant or racist or mean-spirited person, for
example, even by name.

I also, a few weeks ago, to my cousin, revealed some serious past sins of
an aunt. I never did it to turn him against her, though. What had happened was I had heard that she had seriously mistreated and slandered him many times, without provocation ((although she had always been nice to me, as long as I yessed-her-to-death or at least remained silent when she attacked my conservative beliefs in the most vicious of terms and conservative people also in very vicious terms)). Then, in a phone conversation, she started berating Catholics and others for “making war on women’s bodies” (by opposing the HHS mandate) and started berating the church for “raping all those children” and when I disagreed with her attacks on my faith, she ordered me to shut up or else she was going to hang up on me. And she did. So I wrote him and asked him, because I had heard that she had attacked him previously, if that really happened, and I told him some things that I shouldn’t have, in retrospect, told him, although she condemns certain family members for certain sexual sins when, in fact, she committed just as many herself and destroyed marriages, apparently, in the past, whereas those family members she has castigated have, at least, not destroyed any marriages. I mentioned that stuff to him to point out her hypocrisy in her blisteringly attacking my other cousin, his sister, for her current lesbian relationship when she herself has not only committed numerous sins herself in the past, but also supports a president and Party which explicitly and enthusiastically and PRO-actively PROMOTES this behavior that she is, therefore hypocritically, condemning in my cousin’s sister. I wasn’t trying to ruin her, just have an email discussion between two cousins who had been on the receiving end, unexpectedly, of her venom, and had both been genuinely surprised by it.

Now I’m wondering if I sinned mortally in talking about any of this with him. I just truly don’t know. I never intended to destroy anyone in any of these things, just have,
or, at work, be part of, discussions.

Now I want to button my lips and not talk about this kind of stuff at work or with family anymore.

I hope I have not mortally sinned, I certainly didn’t know I might be doing so,
and did not intend to offend the LORD in these things.

God bless all of you and have a wonderful and blessed week ahead !!
Jaypeeto4
+JMJ+

 

[thistle]

CCC 2479 Detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor. Honor is the social witness given to human dignity, and everyone enjoys a natural right to the honor of his name and reputation and to respect. Thus, detraction and calumny offend against the virtues of justice and charity.

CCC 2507 Respect for the reputation and honor of persons forbids all detraction and calumny in word or attitude.

CCC 2477 Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and word likely to cause them unjust injury. He becomes guilty:

• of rash judgment who, even tacitly, assumes as true, without sufficient foundation, the moral fault of a neighbor;

-** of detraction who, without objectively valid reason, discloses another’s faults and failings to persons who did not know them**;

• of calumny who, by remarks contrary to the truth, harms the reputation of others and gives occasion for false judgments concerning them.

Also from the Modern Catholic Dictionary:

DETRACTION. Revealing something about another that is true but harmful to that person’s reputation. It is forbidden to reveal another person’s secret faults or defects, unless there is proportionate good involved. The fact that something is true does not, of itself, justify its disclosure. Detraction is a sin against justice. It robs one of what most people consider more important than riches, since a person has a strict right to his or her reputation whether it is deserved or not. (Etym. Latin detractio, a withdrawal.)