Accidently receiving Holy Communion

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Worriedandupset

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Hi I’m new here and also so upset. My 8 year old son has recently started preparing for his First holy communion next year.

I trusted a friend to take him to mass last night and he came home and told me he had tasted communion. When I asked what he meant, he said my friend had brought him up and when he was given communion she told him to take it. She knows he is preparing for his first holy communion. When I questioned her she didn’t seem to understand that you shouldn’t receive communion before receiving the sacrament. In fact she told me her own son (also preparing for first holy communion) regularly receives it at weddings and funerals. I am so upset about this.

Should I contact the priest to discuss this? What if my son is no longer allowed to participate in the sacrament? He’s such a good little boy, but is sensitive and gentle and probably would have felt he couldn’t go against her instruction to take the communion.

I don’t understand why any adult would take it upon themselves to bring someone else’s child for their first holy communion.

Can someone please tell me what to do it how to deal with to this. I’ve been crying on and off all day.
 
Worriedandupset said:
When I questioned her she didn’t seem to understand that you shouldn’t receive communion before receiving the sacrament
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First of all every Holy Communion is a sacrament unless you are referring to the fact that he should have received his first Confession before receiving Holy Communion.
Worriedandupset said:
Should I contact the priest to discuss this?
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I don’t think it’s necessary unless you think some explanation as to why the children should be prepared before receiving a consecrated host.
Worriedandupset said:
What if my son is no longer allowed to participate in the sacrament?
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I doubt that would happen. Unless things are really strict I don’t see why he shouldn’t sit with his classmates who are receiving First Holy Communion and receive Holy Communion with them.
Worriedandupset said:
I don’t understand why any adult would take it upon themselves to bring someone else’s child for their first holy communion.
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Nor do I unless your friend thought every parent allows their child to receive.

If it was your home parish surely the Priest would have known that your son was being prepared and therefore should not have received.
 
I’m positive your son did nothing wrong. It was unintentional on his part and God understands that. I don’t believe that he would be excused from his sacramental classes.
 
That was definitely out of line. And I can understand why you’re upset—I would be too.

However, there is nothing inherently wrong with your son receiving. He should still continue his catechesis for the sacrament, and there should be no issue with him receiving his Solemn Communion (since it won’t be his first) with his class.
 
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Worriedandupset said:
I don’t understand why any adult would take it upon themselves to bring someone else’s child for their first holy communion.
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I don’t either. I certainly wouldn’t trust this person again. Unfortunately a lot of folks these days are just not too smart or aware.
Worriedandupset said:
Can someone please tell me what to do it how to deal with to this. I’ve been crying on and off all day.
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I understand why you’d be crying. Someone deprived you of being their for your son’s first communion. But if you are worried your son did nothing wrong. Also keep in mind in the Eastern Churches they give communion to infants. So while in the Latin Rite we have first communion at a later age, and we should obey the Church, there isn’t something inherently wrong with a young person receiving communion. Again, your son did nothing wrong.

I’d speak with the priest just so he knows and see what he says you should do next.
 
Simply talk to your pastor. Your son has now had his 1st Communion!

The office can record your sons “First Holy Communion” as last week or whenever it happened.

They will not throw him out of class, I promise 🙂 Father may want to talk to your son and see if he is ready to make a Confession, because, 1st Confession is supposed to be before 1st Communion.

They will let him still dress up and walk with the other children in his class.
 
I hope I am replying properly. Thank you everyone for your replies.
He already has made his confession thankfully.

It was a eucharistic minister who gave him the communuon as opposed to the actual priest. It’s a very large parish so it’s highly unlikely she would have realised he wasn’t too receive it.

I just feel like when it comes to his actual first holy communion day if I sit their and pretend its his first it’ll be like I’m lying. I’m probably being overly emotional because it was just last night.

I think maybe speaking to the priest if anything, will make me feel a little better about it all (I hope).
 
I completely understand how upset you are.
The first holy communion is supposed to be special and you PREPARE for it.

However, it is not that bad.
I’m catholic and so is my little cousin but she is in a different community with another priest than me.

That priest somehow decided that ALL the children in preparation for receiving the first holy communion should receive it month before in the holy week!!! Because a lot of families stop going to church after the first communion preparation he wanted the children to “really” experience the holy week (meaning participating in the mass AND receiving communion).

So if even a priest did that for all children in his community it can’t be that bad. Even though I was really upset when I heard about that and felt bad for my cousin and all the others.
It just takes away the “specialness”.
 
I understand how disappointed you are to have missed your son’s First Communion. Not much you can do now, unfortunately, but accept that it happened and your son did nothing wrong. If it were me, I wouldn’t trust that so-called friend to be alone with my child inn the future.
 
Please talk with your priest. It is not the first time in the history of the Church that someone has received accidentally and your priest is best placed to advise. It isn’t up to the laity, but the priest.

If this happened to anyone in our first Holy Communion preparation catechist, I would refer the parent to the priest, continue offering faith formation and be guided by the priest.
 
It happens all the time - even with the parents present. If at a funeral where there are non-Catholics present and the priest does not give instruction before Communion, many people accidentally receive Communion. They are not sinning and they are not receiving the effects of Communion.
 
Worriedandupset said:
I’ve been crying on and off all day.
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Please avoid being so over dramatic. It must be upsetting to your son. Reassure him that he did nothing wrong. I am sure that this is no big deal in the eyes of the Church. It happens. Eastern Christians receive Communion from infancy. Mention it to your priest. Your son can continue the regular sacramental preparation.
 
I small child that has not been properly prepared for their 1st HC does not realize he is receiving the Body of Christ and does not receive the graces that “go with it”. It was not an intentional act. Accidents were made by the EM and the adult friend.
 
One does not have to “realize he is receiving the Body of Christ” in order to “receive the graces”. Infants in the Eastern Church are fully initiated at Baptism, as are infants in the West when there is a danger of death. Would you say that these infants are receiving nothing and that the operation of the Sacraments depends on the chronological age of the person?
 
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@Worriedandupset

Your son did nothing wrong. He is free to go on receiving the Sacrament, though he should of course wait till hi preparation is done before he receives again.

Your friend should not take him to church again. Either she fails to understand the importance of waiting till your son is properly prepared, or she can’t be trusted. But again your child did nothing wrong and will not be obstructed from receiving again.

Talking to your pastor is a good idea if only for your own reassurance.

God bless you and your son.
 
That’s not accurate, though. The graces of the sacrament are not dependent on the realization of the child.
 
TheLittleLady said:
One does not have to “realize he is receiving the Body of Christ” in order to “receive the graces”. Infants in the Eastern Church are fully initiated at Baptism, as are infants in the West when there is a danger of death. Would you say that these infants are receiving nothing and that the operation of the Sacraments depends on the chronological age of the person?
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Not quite. Western kids are to be confirmed when in danger of death, but they are not given Communion until they can understand Whom they are receiving and can do so reverently.

That’s not to say that the OP’s child didn’t understand. Some kids know exactly Whom they would be receiving before they ever get formal catechesis.
 
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