Absurd post-Confirmation OCD

[fons_vitae]

Disclaimer: I actually do have OCD, but usually not on religious subjects.

I was absolutely sure I was confirmed last year, and thus brought into the Church… until recently, when pondering my confirmation, I realized that I couldn’t exactly recall the words the priest said when he was confirming me. Logically, I know that this is ridiculous, since he went through everything else by the book and he confirmed many others too that same night. As I worried about it, I even recalled thinking about being sealed, him saying “Holy Spirit,” and so forth.

So, ironically, I’m 99% sure that I was confirmed (probably even surer than my baptism, since the priest was right there)… and yet, the thought of it somehow being invalid keeps recurring.

What should I do about this odd form of scrupulosity?

 

[Spirithound]

Disclaimer: I actually do have OCD, but usually not on religious subjects.

I was absolutely sure I was confirmed last year, and thus brought into the Church… until recently, when pondering my confirmation, I realized that I couldn’t exactly recall the words the priest said when he was confirming me. Logically, I know that this is ridiculous, since he went through everything else by the book and he confirmed many others too that same night. As I worried about it, I even recalled thinking about being sealed, him saying “Holy Spirit,” and so forth.

So, ironically, I’m 99% sure that I was confirmed (probably even surer than my baptism, since the priest was right there)… and yet, the thought of it somehow being invalid keeps recurring.

What should I do about this odd form of scrupulosity?

Dear friend, all the evidence that you could possibly gather is right there in the front of your mind. Please say a prayer and be at peace. Do you regularly see a psychologist?

 

[Vico]

Disclaimer: I actually do have OCD, but usually not on religious subjects.

I was absolutely sure I was confirmed last year, and thus brought into the Church… until recently, when pondering my confirmation, I realized that I couldn’t exactly recall the words the priest said when he was confirming me. Logically, I know that this is ridiculous, since he went through everything else by the book and he confirmed many others too that same night. As I worried about it, I even recalled thinking about being sealed, him saying “Holy Spirit,” and so forth.

So, ironically, I’m 99% sure that I was confirmed (probably even surer than my baptism, since the priest was right there)… and yet, the thought of it somehow being invalid keeps recurring.

What should I do about this odd form of scrupulosity?

If it is buggin’ you, you can order a copy of the sacramental record from the church rectory where you were confirmed.

 

[1ke]

What should I do about this odd form of scrupulosity?

You should bring it to your therapist as soon as possible.

 

[Rainaldo]

Something I don’t understand about people with OCD: Why is it always after the fact?

If you knew ahead of time that you were getting confirmed, why didn’t you have a friend take a cell-phone video of it so that you would have objective proof that it actually happened? Why didn’t you pay close attention to what the bishop said?

You had the chance and the means to eliminate all doubt, but you did not.

It’s almost as if you created the doubt yourself in the first place.

I’m just asking, because I just don’t get it.

 

[JimG]

Forget about it. You are confirmed.

I could be wrong, but I never heard about any of these sorts of worries when all the sacraments were celebrated in Latin. No one ever second guessed their priest’s absolution, confirmation, or anything else. Does English cause more OCD?

 

[fons_vitae]

Thank you all for your replies, but I have to address this one first:

If you knew ahead of time that you were getting confirmed, why didn’t you have a friend take a cell-phone video of it so that you would have objective proof that it actually happened?

You had the chance and the means to eliminate all doubt, but you did not.

Because I didn’t know that I would be afflicted with an unexpected bout of mental illness that would require said proof (if such proof would actually dispel the irrational doubt created by OCD). By the way, I’m already on medication, so this shouldn’t have even occurred to this extent…

Also, it’s difficult to argue with mental illness… you don’t ask somebody undergoing a panic attack to merely man up, for instance, and then rebuke them for having had the chance to avoid it . (“Well, if you’re scared of open spaces, just never go outside again… duh!”)

Why didn’t you pay close attention to what the bishop said?

It was the priest who confirmed me, with the bishop’s chrism. Read the original post before berating the poster, if you please.

 

[fons_vitae]

Dear friend, all the evidence that you could possibly gather is right there in the front of your mind. Please say a prayer and be at peace. Do you regularly see a psychologist?

I used too see one more regularly… money’s tight at the moment, though.

 

[fons_vitae]

Forget about it. You are confirmed.

I realize this now… it’s just a passing emotion that no doubt caused this.

 

[zab]

What should I do about this odd form of scrupulosity?

We each have our own cross or crosses to bear. Take up your cross, embrace it and follow Christ. Do not let your sufferings be for nought. Make use of it and offer it up in union with Christ’s suffering for whatever intentions you may have.

 

[JimG]

I realize this now… it’s just a passing emotion that no doubt caused this.

I realize that such advice as mine is more easily given than followed. As you said above, it’s difficult to reason with a mental condition, or even with a phobia such as agoraphobia or acrophobia. The unreasonableness is part of the problem. Still, I don’t really have any other advice than to accept at a rational level that your confirmation is valid, while also accepting that the OCD may insist otherwise. The OCD will insist at an emotional level that something wasn’t done correctly. The emotion may be persistent, and not passing, but it has no bearing on the actual validity of the sacrament.

 

[Rainaldo]

Because I didn’t know that I would be afflicted with an unexpected bout of mental illness that would require said proof (if such proof would actually dispel the irrational doubt created by OCD). By the way, I’m already on medication, so this shouldn’t have even occurred to this extent…

Also, it’s difficult to argue with mental illness… you don’t ask somebody undergoing a panic attack to merely man up, for instance, and then rebuke them for having had the chance to avoid it . (“Well, if you’re scared of open spaces, just never go outside again… duh!”)

Sounds like if it’s not one thing it will be another. Do you have a problem with confession or the rosary? (both can be OCD nightmares)

It was the priest who confirmed me, with the bishop’s chrism. Read the original post before berating the poster, if you please.

Well I’m not scrupulous about a poster’s exact words

 

[agnes_therese]

I could be wrong, but I never heard about any of these sorts of worries when all the sacraments were celebrated in Latin. No one ever second guessed their priest’s absolution, confirmation, or anything else. Does English cause more OCD?

Please let’s not blame the vernacular for scrupulosity, too!

 

[JimG]

Please let’s not blame the vernacular for scrupulosity, too!

I’m not blaming it. I just don’t recall many people, even the scrupulous, wondering if the priest used the correct words back then.
I do hear that now.

 

[LilyM]

I’m not blaming it. I just don’t recall many people, even the scrupulous, wondering if the priest used the correct words back then.
I do hear that now.

It’s not that there’s more scrupulosity, it’s just that it can have different manifestations now. And people who didn’t know Latin would probably just accept that there was no way of checking, and so not dwell on it for that reason.

Having said which - I wonder if you could ask someone who was confirmed with you (don’t know if you keep in touch), or even the priest himself, what words he used/uses. Just phrase it as a general question: “I was talking to someone about my confession, and realises that for the life of me I can’t remember exactly what the priest says when he is confirming someone - how does it go again?”

 

[fons_vitae]

Having said which - I wonder if you could ask someone who was confirmed with you (don’t know if you keep in touch), or even the priest himself, what words he used/uses. Just phrase it as a general question: “I was talking to someone about my confession, and realises that for the life of me I can’t remember exactly what the priest says when he is confirming someone - how does it go again?”

Already on it… fortunately, my godfather’s wife is in my Facebook friends (he was called in as a last minute confirmation sponsor ).

 

[fons_vitae]

Sounds like if it’s not one thing it will be another. Do you have a problem with confession or the rosary? (both can be OCD nightmares)

Oddly enough, I’m not that bad with confession… I unfortunately find the Rosary repetitive, unless it’s a Scriptural Rosary… Always liked spiritual readings and novenas, though. Sorry if I sounded irritable earlier.

 

[agnes_therese]

It’s not that there’s more scrupulosity, it’s just that it can have different manifestations now. And people who didn’t know Latin would probably just accept that there was no way of checking, and so not dwell on it for that reason.

My thought exactly. Also, it was a different time, and trusting authority was much more of a habit. Now the habit is to question any authority. Not that questioning authority is always bad, but as a habitual frame of mind, it changes your whole worldview.

AND there weren’t internet forums to go to for questions about your scrupulosity . . .

 

[JimG]

My thought exactly. Also, it was a different time, and trusting authority was much more of a habit. Now the habit is to question any authority. Not that questioning authority is always bad, but as a habitual frame of mind, it changes your whole worldview.

AND there weren’t internet forums to go to for questions about your scrupulosity . . .

When it comes to scrupulosity, it would seem that asking questions only makes it worse.

 

[superamazingman]

Forget about it. You are confirmed.

I could be wrong, but I never heard about any of these sorts of worries when all the sacraments were celebrated in Latin. No one ever second guessed their priest’s absolution, confirmation, or anything else. Does English cause more OCD?

Another reason to return to latin.