Absolution after abortion

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PenitentConvert

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I posed this question in the AAA forum, but as I need some help ASAP I thought I’d post it here as well.

Here is my situation: I am going to be brought into full communion with the church this Easter, and I need to make my first confession - the sooner the better. The prospect has me completely terrified because when I was 16 years old I had an abortion. I have regretted it ever since. At the time I was young and scared that my parents would throw me out on the streets if they found out I was pregnant, and I felt pressured by my boyfriend (to get an abortion) also. Still, I was not FORCED to do it, and I did it anyway. I cannot blame anyone but myself for my actions.

Emotionally I think I have come to terms with this a long time ago (I am now in my late 30’s) but I have this horrible sin on my soul. I worry that the priest will not grant me absolution - what then?

I have been told that the only sin that cannot be forgiven is one that you are not sorry for. Is this true? I was afraid to ask my catechist about this because I’m ashamed of what I did all those years ago.

I appreciate any advice any of you can give me. I’m in quite a tizzy at this point and I need to do this as soon as I can.

Thank you in advance.
 
PenitentConvert said:
I posed this question in the AAA forum, but as I need some help ASAP I thought I’d post it here as well.

Here is my situation: I am going to be brought into full communion with the church this Easter, and I need to make my first confession - the sooner the better. The prospect has me completely terrified because when I was 16 years old I had an abortion. I have regretted it ever since. At the time I was young and scared that my parents would throw me out on the streets if they found out I was pregnant, and I felt pressured by my boyfriend (to get an abortion) also. Still, I was not FORCED to do it, and I did it anyway. I cannot blame anyone but myself for my actions.

Emotionally I think I have come to terms with this a long time ago (I am now in my late 30’s) but I have this horrible sin on my soul. I worry that the priest will not grant me absolution - what then?

I have been told that the only sin that cannot be forgiven is one that you are not sorry for. Is this true? I was afraid to ask my catechist about this because I’m ashamed of what I did all those years ago.

I appreciate any advice any of you can give me. I’m in quite a tizzy at this point and I need to do this as soon as I can.

Thank you in advance.
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Conratulations on joining the Church!

Don’t worry, as long as you are repentent, you will be forgiven.

Find a good, faithful priest and confess all your sins. Make an appointment, since your first confession will likely be a long one. Go to confession behind the screen if the privacy would make you feel better (I always use the booth/screen).

As long as you confess all mortal sins that you can recall (not specific instances, just type of sins and approximate frequency) ALL your sins, even those you may not recall will be absolved.

God Bless
 
Any sin you are truly sorry for, and which you confess honestly and fully, will be absolved.

Can I also recommend Rachel’s Vineyard, an organization that offers compassionate post-abortion counseling? Here is their website: rachelsvineyard.org/
 
bilop had already answered, so I just wanted to say “Congratulations and Welcome Home!”. Repent and be at peace for God is mercy.
 
Welcome home!!!

Confession is a wonderful sacrement (they all are) - it is one of healing. Talk to your priest - tell him about your sins and tell him what you are worried about (ie why you are worried that he would not absolve you). I can just about guarentee that you will feel wonderful after you are through.

Seconds on the Rachel’s Vineyard - you can also check w/your diocese to see if there are any retreats coming up.
 
PenitentConvert said:
I posed this question in the AAA forum, but as I need some help ASAP I thought I’d post it here as well.

Here is my situation: I am going to be brought into full communion with the church this Easter, and I need to make my first confession - the sooner the better. The prospect has me completely terrified because when I was 16 years old I had an abortion. I have regretted it ever since. At the time I was young and scared that my parents would throw me out on the streets if they found out I was pregnant, and I felt pressured by my boyfriend (to get an abortion) also. Still, I was not FORCED to do it, and I did it anyway. I cannot blame anyone but myself for my actions.

Emotionally I think I have come to terms with this a long time ago (I am now in my late 30’s) but I have this horrible sin on my soul. I worry that the priest will not grant me absolution - what then?

I have been told that the only sin that cannot be forgiven is one that you are not sorry for. Is this true? I was afraid to ask my catechist about this because I’m ashamed of what I did all those years ago.

I appreciate any advice any of you can give me. I’m in quite a tizzy at this point and I need to do this as soon as I can.

Thank you in advance.
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You don’t need to worry. As the scriptures say the only unforgivable sin is that which is against the Holy Spirit. That is basically a sin of unrepentance. Look at saint Paul. He was a murderer but recieved forgiveness for his sins. We are all sinners and Christ forgives us.
 
PenitentConvert said:
I posed this question in the AAA forum, but as I need some help ASAP I thought I’d post it here as well.

Here is my situation: I am going to be brought into full communion with the church this Easter, and I need to make my first confession - the sooner the better. The prospect has me completely terrified because when I was 16 years old I had an abortion. I have regretted it ever since. At the time I was young and scared that my parents would throw me out on the streets if they found out I was pregnant, and I felt pressured by my boyfriend (to get an abortion) also. Still, I was not FORCED to do it, and I did it anyway. I cannot blame anyone but myself for my actions.

Emotionally I think I have come to terms with this a long time ago (I am now in my late 30’s) but I have this horrible sin on my soul. I worry that the priest will not grant me absolution - what then?

I have been told that the only sin that cannot be forgiven is one that you are not sorry for. Is this true? I was afraid to ask my catechist about this because I’m ashamed of what I did all those years ago.

I appreciate any advice any of you can give me. I’m in quite a tizzy at this point and I need to do this as soon as I can.

Thank you in advance.
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I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I have taught high school for many years and seen the pressure on girls to hide pregnancies, abortion being one of the “outs”…
That being said. Confession is for YOU - it is a GIFT that we are given and not only will your sin be forgiven, but you will be released from all the pain and guilt that you carry. I have heard many priests say, after years of service, that there is not a commandment they have not heard broken…an abortion will not surprise, shock, or disappoint your pastor, have no fear. You are confessing to Jesus and He already knows…Beyond confession, look into Project Rachel - it is a Church sponsored group that helps women heal from abortions…if you are in a place of peace, perhaps you can help others get there…
 
PenitentConvert said:
I posed this question in the AAA forum, but as I need some help ASAP I thought I’d post it here as well.

Here is my situation: I am going to be brought into full communion with the church this Easter, and I need to make my first confession - the sooner the better. The prospect has me completely terrified because when I was 16 years old I had an abortion. I have regretted it ever since. At the time I was young and scared that my parents would throw me out on the streets if they found out I was pregnant, and I felt pressured by my boyfriend (to get an abortion) also. Still, I was not FORCED to do it, and I did it anyway. I cannot blame anyone but myself for my actions.

Emotionally I think I have come to terms with this a long time ago (I am now in my late 30’s) but I have this horrible sin on my soul. I worry that the priest will not grant me absolution - what then?

I have been told that the only sin that cannot be forgiven is one that you are not sorry for. Is this true? I was afraid to ask my catechist about this because I’m ashamed of what I did all those years ago.

I appreciate any advice any of you can give me. I’m in quite a tizzy at this point and I need to do this as soon as I can.

Thank you in advance.
Click to expand...
My sister is a Catholic and had an abortion when she was a teenager. She recieved absolution. There is no reason why you cant receive absoulution and I would not worry about it. Padre Pio had a girl confess her sins to him, but she forgot to admit the abortion. Being he could read souls, he told her she couldnt receive absolution until she really thought deep into her sins. He wanted her to remember. She did, went to confession again and he absolved her. So this is a situation where you can see, they want you to confess that sin, they want to give absolution.
The only sin not forgiven according to Jesus in the bible is blasphemy of the holy spirit. As far as being sorry, there is non perfect contrition and perfect contrition. Non perfect means that you are confessing and are sorry because you are afraid of hell and punishment. Perfect contrition is confessing and being sorry because of pure love for God. Both receive absolution. The degree of our regret and perfect or non perfect contrition is in accord with time in purgatory. One more thing Padre Pio said…Most people say you confess a sin one time and its forgiven. It is true, if your sorry. But St Pio said if you feel the need to confess a sin more than once, than do so.

Alicia B
 
I assure you that you are condeming yourself more than the priest hearing your confession ever will. You are not the first person to confess this. I encouraged a friend of mine who was Catholic and who had an abortion to go to confession and it was a very powerful healing experience for her. How good is God that he has brought you home to his church so that you can receive absolution. Understanding and compassion are wonderful but absolution is powerful.
Be courageous.
Ms. Cilantro
 
PenetitantConvert:

While you said that you “Emotionally I think I have come to terms with this”, it is obvious that you still suffer from it. But this is exactly the fruit that comes from the Sacrament of RECONCILIATION: Peace and understanding that nothing you can do is unforgivable, that God loves you perfectly and unconditionally, and that only true Peace comes from God. The greater we suffer from our sins, the greater the fruits when we take them to our Lord.

I’m so impressed that you don’t blame others for your act. It shows you have been graced by God. Satan likes us to think that fault lies with another because it prevents us from going to God w/ contrition. Because of the deep emotions and contrition that you feel, I suggest that you ask that your first Confession be privately scheduled. This will allow both of you to feel that you have no time limits. Sometimes when I feel a need for a more intensive Confession, I don’t go during times when others will be waiting.

The advice to contact Rachel’s Vineyard or any of its derivatives (local Catholic organization formed to deal w/ the aftermath of abortion) is good. Not all across the country are named after St. Rachel. Even after you have recieved full absolution from Christ, you may still feel a need to deal with it from a temporal standpoint. This might provide the opportunity.
 
Thank you all so very much for your kind replies. I have been wound so tight worrying about this I can hardly think straight. I was aware about the penalty of excommunication for a Catholic woman who has an abortion, but I really had no idea what to expect in my own situation. My catechist told me to confess mostly sins I struggle with currently, rather than going over all the past with a fine tooth comb, but did say that the exception was if I had had an abortion, which I had to confess regardless of when it happened.

I have just had this horrible fear the priest might tell me I’d have to do a year of penance or something before being allowed to become fully Catholic.

I am scared but I’m trusting the Lord to see me through this, come what may. I know that God already knows everything about me, and I get the feeling that He’s waiting for me to “meet Him halfway”, as it were, and to do this.

Thank you all so much and I appreciate any prayers you can throw my way.
 
Coming from a convert, it’s normal to be scared. I was terrified b/4 my first confession. How do you summarize 40 years of stuff? I floated out of the confessional afterwards, though.

Don’t stress about it and enjoy this time. Easier said than done,but it is so worth it… .:dancing: :dancing:
 
I wanted to add this also, especially with all the Rachel’s Vineyard recommendations…

Obviously this has not been my only serious sin over the years, and in my late teens/early 20s I lived a pretty sinful life. When I was 20 I again became pregnant. I was in a very supportive relationship and my bf & I decided to give up our baby for adoption. (I guess being a little older & wiser abortion was NOT an option…) It was an experience that completely changed my life and began to turn things around for me as far as sin/repentance & my relationship with God go.

When people heard we were giving the baby up, so mnay said to me “oh at least you’re not having an abortion!” Yeah, lots of mixed feelings there. I ddn’t think I deserved any praise. I felt like this was the least I could do to atone. One child died, and one child lived. I love them both.

I don’t know if Rachel’s Vineyard would be for me - I really do feel that I’ve worked through those issues. Anyway, my point is that because I have this sort of unusual background/situation, I hope in future to work with some sort of crisis pregnancy or abortion alternatives ministry or apostolate. I haven’t been able to do so yet but I hope that will change soon.
 
(name removed by moderator)'s information does not apply in this case of OP, and furthermore, source, attribution and link were not provided.

OP was not Catholic when this sad incident occurred, and she was a minor. Neither a minor nor a non-Catholic can incur the penalty of excommunication. Her confession can be heard by any priest and her absolution will be complete and valid. Furthermore bishops in most countries HAVE given the faculty to their priests to lift the penalty from those who have incurred it by abortion. (name removed by moderator) should check her facts.

Welcome home, to OP, and I cannot recommend highly enough a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat for true healing. you also were the victim of this violent act, all the sadder for the part played by your parents and boyfriend. confession will take away any part of the sin that was yours, but healing is still needed, which always comes through the Eucharist, but the RV retreat is a powerful experience.

yes by all means confess current sins and current sinful habits and conditions, but you are obliged to confess all sins of your past life, including this one that is most troubling to you. again, welcome home, and we will be praying for you as you approach the peace and joy of this beautiful sacrament.
 
The canonical penalty of excommunication latae sententiae does not occur when the person is below 17 years of age.
Can. 1323 No one is liable to a penalty who, when violating a law or precept:
1° has not completed the sixteenth year of age
2° was, without fault, ignorant of violating the law or precept; inadvertence and error are equivalent to ignorance;
3° acted under physical force, or under the impetus of a chance occurrence which the person could not foresee or if foreseen could not avoid;
4° acted under the compulsion of grave fear, even if only relative, or by reason of necessity or grave inconvenience, unless, however, the act is intrinsically evil or tends to be harmful to souls;
5° acted, within the limits of due moderation,* in lawful self-defense or defense of another against an unjust aggressor;
6° lacked the use of reason, without prejudice to the provisions of cann. 1324, §1, n. 2 and 1325;
7° thought, through no personal fault, that some one of the circumstances existed which are mentioned in nn. 4 or 5.;
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The OP was sixteen at the time (thus had not competed her sixteenth year of age, so she was never excommunicated.
 
puzzleannie said:
(name removed by moderator)'s information does not apply in this case of OP, and furthermore, source, attribution and link were not provided.

OP was not Catholic when this sad incident occurred, and she was a minor. Neither a minor nor a non-Catholic can incur the penalty of excommunication. Her confession can be heard by any priest and her absolution will be complete and valid. Furthermore bishops in most countries HAVE given the faculty to their priests to lift the penalty from those who have incurred it by abortion. (name removed by moderator) should check her facts.

Welcome home, to OP, and I cannot recommend highly enough a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat for true healing. you also were the victim of this violent act, all the sadder for the part played by your parents and boyfriend. confession will take away any part of the sin that was yours, but healing is still needed, which always comes through the Eucharist, but the RV retreat is a powerful experience.

yes by all means confess current sins and current sinful habits and conditions, but you are obliged to confess all sins of your past life, including this one that is most troubling to you. again, welcome home, and we will be praying for you as you approach the peace and joy of this beautiful sacrament.
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puzzleannie beat me to it, but she is is very correct. A minor cannot iuncur excommunication, and as there was force, well then. Even if there was an excommunication, WHICH THERE IS NOT, most priest in the United States have been granted the ppower to lift this particular one in the confessional.

I just want to say WELCOME HOME, confess the sin but don’t worry, and when you are ready, Rachel’s Vinyard is a wonderful resource.
 
Well, sir, Brendan quoted the Code of Canon Law of 1983. Pretty authorotative in my opinion.

One of the sources of the information on priests being able to lift this in the confessional is EWTN. Another is Catholic Answers.

You might have not given out incorrect facts, but you omitted the fact that nobody under17 can incur excommunication at this point in time. You also omitted that non-Catholics are not bound by the laws of the Church until they are received into the Church.
 
OutinChgoburbs said:
One of the sources of the information on priests being able to lift this in the confessional is EWTN. Another is Catholic Answers.

SCOM is correct in that this authority lies with the Ordinary of the Diocese, but the Ordinary may delegate this authority to his priests. I am unaware of any bishop in the US that has NOT had delegated this authority to his priests .

But without that authority being delgated, the priest cannot lift an excommunication latae sententiae resulting from a direct act of abortion
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To the ORginal Poster.

I just want you to know that I am praying for you…there are millions of women who are suffering from the guilt of abortion. Trust in Jesus and his mercy. he loves you…If I may suggest to you the website RACHELS VINYARD if you need assistance. There is chapters all over the united states for women who may be grieving from a past abortion…even in the distant past.

GOD BLESS YOU!
 
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