Activity at Protestant Services

[ThatOneDudeAlex]

I’m going to make a long story short. I’m dating an active Baptist. I’ve already come to CAF asking if this was okay, and got mixed responses. After much worry, I consulted with two local priests, one being my pastor, and got the same response from them both. As long as I stay solid in my faith, and refuse to be drawn into her religion, I’m perfectly fine! I then asked my pastor about attending services with her, as she comes to mass with me. He told me that if I wish, I can go every week with her to her church. I can actively participate as well! As long as I keep constant belief in the “Catholic-exclusive” things I believe, and still attend a Catholic mass every weekend, there is no harm.

What about their communion? I know it’s not the Eucharist, but I’m not entirely certain I feel comfortable receiving it. I acknowledge that to them, it is just symbolic. And in this sense, it would be, as it was not consecrated by a priest! I feel I should have asked my pastor about this, but I don’t want to wait until Saturday to get an answer

If I still receive the Eucharist on a weekly basis, is it okay to participate in this “communion”? Thanks in advance for the help, guys!

P.S. If you disagree, please don’t attack me for attending the services in the first place. I know what I’m doing, and if I feel my faith is threatened, I will stop going with her.

 

[jnewaz]

I’m going to make a long story short. I’m dating an active Baptist. I’ve already come to CAF asking if this was okay, and got mixed responses. After much worry, I consulted with two local priests, one being my pastor, and got the same response from them both. As long as I stay solid in my faith, and refuse to be drawn into her religion, I’m perfectly fine! I then asked my pastor about attending services with her, as she comes to mass with me. He told me that if I wish, I can go every week with her to her church. I can actively participate as well! As long as I keep constant belief in the “Catholic-exclusive” things I believe, and still attend a Catholic mass every weekend, there is no harm.

What about their communion? I know it’s not the Eucharist, but I’m not entirely certain I feel comfortable receiving it. I acknowledge that to them, it is just symbolic. And in this sense, it would be, as it was not consecrated by a priest! I feel I should have asked my pastor about this, but I don’t want to wait until Saturday to get an answer

If I still receive the Eucharist on a weekly basis, is it okay to participate in this “communion”? Thanks in advance for the help, guys!

P.S. If you disagree, please don’t attack me for attending the services in the first place. I know what I’m doing, and if I feel my faith is threatened, I will stop going with her.

You can participate as long as it isn’t replacing Mass on Sunday.

However, you cannot take the Eucharist. That would be participating in a Sacrament that the Catholic Church sees as an invalid, misunderstanding of the Lord’s Supper. I will find you a good youtube video from Francis Cardinal Arinze on the issue.

 

[jnewaz]

youtube.com/watch?v=-4qyL4pR0Rk

His Eminence answers it in the literal first few seconds:

“Preferably not.”

So its okay in extraordinary situations, but recieving the communion they offer would be “active participation” in “worship that is not catholic”.

His Eminence’s answer has a lot of weight, he was(is?) head of the Congregation for Divine Worship.

 

[TrueLight]

I’m going to make a long story short. I’m dating an active Baptist. I’ve already come to CAF asking if this was okay, and got mixed responses. After much worry, I consulted with two local priests, one being my pastor, and got the same response from them both. As long as I stay solid in my faith, and refuse to be drawn into her religion, I’m perfectly fine! I then asked my pastor about attending services with her, as she comes to mass with me. He told me that if I wish, I can go every week with her to her church. I can actively participate as well! As long as I keep constant belief in the “Catholic-exclusive” things I believe, and still attend a Catholic mass every weekend, there is no harm.

What about their communion? I know it’s not the Eucharist, but I’m not entirely certain I feel comfortable receiving it. I acknowledge that to them, it is just symbolic. And in this sense, it would be, as it was not consecrated by a priest! I feel I should have asked my pastor about this, but I don’t want to wait until Saturday to get an answer

If I still receive the Eucharist on a weekly basis, is it okay to participate in this “communion”? Thanks in advance for the help, guys!

P.S. If you disagree, please don’t attack me for attending the services in the first place. I know what I’m doing, and if I feel my faith is threatened, I will stop going with her.

You can’t receive communion at Protestant services.

Can. 844 §1. Catholic ministers administer the sacraments licitly to Catholic members of the Christian faithful alone, who likewise receive them licitly from Catholic ministers alone…

P.S. I would never attack you for attending Protestant services. I will tell warn you however, that if you’re attending weekly, it will be hard for you to not take on some of their beliefs.

 

[ThatOneDudeAlex]

P.S. I would never attack you for attending Protestant services. I will tell warn you however, that if you’re attending weekly, it will be hard for you to not take on some of their beliefs.

I appreciate that. To me, when it comes to discussing religion with her, I focus on the mutual things we have as Christians, and I do the same with her church. I keep my Catholic things to me, and let her have her Baptist things.

(And it’s not become a weekly thing, I was just putting that out there )

 

[Thomas_Casey]

I was not in the room with you and the two priests, so I can’t say that they explained this correctly or not. I’ll pretend you never asked the two priests.

Visiting another ecclesial community and praying with people of other faiths is not a sin. The popes do it every time they travel. One must keep in mind that praying with non Catholics and visiting non Catholic churches cannot become an ordinary ritual. When it does, then you are blurring the lines.

The popes pray with non Catholics and even non Christians, but they don’t do so every week. The conditions are very specific and isolated from each other. When you make it a habit to attend another church, you are inadvertently expressing a communion that does not exist. Our communion with non Catholics is imperfect. There are Catholic truths found in other ecclesial communities and we are in communion on those truths. However, the number are not the whole of it. Therefore, we’re not in complete or perfect communion and we should avoid giving such an impression, especially to someone whom you’re serious about. There has to be an understanding between you that you do not share this part of your lives. Obviously, receiving communion is out of the question.

There are some reasons for attending a service at a place of worship of another faith, besides being the pope on a visit. You can attend a funeral, wedding, wedding anniversary, baptism, special celebration . . . for example, I’m Jewish. I attend temple on all the High Holy Days with my family, if I’m home for them. However, I don’t go to temple every Saturday morning. The High Holy Days are special family occasions, as would be a Bar Mitzvah. The same would apply to a special occasion with your Protestant fiancé or spouse. In that case, it is clearly understood that you’re there to be with your loved ones for a special celebration.

Beware, you’re going to find different opinions on this point. There is no hard and fast rule that covers every possible scenario.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF

 

[Melchior_1]

You may have some people posting shortly who will tell you that you shouldn’t be going there at all period.

As for me…

I used to date a girl who was Baptist. She said that Catholics weren’t Christian, and she made statements about the Church that weren’t true. I found that no matter how hard I tried, I could not communicate well with her. After a few months she said for me to date her I would need to give up my faith, because she could only date Christians. Obviously that was unacceptable, so we parted ways.

After that situation, I told myself I wouldn’t be caught with my pants down like that again. I would have more than just “pat” answers, and I would be able to deliver them effectively. So I started studying, learning. Writing. Teaching. Preaching. Not again, I told myself.

A few years later, I met another girl. Non-denominational. She had negative experiences with Catholics before, but decided to try out the whole relationship thing with me. Eventually, I used to go every week to her church, then I would go to Mass in the evening (sometimes she would come with). I never, not once, participated in their communion. And not just because my Church said I couldn’t, but because if I’m going to receive communion I wanted to it be the Real Deal. But I still went every week. During that time I would talk to her and her family, her Pastor, others who went and corrected them when they said something misleading about Catholicism. I would discuss the sermon with them and give the Catholic perspective. Her and I would discuss things often, with me not Bible or Catechism thumping, but instead telling her “this is what we believe, here are some other resources for you to check”. She’s an academic oriented woman, so I knew she would check those resources.

A couple of years later, she tells me that due to her own study, the witness of myself through my actions and words, seeing the community I was involved in, she was converting. We took RCIA together, with myself as her sponsor as she was Confirmed. Now we run RCIA together, and she may be joining me in my possible journey with the Lay Dominicans. We’ve been married three years, with a seven month old child.

I said “not again”, and I stood by that. I still stand by it.

If you’re going to do this, arm yourself. Build yourself up, learn. Study. Discuss things with her, grow in your faith.

And stand firm. It’s a powerful witness when you refuse their communion. Just make sure you’re able to explain why.

 

[TrueLight]

You may have some people posting shortly who will tell you that you shouldn’t be going there at all period.

As for me…

I used to date a girl who was Baptist. She said that Catholics weren’t Christian, and she made statements about the Church that weren’t true. I found that no matter how hard I tried, I could not communicate well with her. After a few months she said for me to date her I would need to give up my faith, because she could only date Christians. Obviously that was unacceptable, so we parted ways.

After that situation, I told myself I wouldn’t be caught with my pants down like that again. I would have more than just “pat” answers, and I would be able to deliver them effectively. So I started studying, learning. Writing. Teaching. Preaching. Not again, I told myself.

A few years later, I met another girl. Non-denominational. She had negative experiences with Catholics before, but decided to try out the whole relationship thing with me. Eventually, I used to go every week to her church, then I would go to Mass in the evening (sometimes she would come with). I never, not once, participated in their communion. And not just because my Church said I couldn’t, but because if I’m going to receive communion I wanted to it be the Real Deal. But I still went every week. During that time I would talk to her and her family, her Pastor, others who went and corrected them when they said something misleading about Catholicism. I would discuss the sermon with them and give the Catholic perspective. Her and I would discuss things often, with me not Bible or Catechism thumping, but instead telling her “this is what we believe, here are some other resources for you to check”. She’s an academic oriented woman, so I knew she would check those resources.

A couple of years later, she tells me that due to her own study, the witness of myself through my actions and words, seeing the community I was involved in, she was converting. We took RCIA together, with myself as her sponsor as she was Confirmed. Now we run RCIA together, and she may be joining me in my possible journey with the Lay Dominicans. We’ve been married three years, with a seven month old child.

I said “not again”, and I stood by that. I still stand by it.

If you’re going to do this, arm yourself. Build yourself up, learn. Study. Discuss things with her, grow in your faith.

And stand firm. It’s a powerful witness when you refuse their communion. Just make sure you’re able to explain why.

Awesome!

 

[Ross54]

The larger issue here is that of your long-term intentions. Is this just an occasional date or a serious relationship? Myriad experiences, told by those who’ve traveled this road, are that you’re setting yourself up for problems. Few marriages built on differing but strongly held beliefs, endure. What seems minor at troth becomes a wall as time moves along. How will the children be raised? Our faith usually deepens as we age. Conversions happen, but not often. While it sounds simplistic to say this, why not seek out a Catholic date? A marriage built on shared faith is a lot more likely to endure.

 

[ThatOneDudeAlex]

The larger issue here is that of your long-term intentions. Is this just an occasional date or a serious relationship? Myriad experiences, told by those who’ve traveled this road, are that you’re setting yourself up for problems. Few marriages built on differing but strongly held beliefs, endure. What seems minor at troth becomes a wall as time moves along. How will the children be raised? Our faith usually deepens as we age. Conversions happen, but not often. While it sounds simplistic to say this, why not seek out a Catholic date? A marriage built on shared faith is a lot more likely to endure.

And that’s where it gets… confusing. At my age, I don’t think it’s wise for me to say that we’ll get married or anything. But I’ve never been into casual dating. If I’m dating, it’s for a real relationship. I seem to have found one. And keep in mind, religion isn’t everything. She has good morals, she’s a great student, she’s fun to be around, and I just really enjoy time spent with her. I would definitely prefer to be dating a Catholic, but despite the differences, I’m happy to keep her in my life, just because she’s Christian. You raise good points, and they’re all things that should be addressed with her at some point, but we’re not there yet.

“Young love is dumb love, but love nonetheless.”

 

[Melchior_1]

And that’s where it gets… confusing. At my age, I don’t think it’s wise for me to say that we’ll get married or anything. But I’ve never been into casual dating. If I’m dating, it’s for a real relationship. I seem to have found one. And keep in mind, religion isn’t everything. She has good morals, she’s a great student, she’s fun to be around, and I just really enjoy time spent with her. I would definitely prefer to be dating a Catholic, but despite the differences, I’m happy to keep her in my life, just because she’s Christian. You raise good points, and they’re all things that should be addressed with her at some point, but we’re not there yet.

“Young love is dumb love, but love nonetheless.”

A lot of people say “you should only date Catholics”*. If I followed this advice I’d be missing a wife and a very handsome (if sometimes tyrannical) seven month old.

Take things slow, and eventually talk to her about these things. About kids, infant Baptism, other such items.

It can work, but like Ross was saying it’d be hard But some things in life are worth it.

 

[Cat]

My great aunt-and great-uncle were happily married for 75 years. They both died in their 90s. She died before he did, and for the last few years of his life, he dedicated himself to a ministry that he created where he drove to various nursing homes, visited the residents, and played hymns for them on a portable recorder (the best technology available at that time). Only a year before he died, he drove (all by himself) cross-country to see the Grand Canyon.

He was Catholic, she was Lutheran.

All those years, he went to early Mass on Sundays at his parish, and then attended Lutheran worship services with her.

They never had children. I’m not sure if they couldn’t have children or chose not to . I rather suspect that they couldn’t have children. They seemed a very loving couple, even in their old age.

Everyone loved this couple. You know how there are people in every family that everyone dislikes and gossips about. Well, our family is full of those types! But my great-aunt and great-uncle were univerally LOVED by everyone in our family, in spite of the fact that my great-uncle is the ONLY Catholic in the family (until my husband and I converted).

All my life, I heard my parents say things like, “He might be a Catholic, but he’s a good one.” No one in our family criticized the Catholic Church because they all knew that our uncle was Catholic, and he was wonderful!

When he died, the Catholic church that he faithfully attended and supported all his life was filled–half Catholic and half Lutheran. It was a real funeral Mass, with no “ecumenical” dilution of the liturgy.

He never lost his Catholic faith, but he never criticized anyone else’s faith either.

I would say that his testimony and good life is one of the Top Ten reasons why my husband and I converted to Catholicism.

I’m not saying that the OP should date a non-Catholic. I think he is playing with fire. I think that more often than not, Catholics end up losing their Catholic faith when they become romantically-involved with someone who is not Catholic.

But it can work out. Of course, my great-aunt and great-uncle were not involved in an evangelical Protestant church. These tend to be much more vigorous and well-organized in their efforts to convert Catholics to “true Christianity.”

So my final word is, “Take care.”

 

[Love_Divine]

Your priest is wrong about “actively participating”. Catholics are only permitted to passively participate at protestant services. You may stand when they stand, and sit when they sit. You may not receive communion, sing their hymns, pray their prayers, etc. We’re also not supposed to attend their services on a regular weekly basis.

#2 Mar 28, '08, 2:30 pm
Fr. Vincent Serpa
Catholic Answers Apologist Join Date: May 4, 2004
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 2,610

Re: Protestant Communion

---

Hi,

In the first place a Catholic has no business attending Protestant church services even occasionally. To participate in a heretical worship service and especially a communion service can be sinful for a Catholic because such an act is an affirmation of what we believe to be untrue.

To attend an ecumenical service or a wedding or baptism is allowed, but Catholics are not allowed to attend such churches for the main reason of worship.

Now if there are no Catholic churches in the vicinity on a Sunday, Catholics are allowed to participate in the Liturgy of Churches whose clergy are validly ordained such as the Eastern Orthodox Churches—including the reception of the Eucharist.

Although we consider them to be in schism (not in union with the Pope) with the Catholic Church, such Churches are not heretical and share our basic beliefs.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

 

[TimothyH]

You may have some people posting shortly who will tell you that you shouldn’t be going there at all period.

As for me…

I used to date a girl who was Baptist. She said that Catholics weren’t Christian, and she made statements about the Church that weren’t true. I found that no matter how hard I tried, I could not communicate well with her. After a few months she said for me to date her I would need to give up my faith, because she could only date Christians. Obviously that was unacceptable, so we parted ways.

After that situation, I told myself I wouldn’t be caught with my pants down like that again. I would have more than just “pat” answers, and I would be able to deliver them effectively. So I started studying, learning. Writing. Teaching. Preaching. Not again, I told myself.

A few years later, I met another girl. Non-denominational. She had negative experiences with Catholics before, but decided to try out the whole relationship thing with me. Eventually, I used to go every week to her church, then I would go to Mass in the evening (sometimes she would come with). I never, not once, participated in their communion. And not just because my Church said I couldn’t, but because if I’m going to receive communion I wanted to it be the Real Deal. But I still went every week. During that time I would talk to her and her family, her Pastor, others who went and corrected them when they said something misleading about Catholicism. I would discuss the sermon with them and give the Catholic perspective. Her and I would discuss things often, with me not Bible or Catechism thumping, but instead telling her “this is what we believe, here are some other resources for you to check”. She’s an academic oriented woman, so I knew she would check those resources.

A couple of years later, she tells me that due to her own study, the witness of myself through my actions and words, seeing the community I was involved in, she was converting. We took RCIA together, with myself as her sponsor as she was Confirmed. Now we run RCIA together, and she may be joining me in my possible journey with the Lay Dominicans. We’ve been married three years, with a seven month old child.

I said “not again”, and I stood by that. I still stand by it.

If you’re going to do this, arm yourself. Build yourself up, learn. Study. Discuss things with her, grow in your faith.

And stand firm. It’s a powerful witness when you refuse their communion. Just make sure you’re able to explain why.

Yes, wonderful!

 

[puzzleannie]

What about their communion? I know it’s not the Eucharist, but I’m not entirely certain I feel comfortable receiving it. .

I find it difficult to believe that having asked about this matter on CAF and two priests no where have you ever heard that it is absolutely forbidden for you to receive communion at an Protestant service. by all means ask your priest again since his answer was incomplete, or you misunderstood, if he left the impression that this was permissible. I hope you also understood from them that you are still required to meet your Sunday Catholic Mass obligation every week.

Since you don’t know such a basic teaching about Eucharist it also raises doubt that your own Catholic Faith is strong enough to allow you to participate without risk or danger to your faith in Protestant worship on a regular basis.

 

[Love_Divine]

I find it difficult to believe that having asked about this matter on CAF and two priests no where have you ever heard that it is absolutely forbidden for you to receive communion at an Protestant service. by all means ask your priest again since his answer was incomplete, or you misunderstood, if he left the impression that this was permissible. I hope you also understood from them that you are still required to meet your Sunday Catholic Mass obligation every week.

Since you don’t know such a basic teaching about Eucharist it also raises doubt that your own Catholic Faith is strong enough to allow you to participate without risk or danger to your faith in Protestant worship on a regular basis.

Especially a Baptist service! They’re not fond of Catholics at all, and insist our form of Baptism is invalid. If I was this guy, I’d stay far away from this Baptist service. Also, what about this girl’s parents? How do they feel about your Catholicism?

 

[Melchior_1]

Your priest is wrong about “actively participating”. Catholics are only permitted to passively participate at protestant services. You may stand when they stand, and sit when they sit. You may not receive communion, sing their hymns, pray their prayers, etc. We’re also not supposed to attend their services on a regular weekly basis.

The quote you provided from Father didn’t say anything about singing hymns or praying their prayers, especially if they are ones we actually believe in. It mostly speaks about receiving their communion, and that it shouldn’t be your main place of worship (which in this case, it isn’t). There’s also the use of the term “can be sinful”, not “is sinful”. Yes, I’m splitting hairs

That said, I agree that being a passive participant is the way to go. But if he’s going out of Charity and love for his girlfriend, that’s much different than the place being his primary place of worship.

 

[Melchior_1]

Not all Baptists think our Baptism is invalid, and not all of them think such negative things about Catholicism.

Alex, make sure you know your own faith before you go to her services. You need to know what the Catholic Church teaches first and foremost. If I went to my now-wife’s services without being prepared, the outcome would have been much different than what it is today.

 

[Contarini]

Your priest is wrong about “actively participating”. Catholics are only permitted to passively participate at protestant services. You may stand when they stand, and sit when they sit. You may not receive communion, sing their hymns, pray their prayers, etc. We’re also not supposed to attend their services on a regular weekly basis.

This is just bizarre.

What if the hymns or prayers are compatible with Catholicism?

I mean, Catholics use some Protestant hymns. You probably think they shouldn’t, but again, that seems irrational.

What’s un-Catholic about this:

The last stanza could almost be a paraphrase of the Council of Trent’s doctrine of merit (though probably Charles Wesley would be horrified to hear it).

If this is Catholicism, I will never, ever be Catholic. I know that there is grace and goodness and truth in Protestantism, and I will not turn my back on grace and goodness and truth.

And yet, I believe that I ought to be in communion with Rome.

I believe these two things with equal strength and for essentially the same reasons.

Edwin

 

[Zhenia]

Why not find a Tridentine Catholic Mass to attend and maybe you will meet a Traditional Catholic girl there? You know, in the “old days” it was a mortal sin to date a non-Catholic, leta lone attend their services actively. And as much as people like to say the Catholic Church does not believe in the Bible, that IS based on Scripture:

*Bear not the yoke with unbelievers. For what participation hath justice with injustice? Or what fellowship hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath the faithful with the unbeliever?

16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God; as God saith: I will dwell in them, and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. *
Douay Rheims Catholic Bible, 2 Cor. 6