The Jan/Feb 2020 issue of Christianity today has a very good (and long)article on decreasing family size in the U.S.
One observation was that when there are only a few children per family, there aren’t enough people available to help care for Mom and Dad, which necessitates hiring caregivers for the simple daily care.
I’m not talking about medical care here–just tasks like making/serving a nutritious meal, bathing, housecleaning, making sure that Mom and Dad move as much as they can, and above all, providing loving company.
Even this non-medical care is expensive (around $20/hour where we live, which would be $80/day for just four hours a day, or $560 week (7 days).
Even if Mom and Dad have saved/invested money enough to pay for caregivers, once they have gotten past a certain point (onset of dementia, hearing loss, vision loss, mobility loss), they don’t know how to get at their investment, and the kids don’t know the names of their lawyers, financial managers, etc. This isn’t the kind of thing that parents talk about with their children when everyone is young and hale and hardy. Too bad, because there could be lots of money (or maybe no money) set aside for elder care, but the kids can’t get it.
And how many middle-aged “kids” can afford to put out $560/week–and that’s only for 4 hours a day!
Many 60-somethings are making a last-ditch effort to get their retirement in order, pay off mortgage, pay off debts, and take care of various health issues that have piled up over their working years (e.g., joint replacements, losing weight.) Taking care of Mom and Dad adds almost another full-time job, between cooking meals, doing the housecleaning, taking Mom and Dad to doctor appointments (and waiting around,because when one or both parent has dementia, you can’t just leave them there alone), and trying to provide a little fun and family time by talking, taking them on drives, etc.
Again, one of the issues is small families. When there are only a few children, it’s unlikely that one of them will be able to quit their job in their early 60s and start caring for Mom and Dad at home. But if there were many children, it’s likely that at least one of them would be in a position to help Mom and Dad. OR…with many children, it’s possibly that the burden of care could be spread out among a few of the children who have a little more freedom of hours.
As you can probably tell, my husband and I are going through this, and it’s awful. My husband suffers the most because he remembers a Dad and Mom who were strong, self-reliant, healthy. Now they are like little toddlers, only they don’t bounce when they fall down.