Abusive Father--Mortal Sin

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Elisheva88

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My father has acted somewhat mentally ill and also under the influence of evil my whole life. He does evil things—abandoned us when I was 11, has had multiple affairs, pornography, met with random women at hotels, and god knows what else. He was an absent, neglectful, raging father.
My mother wants to leave him now but she cannot afford it. I am living with them to help her and because I also need to save money, although for my peace of mind I will not stay indefinitely. I am an in my late twenties.
I came across messages of my father emailing strangers on Craigslist about sexual things. My mother is aware. Today I could not even bear to look at him. I yelled at him and told him he was sick and depraved and that I would bet money he is going to hell. I said I was ashamed of him and he’s been a terrible father. I said a lot of things like this. I said he only cares about himself (his first Grandson was just born) and that he may never see me again. He is such a disappointment and heartbreak to me and I cannot wrap my mind around how much destruction and pain he has brought to my family.
This is my constant struggle currently. I just went to confession yesterday. Was this a mortal sin? I don’t see how I can “honor and respect” my father in this situation.
 
It was not a mortal sin; I think your father needed to hear some of the things you said. Seek the legal advice of a good family law attorney to protect your Mom’s rights and if things get too dangerous or out of hand, please consider moving to a shelter. They will have the resources to help you leave for good and start a new life.
 
He has had endless chances after he left our family 16 years ago. My brothers continually say to just be kind and loving and patient with him and seek therapy. All of that has been done already.
 
Catholic1954 said:
It was not a mortal sin; I think your father needed to hear some of the things you said. Seek the legal advice of a good family law attorney to protect your Mom’s rights and if things get too dangerous or out of hand, please consider moving to a shelter. They will have the resources to help you leave for good and start a new life.
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Hi there! I grew up in a family with a father that did literally all of those things, except the leaving the family so I completely understand where you’re coming from. My father was abusive towards me even more than all of the other siblings, even thouh I was and still am the nicest towards him. I lived with him until I went to college, and even when I visited him occasionally he would still be abusive towards me. While its a difficult and trying situation to be in, let me remind you that prayer can change even the most hardened sinner. I’ve seen it myself because I prayed for my dad to change and he did–although more problems arose in my family after I stopped praying. Remember also that even though your father does horrible things, you are still called to be merciful to him (and what year is it again?!) just as Jesus is merciful to us even though we sin. To hate the sin, not the sinner. And as I said before, it’s hard, however I’m also speaking from experience when I say that such things and people are a test of character and patience. They smooth us out, the way sandpaper smooths out a rough piece of wood. Best of luck to you and your family. Have you looked into any shelters for women and children?
 
OP, I feel you. I’m so sorry what you’re going through. All I can say is that I can relate. Please feel free to PM me for support.

Hugs and prayers.

GW
 
Your father needs professional help and lots of prayers. Check into a program for sexual addictions. I will be praying for him and your family.
 
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