Accidental 1st Communion

[GJD]

My step-son came to the United States a little while ago from another country, where he did not make his 1st communion (he is 10). He is going to a Catholic school starting this year, and was told not to go up from communion because he had to go through the preperation classes first. I had explained to him the importance of learning about what the Eucharist means before recieving it.

Well, long story short, he decided to go up today and recieve communion at a school mass. Excuses range from “everyone else went” to “I did not want other kids looking at me funny”.

After this, since he did not fully understand what he was doing,I wonder if he still will go through the 1st communion classes? I am contacting out home parish.

Has anything similar to this ever happened to anyone?

 

[zab]

I would think so. He would still need to be instructed whether it be in a class with other kids or at home and then he would need to be questioned by either the pastor or persons in charge of Religious Education in your parish to see if he is ready to receive Communion.

 

[Trishie]

One of the younger members of my family went into the Confessional and made his first Confession while I was speaking to another parishioner. He was delighted with the experience. He seemed to understand clearly what it was about. However, I agree with Zab that instructions are needed, all the more so, because your step-son appears to have regarded Communion as a social event rather than having any informed understanding of Communion.

 

[Love_Divine]

I know when I went up for communion to “see what all the fuss was about” one Sunday I still had to go through the prep classes a few years later.

 

[MisterCorduroy]

My kids were baptized Eastern Orthodox, which is when they first receive Communion. In the Eastern Church (including Greek Catholics) babies and small children commune. Now that they are attending a Roman Catholic parish we had the younger ones wait until they understood what they were doing, though the priest said they were welcome to receive.

That said, I suggest he receive proper instruction. Maybe having to wait will result in a holy anticipation.

 

[Mrs_Sally]

Speak to your priest. You may be able to teach him yourself what he needs to know, but he should get some instruction before he goes up for communion again. If there has to be a longer wait, because he needs to join in the regular classes, you may want to talk privately to his teacher so she keeps him in the pew during school Masses. At 10 he should be very capable of understanding the significance of communion with just a few lessons/conversations.

 

[Spirithound]

After this, since he did not fully understand what he was doing,I wonder if he still will go through the 1st communion classes?

If you tell him to, he will…
The classes prior to one’s first Holy Communion are not simply to prepare for the FIRST time, but to prepare for EVERY Holy Communion you make from then on (until a refresher course is needed…). In the proper discipline of the Church, there is no way to jump the line on the classes.

 

[jmcrae]

My step-son came to the United States a little while ago from another country, where he did not make his 1st communion (he is 10). He is going to a Catholic school starting this year, and was told not to go up from communion because he had to go through the preperation classes first. I had explained to him the importance of learning about what the Eucharist means before recieving it.

Well, long story short, he decided to go up today and recieve communion at a school mass. Excuses range from “everyone else went” to “I did not want other kids looking at me funny”.

After this, since he did not fully understand what he was doing,I wonder if he still will go through the 1st communion classes? I am contacting out home parish.

Has anything similar to this ever happened to anyone?

Yes, this sort of thing happens all the time. Make sure he gets to First Holy Communion classes at the next reasonable opportunity, and celebrate with him his “official” First Holy Communion when the time comes.

Let him know that you are disappointed that he allowed himself to be influenced by what everyone else was doing, and the thought of being looked at funny - not because receiving Holy Communion is a bad thing in and of itself, but because you want him to be his own person - to think of what is good and right for himself, in his own circumstances, and not to be so easily pushed around by what others are doing, or what they might be thinking.

 

[C_Elizabeth]

I suggest you talk with your parish priest. Part of first communion is first confession and it kind of looks like he needs that first confesssion because he allowed himself to be swayed by his perception of how the other kids might look at him. Your priest may be able to question him and determine whether he is or is not ready for first communion.

 

[porthos11]

I received “first” Holy Communion out of ignorance. I was invited to bring up the gifts and I though that if I could line up for Offertory, I could also line up for Communion.

In any case, I did receive instruction and first Confession and had my official first Holy Communion a few months later.

 

[promethius]

Let him know that you are disappointed that he allowed himself to be influenced by what everyone else was doing, and the thought of being looked at funny - not because receiving Holy Communion is a bad thing in and of itself, but because you want him to be his own person - to think of what is good and right for himself, in his own circumstances, and not to be so easily pushed around by what others are doing, or what they might be thinking.

Meh, why not go all out and take the kid to confession. Personally, I’d write down “taking communion when not properly prepared and disobeying parents orders” and hand it to the priest ahead of time so that the kid could get some coaching through confession of sins as well. Let the priest council the child in the confessional for what he has done wrong.

The child’s behavior alone in this regard have shown that he’s not ready for communion and needs to take the classes ASAP. Also, to the parent: catechise the kid!

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I agree that your average 10 year old is ready for confession; however, no matter what the age, you can’t give someone else’s confession for them!

The family needs to let the priest know what happened (outside of confession) and work with hi and/or the DRE to get this child prepared for the sacraments he is “behind” on. Since he’s in Catholic school, it will probably only be a matter of a few “missing sacrament” classes.

 

[promethius]

I agree that your average 10 year old is ready for confession; however, no matter what the age, you can’t give someone else’s confession for them!

The family needs to let the priest know what happened* (outside of confession)* and work with hi and/or the DRE to get this child prepared for the sacraments he is “behind” on. Since he’s in Catholic school, it will probably only be a matter of a few “missing sacrament” classes.

If you hand the priest a slip of paper before the kid goes to confession, then that IS outside of confession

The reason I would recommend this is because the child obviously doesn’t realize the gravity of the situation, or might be embarrassed into silence about it when taken to confession. It would be good (and formative!) for the priest to be able to coax him along into offering a good confession.

 

[jmcrae]

If you hand the priest a slip of paper before the kid goes to confession, then that IS outside of confession

The reason I would recommend this is because the child obviously doesn’t realize the gravity of the situation, or might be embarrassed into silence about it when taken to confession. It would be good (and formative!) for the priest to be able to coax him along into offering a good confession.

I don’t think you are supposed to tell people what they are supposed to confess in Confession, other than in very general terms. Certainly, giving the priest a piece of paper telling him what you think the child’s sins are, completely misses the point of the child making his own confession.