M
Mieta
Guest
Why does the church exclude ministerial sex abuse victims from holding support groups on church grounds?
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K
kristie_m
Guest
This may be a call of the individual pastor. Why not check with the diocese and see what is already available, rather than trying to start a new one?
M
Mieta
Guest
The bishop will not allow one. No one wished to say why. I feel rather sad about it. We offer all kinds of groups, but none for abuse survivors. I called around to other dioceses, and they said the same thing without an explanation as to why.
C
Corki
Guest
You haven’t given enough information to answer. Is this a group of parishioners who just want meeting space or is this a local branch of one of the national organizations? Often the parish or diocese has guidelines about the use of Church property for meetings. As long as the group follows the guidelines, and is not disruptive, most parishes will allow meetings.Why does the church exclude ministerial sex abuse victims from holding support groups on church grounds?
If this is a local branch of one of the national groups, you should be aware that some of those national groups that were originally formed to support sex abuse victims took on other agendas and caused a lot of problems in some dioceses. You may be feeling the consequences of poor choices by those who went before.
Good luck.
M
Mieta
Guest
No, it is not appart of one of the national organzations that youn mention. It is just a local group and they are all Catholic. I guess I am just amazed at why more effort would not be made to help with the healing in a way that the group has declared would be helpfull. It seems unjust. I think of the Beautitudes and it doesn’t make any sense.
C
Corki
Guest
Is it possible that the diocese just doesn’t see a need for an additional group? I don’t know if you are in the US, but every diocese that I know of here has support groups and services for abuse victims in place. I am not sure what kind of abuse your group addresses. In my diocese, for example, there is a notice in every issue of the diocisan newspaper about the availability of these services.No, it is not appart of one of the national organzations that youn mention. It is just a local group and they are all Catholic. I guess I am just amazed at why more effort would not be made to help with the healing in a way that the group has declared would be helpfull. It seems unjust. I think of the Beautitudes and it doesn’t make any sense.
M
Mieta
Guest
I found that this diocese tells people that there is a support group, but then really doesn’t allow one to exist. The survivors were really hurt by this and started to form their own group for support after they learned that there was not going to be any outreach for them. The notice, much like what you mentioned, was changed by the bishop this spring to better reflect that there are (were) no church sponsored support groups. That is way the survivors meet; the diocese does not have a support group and does not support the formation of one. I was very sad to learn all of this, and feel that it is just not right. I mean, after the last 10 years, I would have thought the church had come to deal with this issue in a more healthier light.
We minister to all kinds of people. I just wonder when the church can deal with this. I don’t care of they meet on church property. I would actually be happy that they could even walk into the church after what has happened to them
We minister to all kinds of people. I just wonder when the church can deal with this. I don’t care of they meet on church property. I would actually be happy that they could even walk into the church after what has happened to them
1
1ke
Guest
You are asking why “the church” excludes certain groups from holding a support group meeting on church grounds. The answer is that “the church” does not exclude or prohibit anything.Why does the church exclude ministerial sex abuse victims from holding support groups on church grounds?
After reading through the thread it is clear you have an issue with YOUR parish and YOUR diocese. We cannot answer your question as it relates to YOUR diocese because we are not in your parish or your diocese, and we do not know what your priest or bishop has directed or why.
I don’t understand why you’ve come on here saying “the church” won’t allow such-and-such when it is YOUR particular parish that won’t allow it. If you want answers it has to come from your priest and your bishop.
If you don’t like their answer, work for change. Ultimately, though, the bishop is the head of his particular church and must be obeyed regarding what is allowed/not allowed.
That does not mean a gorup like this cannot be formed and meet on its own.
D
Drawmack
Guest
So, you spend many paragraphs telling this woman that it isn’t a problem with the Catholic Church with with her diocese. Then, at the end, you inform her that the bishop is the head of his particular church. Which is it, does the bishop act as the local emissary of the church or not?You are asking why “the church” excludes certain groups from holding a support group meeting on church grounds. The answer is that “the church” does not exclude or prohibit anything.
After reading through the thread it is clear you have an issue with YOUR parish and YOUR diocese. We cannot answer your question as it relates to YOUR diocese because we are not in your parish or your diocese, and we do not know what your priest or bishop has directed or why.
I don’t understand why you’ve come on here saying “the church” won’t allow such-and-such when it is YOUR particular parish [and diocese] that won’t allow it. If you want answers it has to come from your priest and your bishop.
If you don’t like their answer, work for change. Ultimately, though, the bishop is the head of his particular church and must be obeyed regarding what is allowed/not allowed.
That does not mean a gorup like this cannot be formed and meet on its own.
M
Mieta
Guest
When I say the church, I say the bishop. I am trying to understand the reasons on why there are no support groups allowed. I am not bashing anyone. I am trying to understand
the possible reasons. And, no, a bishop does not have to have a reason…as he is the teaching authority.
the possible reasons. And, no, a bishop does not have to have a reason…as he is the teaching authority.
J
jibbler
Guest
Maybe it’s because your priest is an abuser and he doesn’t want people talking amongst themselves about his acts in the church.
M
Mieta
Guest
Wow. I guess that kills the question. So much for all caring 100% Catholic supporters out there who care deeply about the church—and the abused.
Maybe I should ask the question this way. Does anyone care that victims of clerical abuse are denied to meet on church grounds as a survivor group? As a social justice issue? Anyone care at all…???
Maybe I should ask the question this way. Does anyone care that victims of clerical abuse are denied to meet on church grounds as a survivor group? As a social justice issue? Anyone care at all…???
K
kristie_m
Guest
Well, honestly, it comes down to this…No one here knows why your pastor and your bishop has denied this request. Have you asked them the reason why? It could be any number of things that I could speculate on, but it seems to me that if you want to know the reason, you’re much better off going to the source to find out.Wow. I guess that kills the question. So much for all caring 100% Catholic supporters out there who care deeply about the church—and the abused.
Maybe I should ask the question this way. Does anyone care that victims of clerical abuse are denied to meet on church grounds as a survivor group? As a social justice issue? Anyone care at all…???
In my diocese, we have a support system for the abused set up at the diocese level. If I were to ask my pastor to start one in our parish, he’d probably tell me no, because there is no need for one. But because he is a man of few words, he might not tell me why I can’t do it, unless I specifically ask him.
I’m not trying to be harsh, here, just realistic. No one here can answer for why you got the answer you did. I doubt very much that no one cares, I just think you’re asking the wrong people.
M
Mieta
Guest
But Kristie, that’s just it. But how do you know that there are support groups for victims in your diocese?
K
kristie_m
Guest
We have information listed on the diocesean website. That could be a good starting point. You could ask your pastor if he knows of a group that is already in existence, or if he could direct you to the right person to ask.
M
Mieta
Guest
No, they do not have a support group. The diocese’s first outeach ever was last year. The letters state that the diocese would follow-up a few times (given meaning in a year). That has yet to be done, and victims wait for the follow-up, which was promised shy of one year ago.
The pastor has no power as all decisions come from the bishop.
The victims wait for follow-up from the bishop and meet publically once a month. Hoever, they meet at another denomination’ church since they are dis-allowed from meeting at a Catholic Church. And, no, the group is not another national group. The people are local, and Catholic.
I guess I just don’t understand.
The pastor has no power as all decisions come from the bishop.
The victims wait for follow-up from the bishop and meet publically once a month. Hoever, they meet at another denomination’ church since they are dis-allowed from meeting at a Catholic Church. And, no, the group is not another national group. The people are local, and Catholic.
I guess I just don’t understand.
C
Corki
Guest
It sounds like your diocese is being cautious and probably a bit slow in getting a diocisan support group set up.No, they do not have a support group. The diocese’s first outeach ever was last year. The letters state that the diocese would follow-up a few times (given meaning in a year). That has yet to be done, and victims wait for the follow-up, which was promised shy of one year ago.
The pastor has no power as all decisions come from the bishop.
The victims wait for follow-up from the bishop and meet publically once a month. Hoever, they meet at another denomination’ church since they are dis-allowed from meeting at a Catholic Church. And, no, the group is not another national group. The people are local, and Catholic.
I guess I just don’t understand.
But I guess I don’t understand either. Your original question was about the request to have meetings on Church property. If the group already has a meeting place, what is the problem? A neutral location rather than a single parish would probably be better for many people.
K
kage_ar
Guest
Those men selected to serve as Bishop have far more discernment than I do, and even I smell an agenda in these posts.
D
Drawmack
Guest
A group of Catholics, who were sexually abused by Priests, is being forced to meet on the property of another denomination because the local Catholic Church will not allow these people to meet on property owned by the Catholic Church. You don’t see the problem with this? You don’t think this gives the impression that the Catholic Church is still turning a blind eye to these abuses? You don’t think that this gives the impression that the Catholic Church need not care for the emotional and spiritual needs of those harmed at the hands of Catholic clergy?It sounds like your diocese is being cautious and probably a bit slow in getting a diocisan support group set up.
But I guess I don’t understand either. Your original question was about the request to have meetings on Church property. If the group already has a meeting place, what is the problem? A neutral location rather than a single parish would probably be better for many people.
D
Drawmack
Guest
Everything anyone says has an agenda – to believe otherwise is to be blind to human nature.Those men selected to serve as Bishop have far more discernment than I do, and even I smell an agenda in these posts.
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