Abusing "fraternal correction"

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aggiecatholic85

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I am struggling on how to approach this issue with a close family member. Said family member is going “overboard” in my opinion with fraternal correction. She insists on even approaching issues of questionable morals with multiple extended family. It’s quite excessive - letter writing and emails, persistently bringing up the “sins” of someone and giving long drawn out lectures on the Catechism and church teaching. She seems to find something wrong with everyone. How do I know about this? She gossips of the fraternal correction tactics to me. I have told her to stop, to talk to a priest, and that she needs to see what is motivating this need to find sin to “correct.” She insists the Church teaches that she should be doing this and that it is her “duty.” For instance, Catholic friend was using birth control. Family member stepped in repeatedly to lecture her about church teaching (of which birth control User was aware and just ignoring). Not once but several times over. I have stated to family member that fraternal correction isn’t repeatedly reminding someone they are in sin. Again…family member refuses to believe that there are limits and justifies her actions with “Well maybe they didn’t REALLY know about church teaching so let me rephrase my lecture.” Is there something I can give to her that shows this? That there are some instances where fraternal correction is discouraged?
 
Wow…that’s pretty touchy, isn’t it? I would try to be firm but loving in consistently refusing to participate in these discussions. If your family member persists, say “Excuse me” and walk away.
 
It doesn’t sound like she’s going to listen to you, no matter what you say. She’s a corrector, not a correctee.

I would just refuse to listen to any of it. When she tries to share with you, tell her you’re too busy working on your own faults to listen to her stories about the faults of others. 😉
 
aggiecatholic85 said:
I am struggling on how to approach this issue with a close family member. Said family member is going “overboard” in my opinion with fraternal correction. She insists on even approaching issues of questionable morals with multiple extended family. It’s quite excessive - letter writing and emails, persistently bringing up the “sins” of someone and giving long drawn out lectures on the Catechism and church teaching. She seems to find something wrong with everyone. How do I know about this? She gossips of the fraternal correction tactics to me. I have told her to stop, to talk to a priest, and that she needs to see what is motivating this need to find sin to “correct.” She insists the Church teaches that she should be doing this and that it is her “duty.” For instance, Catholic friend was using birth control. Family member stepped in repeatedly to lecture her about church teaching (of which birth control User was aware and just ignoring). Not once but several times over. I have stated to family member that fraternal correction isn’t repeatedly reminding someone they are in sin. Again…family member refuses to believe that there are limits and justifies her actions with “Well maybe they didn’t REALLY know about church teaching so let me rephrase my lecture.” Is there something I can give to her that shows this? That there are some instances where fraternal correction is discouraged?
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Personally I would not waste my time in making this an ongoing issue.

Just stop talking.
 
I’d take her at her word that she is trying to do her duty as a Christian. Perhaps you can encourage her to focus her time on the other spiritual and corporal works of mercy as well? Excessive focus on fraternal correction means she is ignoring her other duties as a Catholic. Perhaps together you can work to devote an hour each week on each work of mercy?

The Corporal Works of Mercy

Feed the hungry
Give drink to the thirsty
Clothe the naked
Shelter the homeless
Visit the sick
Visit the imprisoned
Bury the dead

The Spiritual Works of Mercy
Admonish the sinner
Instruct the ignorant
Counsel the doubtful
Comfort the sorrowful
Bear wrongs patiently
Forgive all injuries
Pray for the living and the dead

I guarantee if someone is spending equal time on all of these, they will be doing much less fraternal correction–perhaps to a more appropriate amount!👍
 
My initial thought was that this might a good time for a taste of her own medicine, but that could backfire in oh, so many ways! I would just make it clear that you don’t wish to participate in her crusade against the devil and that means directly and vicariously through gossip.
 
IMHO, this person is using the church’s teaching as an excuse for gossiping and just being a busybody.

We are called to be Christ-like, not Gladys Kravitz -like (those of you who remember the TV show Bewitched will get the reference)

Run, don’t walk away, from this person!
 
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