About something a bit unusual

[Templum]

HI,

I’m not sure if I’m too traditional in my way of seeing a priest, but the other day (Sunday), I saw a priest with a young lady…maybe in the 30’s…Shortly after Mass, they walked together in the back of the church where people worship statues. It’s a place where people dedicate prayers to loved ones. Anyhow, they were walking together and the priest looked calm and neutral in his facial expressions (meaning, he wasn’t showing any facial expressions). The lady seemed serene and held his arms like he was escorting her. I’m not used to seeing lay people holding a priest’s arms…It was like he was her boyfriend or family member. Is that normal? I need to say that she is not the same customs as him. I’ve never seen this before. Can a priest allow a lay to hold his arms in public? It doesn’t look normal for me that a lady and priest do this unless they’re relatives. It looked romantic! I need to say that I’ve noticed a lot of people (namely young girls or women of the same culture of the lady) holding hands in public. It could be a cultural thing. However, the priest is from another country. He’s a Westerner and she is an Asian. Could this be just a cultural thing or is the physical contact strange?

Thanks,
Templum

 

[PaulfromIowa]

First of all, Catholics do not worship statues. They may pray before statues of Christ or a Saint.

Holding someone’s arm while he escorts you can be just a courtesy. There is no reason for you to assume that this is anything romantic.

 

[HillbillyHermit]

There are too many unknowns to say much, really. The woman could be grieving or going through some other kind of tough time and is seeking the security/consolation of being near the priest. Some people are just more inclined to be in physical contact with people, with nothing romantic intended.

It’s kinda sad that something like that would be thought of as strange.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

It’s kinda sad that something like that would be thought of as strange.

Yes, so I’m glad the OP decided to talk about it and not jump to conclusions. I like to think, “what are the best and worst” explanations I can think of, and figure I probably have it ranged.

There’s always some minute chance that something is amiss but I don’t think I’d want to know about it unless it reveals itself to me without my trying to find out.

Alan

 

[TheRealJuliane]

HI,

I’m not sure if I’m too traditional in my way of seeing a priest, but the other day (Sunday), I saw a priest with a young lady…maybe in the 30’s…Shortly after Mass, they walked together in the back of the church where people worship statues. It’s a place where people dedicate prayers to loved ones. Anyhow, they were walking together and the priest looked calm and neutral in his facial expressions (meaning, he wasn’t showing any facial expressions). The lady seemed serene and held his arms like he was escorting her. I’m not used to seeing lay people holding a priest’s arms…It was like he was her boyfriend or family member. Is that normal? I need to say that she is not the same customs as him. I’ve never seen this before. Can a priest allow a lay to hold his arms in public? It doesn’t look normal for me that a lady and priest do this unless they’re relatives. It looked romantic! I need to say that I’ve noticed a lot of people (namely young girls or women of the same culture of the lady) holding hands in public. It could be a cultural thing. However, the priest is from another country. He’s a Westerner and she is an Asian. Could this be just a cultural thing or is the physical contact strange?

Thanks,
Templum

I think you could be imagining things. A priest needs to know the customs of the people he will be ministering to, and if physical contact is common, he needs to allow that and not shirk them. And you have no idea if this lady has been counseled for some terrible event and has gotten close to the priest and feels comfortable taking his arm. Some priests are very warm in that way and are just people you want to be close to.

Why do you say Catholics worship statues? That’s not true and sounds as if you aren’t really Catholic since it’s an accusation we get from non-Catholics. We pray to God and to the Saints and we use the statue as a visual reminder. We don’t worship statues.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

… where people worship statues.

… literal accuracy check results abound:

:bigyikes: :bigyikes: :bigyikes:

You’re catching heat; I’m sure you meant “where people worship God, before statues.”

Unless I’m wrong, we can now proceed.

Alan

P.S. I’m good at supplying disclaimers to make statements get passed the sentinels.

P.P.S. I found if I put in disclaimers, nobody reads through them. If I leave them out people say I’m too vague or Just Wrong. Hard to please everyone… :juggle:

 

[MaeganFlinchum1]

Catholic don’t worship statues!!!
And he was probably just escorting her. Do you know if this woman could have possibly been related to him?

 

[Ophelia23]

I will say that I have two great friends who have become priests. We still share with one another intimately-- that is, we still talk, we still exchange hugs or even a kiss on the cheek, we still go out together for dinner on occasion… Priests are still people with relationships, friends and loved ones. It is very important to remember this. It is very possible that this woman is a good friend or even a family member.

 

[Sirach2]

… the other day (Sunday), I saw a priest with a young lady…maybe in the 30’s…Shortly after Mass, they walked together in the back of the church where people worship statues

Was he your pastor?
Had he just celebrated mass in your parish?

Or was he a visiting priest?
Was the lady present for mass also? Did they sit together?
If the latter, there are some clergy who wear collars and belong to other rites where they are permitted to marry.

You left out a lot of particulars here.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I will say that I have two great friends who have become priests. We still share with one another intimately-- that is, we still talk, we still exchange hugs or even a kiss on the cheek, we still go out together for dinner on occasion… Priests are still people with relationships, friends and loved ones. It is very important to remember this. It is very possible that this woman is a good friend or even a family member.

Exactly so. Priests have siblings, parents, cousins, and friends. They are not “Father X” to these people, they are “Richard,” or, “Daniel,” or whatever name they had before they were ordained. Our Cardinal happens to be a twin, and his twin sister gave us lots of background info about him from the POV of being his twin sister. He didn’t stop being her twin brother when he got ordained or even made a cardinal.

I hate it when people assume the worst about our priests.

 

[thequeen]

I have several priest friends that I am totally comfortable in them taking my arm holding my hand and even hugging me. I am in the church fellowship hall now and one of them just walked in and i am getting up right now so he can give me a hug and as several other posters said we do not worship statues.

 

[thequeen]

Exactly so. Priests have siblings, parents, cousins, and friends. They are not “Father X” to these people, they are “Richard,” or, “Daniel,” or whatever name they had before they were ordained. Our Cardinal happens to be a twin, and his twin sister gave us lots of background info about him from the POV of being his twin sister. He didn’t stop being her twin brother when he got ordained or even made a cardinal.

I hate it when people assume the worst about our priests.

So do I especially when there are so many good priests.

 

[HillbillyHermit]

Yes, so I’m glad the OP decided to talk about it and not jump to conclusions. I like to think, “what are the best and worst” explanations I can think of, and figure I probably have it ranged.

There’s always some minute chance that something is amiss but I don’t think I’d want to know about it unless it reveals itself to me without my trying to find out.

Alan

Yup. Assume the best unless you’re absolutely sure of the worst.

 

[Templum]

HI,

First I want to clarify something. I didn’t mean to be insulting to anyone when I talked about worshipping statues…I didn’t at all mean that. I didn’t have the right words at the time to say simply that people may pray before statues of Christ or a Saint. and that statues are visual reminders…I agree with those words more. I didn’t have the exact vocabulary when I wrote the message…sorry for the bad choice of words. I am Catholic, but I’m not fully educated in the Catholic religion, not enough to use religious words perfectly.

The lady, from what I know, has had hardships in her life, so with your interpretations, I now understand the situation better.

Thanks,
Templum

 

[AlanFromWichita]

HI,

First I want to clarify something. I didn’t mean to be insulting to anyone when I talked about worshipping statues…I didn’t at all mean that. I didn’t have the right words at the time to say simply that people may pray before statues of Christ or a Saint. and that statues are visual reminders…I agree with those words more. I didn’t have the exact vocabulary when I wrote the message…sorry for the bad choice of words. I am Catholic, but I’m not fully educated in the Catholic religion, not enough to use religious words perfectly.

The lady, from what I know, has had hardships in her life, so with your interpretations, I now understand the situation better.

Thanks,
Templum

Of course that’s what you meant. Pretty much anybody without an agenda would have seen that. Shakespeare could have written it, and those with nits to pick would have found something in it to sidetrack the whole discussion and discredit you as a hopeless fool with no grasp of reality. Happens in a lot of threads. There’s an element of satisfaction in discrediting the OP; I know this because I’m not immune to doing it myself.

For some reason, “strain out a gnat and swallow the camel,” comes to mind.

You’re catching heat; I’m sure you meant “where people worship God, before statues.”

Unless I’m wrong, we can now proceed.

Some of us had your back. npatrol:

For all the good it did – the very next poster after mine went back to the “let’s get the OP” mantra.

Alan

 

[Templum]

Hi,

I need to add that Alan interpreted me properly in regards to the statues…When you wrote "…] I’m sure you meant “where people worship God, before statues.”, you’re right. You understood my intentions well. By the way, I don’t write often…Writing is work and it’s hard to always find the right words to say what exactly we mean sometimes. It’s a challenge!

I’ll be careful. Although some of you are not in the situation here where I am (more details of course could be seen, if you were here yourselves), some of you still had some inspirational ideas of how to interpret the situation that I spoke about. By the way, from parish to parish, priests don’t all do things the same way. I’ve seen this myself. Depending on customs and personalities, things are done differently. I think that you would agree with that. I’m abroad right now and am exposed to different cultural things which enables me to deepen my own faith.

Take care,
Templum

 

[AlanFromWichita]

You understood my intentions well. By the way, I don’t write often…Writing is work and it’s hard to always find the right words to say what exactly we mean sometimes. It’s a challenge!

I know it’s also a challenge to even remain interested in having a discussion, when the thread keeps getting hijacked away from the topic and toward the way you worded something. And that wording gets harped on. And pounced on… I guess we all think we have to trumpet any mistake we find and “awfulize” it to the worst possible scenarios, and then get totally engulfed in it. I think everybody likes to register themselves into what might remotely become a problem, so that if and when it ever does we can say, “yup, I said that was going to happen.” The less likely it’s true, the bigger the prize if we claim it; therefore, the least likely “actual” problems get the most dive-bombers. Again, straining out the gnat and swallowing the camel.

Back to topic:

Among different cultures, body language also varies. For example, in some countries people stand to debate, with their noses two inches apart. Try that in the US and you will get clobbered. Usher someone in a door before you go in yourself in the US and it’s polite – do the same thing in the middle east and it can be a challenge to the other person’s authority.

Different regions have different customs on what constitutes “normal touching” and what constitutes “there is more to the story.”

Alan