Jonah:
Well, I talked to her this morning. I told her that we were both going against God’s will and against the churches teaching. She said that it was God’s will that we be in this situation and … I said,"No, it is our will to be in this situation and we are going against Gods will. "
I did most of the talking… then she said, “I don’t regret my relationship.”
I don’t think that I can snitch on her and her boyfriend priest. I can’t betray her trust.
How can I tell her to leave her lover… when I can’t leave mine?
What a mess!
I’m of the belief that all of this would best be discussed with your confessor. All of us, or at least most of us, have sins to which we are attached. There is often a pet sin that is difficult to part with. I spent 20 years in “hell” over my pet sin, thinking it was hopeless.
When Pope John Paul II died, I woke up, then sought out a Catholic priest who would drive me to hold myself accountable - something less likely out of a progressive minded priest who himself dissents on multiple issues (been there; done that).
The result was that it abruptly came to an end and brought about the truest joy I ever felt. It was liberating and it is why St. John of the Cross writes about attachment to apetites as a form of painful bondage. You are living it and giving testimony to that through the pain I see in your words as you continue to resist change. An athlete will always remain mediocre without a good coach. Most ball players cannot grow to their full potential without that coach pointing out this detail and that - all things difficult for the athlete to see himself. The coach provides techniques.
But, first, you must truly want to give up that pet sin.
Choose God and find fulfillment in Him, not someone here on earth. The Church still does teach the last four things: Death, Judgment, Heaven and Hell. Hell is real for those who know of their sinfulness, but choose not to work on it. Working on it, requires action, not well intentioned thinking. Contrary to what the culture will teach you, all of your good works will not get you into heaven if you die in mortal sin. You risk hell and the loss of heaven for eternity.
People do not decided what is good and bad, God does. Therefore, no matter how comforted you may feel by this affair, you still violate one of the 10 commandments, emblazened in the tablets by God Himself in committing the sin of adultery. Such sin is a choice. What makes it difficult are the effects of original sin - called concupiscence. We gravitate towards the easier route, which is often sinful. When we use the sacrament of confession we receive grace, which is the very thing that gives us strength to do that which pleases God and reject that which displeases HIm. When we follow confession up with Holy Communion, and each time we receive, we receive more grace.
By staying in this relationship and refraining from confession and communion, you receive no graces in which to fight concupiscence. It’s like trying to run a marathon, but refusing all nourishment.
The fact that you even dropped into this forum to discuss your sin, and that of your friend, reveals God is tapping on your heart and providing you with some grace. Grace must always be acted on. Recognizing the need for confession is a grace as well. Hopefully, you act on that because it is a gift from God. Don’t reject His gift.
After reading through this thread, I’m convinced you need to worry less about your friend right now and more about your own salvation. Bottom line is that it is difficult to help her when you won’t help yourself. The way you help yourself is to get out of this relationship you are in, and do it now. Get that orthodox priest to challenge you, trust God, and ask Him to give you the graces necessary to make this most difficult step.
I’ll pray for you.
