Absentee Husbands at Mass

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I’ve noticed at my parish church, some wives attend Sunday mass without their
husbands. A Catholic co-worker told me the same situation exists at his parish church as well. What is the reason some husbands won’t attend mass with their
wives?
 
Well there are all kinds of reasons.

The husband may not go to Mass at all, with or without the wives. Some might not be Catholic. Some may attend a protestant Church. Some might just not like to go to Mass. Some may be angry with the Church for some reason and therefore refuse to go. Some might not believe in God.

The husband and wife might have reasons for attending different Masses. The husband might be out of town due to business, military service, or other reasons while the wife stays home. The husband may actually be at Mass but serving some role where he needs to be someplace like in the choir loft or in the sanctuary.

There are plenty of possibilities.
 
I don’t know. I have also noticed this, especially when I was in Mexico. In fact, I bet women outnumber men at mass 15 to 1 in my DH’s native parish. My DH goes regularly here in the US, but is the more likely to “not hear the alarm” on Sunday mornings, and in Mexico no amount of my begging can get him to go. I’ve asked him about it, but I just get The Shrug.

I’ll be interested to see these replies.
 
When I was growing up (protestant) in the Midwest few men went to church. Almost evetyone believed in god, but church was seen as a women’s thing. Men tended to stay home and work around the house or farm.
 
Well, I can say in my case, the reason why my husband sometimes doesn’t attend mass when I’m working at mass is because we have a 2.5 year old and a newborn and they can be very hard to handle by yourself. Since I’m cantoring, I can’t be there to help out with the kiddies. He will come with me if my parents go to our church where I work or if they have our older one and he can focus on the newborn. Otherwise, he stays home with the kids and if I’m back in time for him to attend a later mass, he’ll do that.

I know that is the case with some of the other women who attend mass. For others, their husbands work on the weekend, so their husbands either are not able to attend mass or they attend during another time. And as others have mentioned, some wives have husbands who are Protestant or of another faith.
 
Sometimes I go to Mass with just my daughter because my husband has to work every other weekend.
He works full time for the national guard.
 
Hey! Remember the tv show “The Waltons”? Sorry if it’s a bit off topic, but the father never seemed to attend church with the rest of the family. Does anyone remember why?
 
Dear Grasscutter:

He was never baptized; wouldn’t do it because he didn’t believe in all the rules and regulations, many of which were for forms sake. So he followed his own conscience and let others follow theirs. But he was always there when anyone needed him. And once the reverend got into a sticky situation by accident and he went round the whole mountain gently reminding people of their own problems so they would show up at church and at least give the reverend a chance to speak. And, as usual, John Walton, Sr. was right on the money
 
There are many reasons this may happen. It does not mean the husband doesn’t go, however. I rarely see one particular family all together at my parish but usually see the wife and child at one Mass and the husband at another. Several of my in-laws live in the same house but attend different Masses based on their preferences.
 
My dad is the original Catholic in my family (mom’s a convert). He sometimes has work commitments that prevent him from going. Sometimes, he works all week and just ends up sleeping in (not the best, I know). He does go sometimes, but people could easily end up thinking that my father is no longer in the picture.
 
sing4joy said:
Dear Grasscutter:

He was never baptized; wouldn’t do it because he didn’t believe in all the rules and regulations, many of which were for forms sake. So he followed his own conscience and let others follow theirs. But he was always there when anyone needed him. And once the reverend got into a sticky situation by accident and he went round the whole mountain gently reminding people of their own problems so they would show up at church and at least give the reverend a chance to speak. And, as usual, John Walton, Sr. was right on the money
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Thanks for reminding me! 🙂 That brings back memories. I loved that show when I was a kid.
 
I go to mass without my wife. She has not been there since Christmas. And that was the first time in years. I also see that many of the older women are widows.
 
wondrousgnat said:
I go to mass without my wife. She has not been there since Christmas. And that was the first time in years. I also see that many of the older women are widows.
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Like you, I attend without my wife. I attend Mass every Sunday with our 16 year old son. 🙂

Unfortunately, my wife (who once taught grade school Catechism) stopped attending Mass with me about eleven years ago (long story). First she went to the 6:30 am Mass–the one at our Basilica with no music, lots of elderly folks, and in and out in 25 minutes. Then she started to complain about the male hierarchy in the Church, and stopped going altogether about five years ago. Now she goes for funerals and wedding and some holidays. 🤷

I pray that our wives are touched by God’s graces and get themselves back to Church soon!
 
Interesting. I have never noticed this. I go to Mass without my wife, but she is not Catholic.
 
My husband is a fallen-away Catholic, so he doesn’t usually attend Mass with me. It started when we had our son was a toddler, so he would stay home with him. Now that our son is bigger, I’ve been taking him, but I can’t get DH to commit to going. He thinks the Church should allow priests to marry, allow women priests, and that Catholics should support gay marriage. He says he’s not sure what he believes. He does come with us on Christmas and Easter, so I suppose that’s a start.
 
In my family, both parents were Catholic. However, my father was a hotel Chef in Miami Beach, and worked in a time when that job was a 12 hours a day, 7 days a week affair. He would be at work and open the Kitchen by 5:30 AM, get a break from about 1:30 to 4 PM in the afternoon, and then finish around 10:30 to 11 PM.
In those days, pre Vatican II, there was no Saturday Vigil Mass, so, my dad made arrangements for the sous chef (assistant) to open up on Sunday morning, and he would come in after the 6 AM Mass. He did this for over 60 years!
 
My husband was baptized Catholic as a baby but never received the sacraments of first communion, first confession, or confirmation, and was never catechized. He has never been a practicing Catholic and has no desire to do so. We have been convalidated, as it was a prerequisite for me getting baptized.

My husband will go on Christmas and Easter, and on occasion when something big is going on at church. But just as a weekly thing, he never goes. Please pray for my husband and all those who are so close to God and yet still so separated from Him.
 
I’ve spent most of my marriage taking my kids to Mass alone. My husband professed to be a practicing Catholic and value the faith, and he wanted the kids at Mass. He claimed he was too tired, from working all night, to go. I accepted that until I found out he wasn’t too tired after working all night to spend an hour with another woman, and noticed how often he also had time for Scouts with the boys when he’d been up all night working.

So in his case, it was simply that he didn’t like going.

Ironically, now that we’re divorced, he’s returned to church and after spending so much time there alone that people thought I was a single mother…now we sometimes meet at church and sit together as we each arrive with half of the kids, and now that I really am a single mother, people think I’m married. 🤷
 
mexolic said:
I’ve noticed at my parish church, some wives attend Sunday mass without their husbands. A Catholic co-worker told me the same situation exists at his parish church as well. What is the reason some husbands won’t attend mass with their
wives?
Click to expand...
My husband isn’t Catholic. He comes with me at Christmas and Easter and on any “special occasion,” but he doesn’t attend regularly. I, of course, do attend regularly.
 
DH isn’t Catholic, and only attends when he’s not working. His job has him on a crazy schedule. He usually works on Sundays when I go to Mass.12-15 hours days.
 
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