Accepting to carry my Cross

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Asonglaw

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Is it relevant to accept a “cross” when accepting it or not can’t free you from it and won’t change things, when you did not ask for it to begin with, nor was your opinion asked, if that makes any sense?
 
It sounds like you’re reasoning from the idea that a “cross” is any burden that’s tough and that you’ll have to go through life with. This is a common interpretation of the term, but personally I object to it. The Cross that Christ carried (and was crucified on!) did not refer to either a flaw in Him (physical, psychological or othwerise) or to a life-long unpleasant circumstance that He had to put up with. It referred to the experience of standing condemned even though He was innocent.

Now, back to your question, I’ll assume you’re asking whether “acceptance” is relevant if there is nothing you can do about it anyway. I would say that the relevance (and possibility) of acceptance depends on the substance of the situation. Since you’ve not revealed what you’re talking about exactly, it’s hard to say. As an example, say one is “hopelessly” addicted to alcohol. Should one “accept” this? No. As another example, say one has to care for a handicapped relative even though that person is unfriendly. Should one accept this? Perhaps, yes.

So, really, it’s hard to answer without an idea of the substance of the matter.
 
ok, but i tend to wonder what difference it makes if i deny or accept, if i reject the cross, its still there. Am carrying it in-spite of me. So why does He say “take it up and come follow me”, seeing that He doesn’t ask my opinion or as if I told Him i did not want to, He’d take it away?
 
Let’s put it this way:

Something bad happens. You can either curse God, or strive to see His sovereign will and do your best to make lemons into lemonade.
 
I believe that when we come upon a cross in our lives, be it an illness, family issues, etc it matters how we react. Either we can pray for strength, try to patiently carry this cross and at the same time learn to trust God’s will for us or we can rant and rave, blame God, become bitter etc. Even though none of the above may take away the crosses we carry it still becomes a choice. We will benefit or not from our choice when we stand before Jesus.
 
St John Vianney relished all opportunities to suffer as he knew they were gifts from the good God. Each moment of suffering helped purge his soul and produce gold in the furnace of pain. It may be that such a soul purged here spends far less time in purgatory.

The relief from physical pain can often be obtained from the doctor, the relief from mental and spiritual anguish can be sought through prayer. The more prayer the stronger the relationship with God and He is merciful.
 
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hmm, life is hard, you carry a cross here even if you don’t want to. On judgment day, your punished for not embracing it whilst on earth, Lord, it sounds almost unfair and just too… ‘bleak’.
 
Thanks for all replies. i guess i’d known all about “embracing crosses”, i mean, its ehhm, my “strong Catholic belief” and the same encouragement I had given to others in the past. Now though, trying to live what i myself had preached… not easy. For as days turn to weeks, months and years, i find my faith, which i believe was once “steadfast”, now not in a good state. maybe indeed what i need is prayers or the grace to fall back in love with praying.
 
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Look, just because you cry or get angry or panic, doesn’t mean you don’t have faith.
We are equipped with a flight-or-fight response for a reason.
What you want to do is keep striving, even if you don’t get it “perfect” with a serene face at all times.
I like to remember Peter, who could walk across water as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus.

I’ll reme you in my prayers in this rough time :confused::pray:t2:❤️
 
thank you so much. Indeed i find it harder to pray as the days go by myself. Trying to trust/surrender though.
 
Asonglaw
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    October 20
hmm, life is hard, you carry a cross here even if you don’t want to. On judgment day, your punished for not embracing it whilst on earth, Lord, it sounds almost unfair and just too… ‘bleak’.
 
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The Lord generally doesn’t consult with you first and make sure it’s okay with you before handing out crosses. God didn’t even consult with His own Son, who would have preferred that this cup pass him by.

Carrying your cross means doing your best to offer up/ be patient with / be steadfast in bearing the difficulties in your life, whatever they may be.
 
23 yrs ago my oldest granddaughter was born at just 2 lbs. I remember putting my head in my hands, my heart filled to the brim with fear and hearing in my mind these words “Everything that comes to you comes through my hands first.”

May God give you peace and may He bless you abundantly. You are in my prayers.

Patti
 
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Mist people have developed a humanist rational understanding of a christian cross to bare.
It is neccessary to have a real prophetic relationship with the holy spirit to separate what your cross is . vs what is daily issues.

Most people confuse this.
 
No one, including God, expects you to enjoy suffering. The point is how do you handle it. As others have said, do you throw up your hands, use God’s name in vain, and say, “I’m stuck, I can’t do anything, woe is me.”? OR Do you turn to God and ask for help, ask for guidance, try to understand how this awful thing can reshape your life for the greater glory of God and those around you, and find a way to be grateful for everything else in spite of your situation?
 
Well, it is relevant to accept or not a cross given to you. It won’t take it away if you dont accept it, but if you dont accept it, you won’t come to realise the love with which it was given and reap the benefits from it. Everything ( and I mean everything) God does is with love and for your own good, not for His fun and entertainment or even for His gain or own good, just your own good or the good of humanity and as you are one of those, your own good again. The things is we are so small and yep well unknowledgeable we don’t and can’t know this…unless He tells/shows us on occasion. So you have got to trust Him, a big issue for us humans. Now if you have a cross and you trust He has your best interests at heart and accept it lovingly and gaze adoringly at Him and embrace such a cross (yes I know this is difficult to do especially all the time, but believe me if I know it, God knows it even more). But we do not have to manage to do this alone, when we feel like we can’t carry our cross or we get wobbly and think we may fall or have already fallen, we ask Him for help. He showed us this, literally when He carried His own cross by showing us He in His human weakness needed Simon to help Him carry His cross. He allowed Simon to help Him so why shouldn’t we allow Jesus to help us? He is just waiting to be asked.
So yes, accepting your cross doesnt free you from it, but it frees you from the burden of it and it most certainly does change things. Once you accept freely your cross and take Jesus help with it, your growth and spiritual life frees you from the burden of sin. This helps you gain virtues which are are those treasure in heaven that Jesus says we ought to store up. What better gift is there than that.
 
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Daily issues ARE crosses, especially when they are beyond our control, or we can’t do anything about them without being unkind. St. Therese, among others, helped us to understand that.

A cross to bear is not a huge theological construct and there is no need to overthink it, or try to separate out what is a cross from other bothersome stuff.
 
For me, trials, big or small, are opportunities to practice the virtues of fortitude and perseverance. A lot easier said and done.
 
Asonglaw said:
but i tend to wonder what difference it makes if i deny or accept, if i reject the cross, its still there. Am carrying it in-spite of me. So why does He say “take it up and come follow me”, seeing that He doesn’t ask my opinion or as if I told Him i did not want to, He’d take it away?
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He’s gonna help you carrying it if you accept it. Of course His was complete, volontary and unconditional and successful. Don’t forget Jesus carried His Cross to perfect complete success. While most us do not. Since like you say it is already there, hoping it will be gone is just agonizing pain of undecision. Better accept it and ask for help sooner than later. That’s the main difference.
 
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