ACTS retreat

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I don’t know if you are directing your post toward me or not, puzzleannie, but I’d like you to read my posts and understand that I don’t want hubby to share his retreat experience with me. I was eager to hear all about the retreat at first and asked a few questions (I’d been told how moved he would be at Candle Light, that it was so important that I write something to him too and I haven’t heard anything about that). His response was that the retreat experience was great and I’d have to go myself to find out what made it so great. You have to admit that that is a bit odd and a bit off-putting. One of the ladies at church who had been on the ladies retreat asked me a few days after hubby’s ended if he was still high on his retreat experience. I told her that I didn’t know, I guessed so, that we hadn’t talked about it because of the “What happens at ACTS, stays at ACTS” rule. She gave me an odd look and just said, “Men!”

He apparently has had a deep, profound, religious experience that he has no desire to share with me. It is his own and I understand that he has his own life to live and has every right to keep it private. Fine. But, what about the rest of our lives together? When is he going to stop shutting me out? The retreat ended a couple of weeks ago. When is he going to be back from it?
 
I was making a general comment on the topic, which has been brought up here before, not a specific response to a specific individual other than to use this thread as an example.

It might very well be, and responders here are more qualified and more perceptive than I to discern, that this or any other retreat or spiritual experience may serve to highlight existing communications problems in a marriage, and may become the spark that causes the couple to deal with those issues. If so, then the issue existed before the retreat, and was not caused by the retreat, or by the “rules” of the retreat. If that sounds like an avenue anyone could profitably explore, so be it.

I often wonder, since it seems at least Peter and probably other of the disciples if not actual apostles had wives still living when they had their own life-changing encounter with Christ, how those wives reacted. That certainly would challenge any marriage–“give up your job, leave your home and family, and come follow Me.”
 
SwizzleStick,
I will have to say that I am also a very shy person. I am the kind person that you would probably see sitting in the back by myself. I was surprised that I even signed up for something like this without having a friend go with me. I was quite uncomfortable, but once I was on the bus, I started having conversations with others and started to relax.
Another point I will add is that you don’t have to share anything if you don’t feel comfortable. I did not share much with this group. I just totally enjoyed listening to others. I am not a talker, more of a listener.
Many times in the past I have decided not to do something just because I am such an introvert.
 
I thank all of you for your responses. You generously responded to my hurt and bewilderment and for that I am thankful. I especially thank each of you for your kind, compassionate and understanding responses. They did aid in my comprehension and acceptance of the changes in my husband. I also thank you all for your prayers for my family and for myself.

While some of my husband’s behavior and choices continued to baffle me at first, things have improved. I now understand that he is simply trying to find a balance in living day-to-day life with this stronger faith within him. I have also seen other changes that are entirely positive. For example, he now says the rosary daily and spends much more time in prayer. He tries to be more patient and loving with the children. He underwent profound religious experiences and they were shared with other ACTS retreatants. The experiences are theirs and theirs alone. These men ARE a part of an exclusive group, but I understand now that that is not necessarily a bad thing. While they are on fire with faith and love for our Lord and are called to share the Truth and their excitement about it, they also must strike a balance with keeping the confidences entrusted to them. I get it now and I appreciate each of you helping me get there. It took a bit of doing, but now I see.

Thanks to all of you. May God bless you!
 
Okay! I have been on one of these ACTS retreats and although they are filled with beautiful skits, singing, reflections and personal testimones. I still do not like that everything is kept secret to me it does not make sense. The only thing that I can see that would be kept secret is the personal testimones, which I have no problem with but the skits and the singing and what you took from the retreat should be shared. From my understand NO RETREAT is done the same. So why not share your experience! Jesus said to proclaim his word not keep it secret. When I lived my Cursio I was told to spread the word of God and given the tools to live my life through HIM. ACTS is drived from the Cursio as another stepping stone to your walk with Christ. It should be share with those who have not lived it so that they may want to have those same experiences. Even though I have lived the ACTS retreat I am still kept out and made to feel like I am not apart of the ACTS members. I never felt this way with my fellow Cursio’s. Overall it was a good experience. Without the secrets!

🙂
 
I just went on the ACTS Retreat in May 2008. It was life changing for me and I am a cradle catholic! I say just go to the September Retreat…what do you have to lose? I promise you will truly come away from it spiritually renewed and it will make you love your husband more than you ever did!
 
Donna63,

I did go on the ACTS retreat in March 2008. It sounds as if I experienced the same thing as you. It definitely was a life changing experience for me too! Before this, I never realized how much God truly loves each and every one of us. I am trying to get all my sister’s to go on the retreat in April 2009. One is now Lutheran and the other has not gone to church in years. Could you please say a prayer that these 2 sisters will accept this calling from God.

Blesssings to you!🙂
 
I would be most honored to pray for your two sisters. I have a request of you. I have two sister-in-law’s that are apprehensive about going, and one is so bitter about the many burdens that God has bestowed on her. I know God would grant her healing and peace if she would just attend a retreat. Would you please pray for these two women? With pray all things are possible!
God Bless You,
Donna
 
Donna,
Yes, with prayer all things are possible! I too am honored to pray for your 2 sister-in-laws.

God Bless You!
 
Just reading this thread makes me want to go!!
(I’m not real good at being quiet though, I’ll consider taking duct tape if its partly a silent retreat.)😃
 
allhers,
YES! YES! You should attend! I personally had a wonderful experience. Go into the retreat with an open mind. I attended mine after also hearing wonderful things about it. I just had to go see for myself what was so wonderful about this retreat. WOW! I now am on the other side convincing other people to attend. Think about it. You have nothing to lose.

Blessings to you!
 
I have a number of problems with the ACT retreats.
First off too many of these retreats equate emotionalism with spiritualism. There is such a thing as an emotional high but I don’t think there is such a thing as a spiritual “high.” If you watch Televangelists proclaiming “feel the power of the Holy Spirit.” Do you feel the prescience of Christ in the Eucharist? Do you feel your soul being washed of sins, that if you didn’t feel it you wouldn’t believe it?

As Archbishop Luis Martinez (a mystic in the tradition of Saint John of the Cross), who had an influence on Vatican II’s emphasis on the Holy Spirit, said: “Faith is for knowing and believing, not feeling.”

Something else Martinez said was that “Weak souls put on spiritual show. Like village maddens wearing pretty ribbons and bows thinking that will somehow attract social favors onto them, week souls put on spiritual show believing that will somehow attract God’s favors onto them.” I see a lot of spiritual show from ACTS youtube.com/watch?v=gERHQ2Uh_rA&feature=related

When ACTS first came to the parish a lot of people were put off by the big cross ACTS “members” wear. I mentioned it to my wife. She said, “What’s the difference in the one I’m wearing and one they wear.” She had on a small crucifix. I said, “The one you’re wearing anyone can wear, it’s inclusive. The one they wear only ACTS people can wear, it’s exclusive. The cross is supposed to be a symbol of unity but ACTS treats it like a sorority pin.” When I went to my wife’s candlelight service it was specifically said that the cross represented their becoming a member of the ACTS community. I think the accusation of ACTS putting up a wall between those who’ve been to ACTS and those don’t want to go is justified. Even our priest has made note of it at mass.

I’ve been to retreats whose goal is to create a kind of engineered emotional reaction from the retreatant. I don’t care to attend any more like them but you should see the dirty looks I’ve gotten from ACTS members attempting to fill a retreat’s 40 quota and who believe I will never attend an ACTS retreat. The whole purpose of keeping these retreats secrete isn’t to maximize spiritualism/spirituality, since Faith is a gift from God and can’t be manipulated by retreat organizers; it’s to maximize the emotionalism within the retreatants. That’s not a bad thing IMO unless IMO you equate psychological emotionalism to supernatural spritualism.

Mother Teresa suffered with her own Dark Night of Faith time.com/time/printout/0,8816,1655415,00.html. Is all she needed for a spritual pick-me-up was attend a weekend ACTS retreat?
 
There is nothing wrong with having a good emotional time. There is nothing wrong with feeling joy. There was nothing “showy” about the video. Then men are singing with Joy to God…reaching up to their Dad…just as a child does to his Father. Would you ridicule your son or daughter for running to you yelling your name when you come home? Is that “showy”. No.

You won’t always “Feel” God, sure. But people are adults and and figure this out in their own journey.

The idea of having a specific cross is also from TEC. It makes sense VERY MUCH so because of the bond you feel with other retreatants. You see the cross…and you know you have something in common with them. It’s a smaller more real understanding of belonging to the bigger church.

you are incorrect about the reason it is “secret”. I can tell you what happens, but it would not mean anything. Experiencing it is what makes the process work.

This is a tried and true process that has very deep roots in the psychological and evangelistic factors of today’s person…all focused on Christ.

Yes, there are specific people that might not direct a particular one very well, but the retreat itself is very ground in the very aspects of the faith that aid evangelism.
 
agapewolf said:
There is nothing wrong with having a good emotional time. There is nothing wrong with feeling joy. There was nothing “showy” about the video. Then men are singing with Joy to God…reaching up to their Dad…just as a child does to his Father. Would you ridicule your son or daughter for running to you yelling your name when you come home? Is that “showy”. No.

You won’t always “Feel” God, sure. But people are adults and and figure this out in their own journey.

The idea of having a specific cross is also from TEC. It makes sense VERY MUCH so because of the bond you feel with other retreatants. You see the cross…and you know you have something in common with them. It’s a smaller more real understanding of belonging to the bigger church.

you are incorrect about the reason it is “secret”. I can tell you what happens, but it would not mean anything. Experiencing it is what makes the process work.

This is a tried and true process that has very deep roots in the psychological and evangelistic factors of today’s person…all focused on Christ.

Yes, there are specific people that might not direct a particular one very well, but the retreat itself is very ground in the very aspects of the faith that aid evangelism.
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So much of what you said only affirmed my belief. You defind ACTS as though you were defending a fraternity. I’ve heard the complaint repeatedly from those who have not been. Whenever a group of ACTS members are together talking and a non member goes up to talk to his/her friends they shut up as if a sacred space has been violated.

This belies your argument because it means there’s no reason to be secritive: “you are incorrect about the reason it is “secret”. I can tell you what happens, but it would not mean anything. Experiencing it is what makes the process work.”

The “process” is a psychological process is it not? Been there done that in other retreats. They remind me of something borrowed from the pop psy movements of 1970’s. There’s nothing wrong with feeling emotions. That’s a very human thing. It when those emotions are manipulated through a process and equated to religious Faith. There is a very real division within parishes that’s been created between those who are ACTS members and those who are not.
 
Doug50 said:
So much of what you said only affirmed my belief. You defind ACTS as though you were defending a fraternity. I’ve heard the complaint repeatedly from those who have not been. Whenever a group of ACTS members are together talking and a non member goes up to talk to his/her friends they shut up as if a sacred space has been violated.

This belies your argument because it means there’s no reason to be secritive: “you are incorrect about the reason it is “secret”. I can tell you what happens, but it would not mean anything. Experiencing it is what makes the process work.”

The “process” is a psychological process is it not? Been there done that in other retreats. They remind me of something borrowed from the pop psy movements of 1970’s. There’s nothing wrong with feeling emotions. That’s a very human thing. It when those emotions are manipulated through a process and equated to religious Faith. There is a very real division within parishes that’s been created between those who are ACTS members and those who are not.
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Just to clarify. I’ve never been on an ACTS retreat.

I have studied the processes very thuroughly…The emotions are NOT equated to religious faith. It is honoring emotions are they are, as GOD GAVE US THEM, to honor him. To fall in love with him more.

Just as people would be whispering about your surprise birthday party, so would they about something that is an amazing experience and they don’t want to ruin it for you. Its to honor you, not exclude you.

Perhaps people can let go of their pride to stop feeling “excluded” as a junior high person and be open to the wonderful experiences that God has available to them.

Every single person that “complains” prior to going then changes their tune once they go because they understand the experience and don’t want to ruin it for anyone else.
 
Not ever body likes surprise birthday parties. Yet these retreats treat everyone as though they should. It’s claimed you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. What if you didn’t want to take part in something like the candlelight induction service into the ACTS community and you didn’t know is was coming since its supposed to be a surprise? There’s a lot of social pressure that ACTS puts onto others who may not want to take part in it. The solicitation of love letters is just one example. I know others who left/quit the retreat because it wasn’t for them. Maybe they should’ve known what it was about beforehand. I have told others point blank that I dont’ care to go to anymore retreats that put such an emphasis on emotionalism. That falls on deaf ears. Ever six months or so when a retreat is schedualed the organizers are under social pressure, as well as financial pressure, to fill the 40 or so quota. The ones who haven’t been and pretend to be riding the fence get browbeaten from social pressure every six months to attend the upcoming retreat. Our priest has asked that this pressure stop but it hasn’t.
 
agapewolf said:
The idea of having a specific cross is also from TEC. It makes sense VERY MUCH so because of the bond you feel with other retreatants. You see the cross…and you know you have something in common with them. It’s a smaller more real understanding of belonging to the bigger church.
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Doug50 said:
What if you didn’t want to take part in something like the candlelight induction service into the ACTS community and you didn’t know is was coming since its supposed to be a surprise?
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So far on this thread, nobody has explained the purpose of the “ACTS community”. What does this mean? What are people being inducted into?

Does the ACTS retreat intend to create a subgroup, or “clique” of ACTS members within a parish, which grows after every retreat, and seeks to encompass the entire parish? This would certainly be divisive. Merely attending a parish should be enough to feel included – now everyone has to attend a special retreat to be fully accepted as a parishioner?

There are numerous other lay groups in the Church, such as Communion and Liberation, Regnum Christi, Opus Dei, and various 3rd orders, the Neocatechumenals, etc. All of them are completely open regarding the nature, goals, and charism of the group. In contrast, it sounds like the ACTS post-retreat community remains secretive until you actually join it!

I found a link to the official ACTS site, but most of the information is in a part of the website that you’re not allowed to access unless you have already been inducted into the ACTS community…surprise surprise…
actsmissions.org/information/index.htm
 
So far on this thread, nobody has explained the purpose of the “ACTS community”. What does this mean? What are people being inducted into?
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Does the ACTS retreat intend to create a subgroup, or “clique” of ACTS members within a parish, which grows after every retreat, and seeks to encompass the entire parish?
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Yes.
This would certainly be divisive. Merely attending a parish should be enough to feel included – now everyone has to attend a special retreat to be fully accepted as a parishioner?
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Once you attend a retreat the ACTS mission isn’t suppose to be over, although some don’t go further with the misson. People who attend then form into weekly prayer groups who meet at someone’s home, for example. At the retreat there is an emphasis on hugging fellow retreatants that follows through after the retreat in public, although that isn’t so prominant as time has passed. You might be at a parish or public function talking and fellow members will come up to each other and embrace with a hug with the non-members just standing there in observation. The community also keeps in touch through group emails. Maybe I shouldn’t mention this but I heard that one woman was truned away from a prayer group because she hadn’t attended a retreat yet. But someone did tell me that a member told him he needs to attend because his spouse was now up here and he was still down here. LOL IMO that kind of thing comes out of an emphasis on emotionalism at these type of retreats.
There are numerous other lay groups in the Church, such as Communion and Liberation, Regnum Christi, Opus Dei, and various 3rd orders, the Neocatechumenals, etc. All of them are completely open regarding the nature, goals, and charism of the group. In contrast, it sounds like the ACTS post-retreat community remains secretive until you actually join it!
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They are certainly secretive about the retreat. I was told it’s a vow of confidentiality. ACTS seems to be structured like a fraternity but it’s not exclusive in that anyone, even non-catholics may attend. The mission is to get everyone to attend…but like a suprise birthday party it’s assumed eveyone should like the “process.” Myself, I don’t like being made a fuss over. The solicited love letters and espicially the candlelight service makes a fuss over each retreatant.

Like a fraternity, they refer to each other as YBIC/YSIC (your brother in Christ) and like a fraternity, if even just suttle, they set themselves apart from the non ACTS parish members. That’s not done deliberately. It just happens. Like I said, I’ve heard the complain for a number of people about ACTS members talking together about ACTS and when they walk up to talk to their ACTS friends the friends shut up and get quit as if a sacred covenient has been violated. I personally haven’t experienced that, though. But like agapewolf said these ACTS crossrd are worn outside so as to be able to identify with other members who shared in the experience, like a fraternity pin. People don’t pay much attention to that any more and most now wear their cross under their shirt as a personal reminder/devotion. You could say the newness has kind of worn off.
I found a link to the official ACTS site, but most of the information is in a part of the website that you’re not allowed to access unless you have already been inducted into the ACTS community…surprise surprise…
actsmissions.org/information/index.htm
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Not a surpise to me.
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Question: In the Rubics’ After Communion and Concluding Rites it says something like announcments may be given and the priest may give a blessing to the People or for some other solemn occation. Aside from I don’t know this person knows these 42 men are saved is this in keeping with the Rubrics - seems to me it is not but I’m not sure? 42 Men Saved
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Now to be far most who attend have made these kind of witness youtube.com/watch?v=PKm13NlFSTI
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My question to them is, what is the Church doing wrong if you have to attend a secritive ACTS retreat to attain their spritual transformation? And should Mother Teresa have been afforded ACTS since her Dark Night lasted for so many years?
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