Absolutely horrifying (heads up for parents)

[dkoinzan]

At no time in all of history has there been such access to such near occasion of sin as in our time. Our TV, computer and radio are all portals of depraved sinful behavior. Our children are surrounded in it and they are the fruit of the culture they live in. In our schools, children are truly fed relativism and forced to accept it. The sins may be the same as all those before us, but through technology the near occasion of sin has ballooned. I can no longer take my son to a public mall without soft porn thrown in his face. Sexual toys are advertised on radio. Explicitly sexual songs are blared in Walmart, graphically describing horrifically morbid behavior. Pregnant women are referred to as would be Mothers. Laws are being passed that allow us to kill our unwanted wether old or new. There is a misunderstanding of what it is to sacrifice and suffer. We aren’t suppose to age or get ill and there is a feeling that we are entitled to heaven on earth. Priests are televised world wide directly going against church teaching. Through media, errors that once took centuries to form and spread can be cast in stone within seconds. This is a different time. Relativism surely isn’t knew, but never has been so widely spread, accepted, rewarded, and reinforced. I want better for my children. I want HOLINESS!

 

[duskyjewel]

Well let’s see, I had an alcoholic mom & a dad who said he’d hang himself if I got pregnant out of wedlock. Don’t think that’s called great parenting. He also said that the only reason I wanted to go to university was to sleep around and have an abortion if I got pregnant. No, I don’t think it was healthy fear , it was FEAR, plain and simple. I was not free to make mistakes.

So, since you claimed that all of you were parented the same, all your friends had alcoholic SAHMs and emotionally abusive fathers?

This is the trap of thinking our own personal experiences translate into truth for everyone.

And, I am going to STOP assuming that anyone’s family is normal. Every time I try to make a point, people throw down their trump card of, “Well, look how BAD my family was and all the awful, wierd stuff that went on!” I obviously can’t discuss the impact of parenting with people whose parents were completely dysfunctional.

Sorry for the hijack, OP. What was meant as a passing comment somehow became the crux of a secondary discussion, and I never meant that.

 

[Phemie]

So, since you claimed that all of you were parented the same, all your friends had alcoholic SAHMs and emotionally abusive fathers?

No, but we all had the same general rules we were expected to follow, got the same religious education and we were some of the best students in the school, yet all my friends did drugs and had sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends. Kids will darn well do what they want to do, regardless of how their parents have raised them.

 

[duskyjewel]

No, but we all had the same general rules we were expected to follow, got the same religious education and we were some of the best students in the school, yet all my friends did drugs and had sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends. Kids will darn well do what they want to do, regardless of how their parents have raised them.

This is the most dangerous thinking, and it is SO current! You sound like you are quoting that book *The Nurture Assumption *that came out a few years ago and said parents make absolutely no difference in how their kids grow up. If that is true, why don’t we just drop them off at the government barn at birth? Why does anybody care what is taught in schools? Why does anyone care what is on TV? If nothing we do matters at all to our children, then why do we even try at all?

We all know, deep down, when we are telling ourselves the truth, that parents matter immensely, I would hazard to say definitively, to children. We have the power to help them be emotionally healthy, or to destroy them. We have the power to keep them as physically healthy as possible, or to feed them deep fried **** all the time and never get them medical care and let them watch TV all day. We have the ability to give them good decision-making tools and strategies, and a moral code to back them up, or to sacrifice them to the twin wolves of childish whim and our disgusting media culture.

All kids screw up. All kids make bad choices. But it doesn’t have to be a way of life if parents do their jobs well! For anyone to say parents cannot influence their children in any way… gah, sounds like Planned Parenthood.

 

[Phemie]

This is the most dangerous thinking, and it is SO current! You sound like you are quoting that book *The Nurture Assumption *that came out a few years ago and said parents make absolutely no difference in how their kids grow up. If that is true, why don’t we just drop them off at the government barn at birth? Why does anybody care what is taught in schools? Why does anyone care what is on TV? If nothing we do matters at all to our children, then why do we even try at all?

Never heard of that book and would never abdicate my responsibility to instill values in my children. That said, dealing with families in my work and in my social life has shown me that the best of families with loving, responsible parents will produce nasty kids just as dysfunctional families will produce wonderful kids. Bad things that kids do is not necessarily a direct result of bad parenting. Peer pressure is a force to be reckoned with and can easily wipe out years of proper parenting.

In the same way, just because you pray at home and take your kids to Church on a regular basis and have them receive all the sacraments in no way guarantees that they will keep going to Church or even believing in God once they leave your house. Otherwise there would be a lot more teens and young adults at Mass on any given Sunday.

 

[duskyjewel]

If you read my posts, you’ll see I never said anything was a guarantee. We all have free will, including kids, and we all use it badly at times. But your statement, “Kids will darn well do what they want to do, regardless of how their parents have raised them,” is a blanket dismissal of the ability of parents to have any effect on their children’s choices. That is where I just cannot agree with you. Maybe I am too optimistic, or maybe your life and work experience has made you too pessimistic, about family dynamics. I suppose we’ll never really know.