Abstinence in marriage

[Bluegoat]

Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate it.

On another interesting note, my wife may have ovulated 6 weeks post partum. On a rather scary note, it was our wedding aniversary on Friday so…

We are fairly confident that if she is ovulating, it was today, which puts us well out of the possible range of Friday. In which case this is fairly good news. It means she is ovulating again.

Although she is exclusivly bfing, we had a really nice date on Friday, and this last week has been very relaxing. I also got her a 14 year old babysitter, so she she has three hours in the day when she can relax with our 6 week old.

I think he anovulatory phases were due to excessive stress. I feel confident the she can have fairly normal cycles if we just focus on a positive attitude, and I she does all that she can to relax.

God bless,
Ut

God bless,
Ut

Stress can indeed be a big issue, so figuring out how to lessen it is a good plan. You might even take a period of abstinence in that spirit - a limited period to just step out of having to worry about whether you could concieve or not. In that light, the difficult parts might seem to fall away a bit.

If you are looking for another good method, I seem to have hit on one, my dh has gone to Sable island until Christmas. There isn’t really any way around that kind of abstinence.

 

[utunumsint]

Stress can indeed be a big issue, so figuring out how to lessen it is a good plan. You might even take a period of abstinence in that spirit - a limited period to just step out of having to worry about whether you could concieve or not. In that light, the difficult parts might seem to fall away a bit.

If you are looking for another good method, I seem to have hit on one, my dh has gone to Sable island until Christmas. There isn’t really any way around that kind of abstinence.

What’s he doing there? Taking care of the horses? Talk about a nice place to spend the next three months!

Yes, abstinence is definititly on the menu until we are confident on her cylces. Having another baby right now could seriously harm her health, and our marriage.

God bless,
Ut

 

[utunumsint]

Are you talking about next week Friday? If so, good. If you are talking about tomorrow Friday, you need 3 1/2 days after ovulation to wait.

We took a risk the Friday that has just passed. She noticed some spotting (bleeding) on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday which is fairly common with women in their sixth week post partum, but is also associated with the estrogen dip just before ovulation.

God bless,
Ut

 

[agapewolf]

What’s he doing there? Taking care of the horses? Talk about a nice place to spend the next three months!

Yes, abstinence is definititly on the menu until we are confident on her cylces. Having another baby right now could seriously harm her health, and our marriage.

Ut

We took a risk the Friday that has just passed. She noticed some spotting (bleeding) on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday which is fairly common with women in their sixth week post partum, but is also associated with the estrogen dip just before ovulation.

Ut

Seriously harm her health, but you took a risk? What?

I don’t know what method you are using, but when there is a peak/ovulation day, one must wait 3 1/2 days at least.

 

[utunumsint]

Seriously harm her health, but you took a risk? What?

It was our aniversary. Stupid. I know.

I don’t know what method you are using, but when there is a peak/ovulation day, one must wait 3 1/2 days at least.

The issues is whether our comming together as husband and wife last Friday could lead to a pregnancy. There is a possibility that she may have ovulated earlier than Wednesday. In which case, there was a risk.

God bless,
Ut

 

[mrpathetic]

But the abstinence wasn’t entered into jointly…this is not what the OP was talking about at all. I agree with the other posters who said there is more going on with your marriage than just abstinence.

Agreed. There is a fundamental difference between my situation, and that of the OP. I added my story to this discussion, so that the OP can realize some of the negative effects of permanent, or semi-permanent, abstinence in marriage.

For a great many years, I tried to restart my sex life with my spouse, after it had stopped. It resulted in constant rejection, which only made our marriage worse. And it had a devastating effect on my self-esteem and self-respect. It made me feel totally emasculated.

Eventually, I discerned that Christ no longer wanted me to have a sex life. I am to focus on prayer, acts or charity, and my ministerial responsibilities instead. I discerned that this was a burden that Christ wanted me to carry. So now I carry it, day after day, year after year.

It doesn’t get any easier, as the years go by. The cross didn’t get any lighter for Christ, as He neared the top of Mount Calvary.

UT, don’t do this to your marriage. If there is any licit way, to continue your sex life with your spouse, then do it. **Don’t end up like me: a 44-year old man who hasn’t had sex since the start of the Clinton Administration. **

 

[materdequint]

Not having cycles when you are nursing typically means you are not ovulating. Yes we’ve all heard of the freak stories of someone getting pregnant 2 months post partum while breastfeeding, but it is rare. I generally have 8 months of lactational ammenorrhea - and I even worked and pumped and the baby took formula. I could’t get pregnant if I tried - and when I am ovulating I get pregnant the first cycle we don’t abstain - 6 kids, so I know I am highly fertile. The last thing I would want to do is nurse less, because a return of cycles, regular or not means a return of FERTILITY and abstinence if you don’t want to get pregnant. If you are not cycling you can have sex whenever you want. You can watch for signs of an impending ovulation. Sometimes you can ovulate before you bleed - but there are typically cervical and mucus signs. I’m actually kind of bummed when I start regular cycles - even though it is easy to know for sure when I am fertile.