Addicted husband

  • Thread starter Thread starter Falcon411
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
F

Falcon411

Guest
What do the teachings of the catholic marriage say about husbands who have a drug problem.
My husband of 8 yrs is addicted to kratom. He’s very high functioning, has a good job and is a great husband and father. I love him. However this isn’t how pictured things. He went to rehab last year with I was pregnant with our third baby. He used the day he got out. I’ve been going to alalon and it helps but these are the questions that play in my head
“Is this my suffering”
“Do I just pray for him in silent and be a good example”
“Are m our kids better with us together than divorced”
“I’d have to go work full time I order to divorce him and are our kids really better of that way?”

I really just wish I knew what to do so I can get busy doing. What’s my role in this? The kids don’t know anything yet and like I said he’s amazing on the stuff. Doesn’t like impaired.
 
I had to look up kratom as I’ve never heard of it. It says it’s legal in the US, is used to help with withdrawal from other drugs, gives people increased energy and alertness, but has unpleasant side effects such as anorexia, constipation, weight loss and others. It can cause psychotic symptoms in some users.

It doesn’t sound good, but it does sound like it won’t affect his functioning. You don’t say what the effects it has on him or on your relationship. Why do you feel you might need a divorce? Is he abusive or neglectful of you or the children?

Those are the questions to consider. The church says that when a spouse is abusive, separation is allowed for the protection of the other spouse and the children.
What does he say about it? Does he want to be freed of it?
 
It sounds like you think failing to separate from him is enabling his behavior. But to repeat Viki, what harms are being caused by this behavior? You need to look at the forest in addition to the trees.
 
The Church allows separation only for adultery or abuse. If he’s not harming you or your kids, divorce would not be justifiable. Your kids would most definitely not be better off with you two divorced.

Just try to get him help. Obviously if he were to start exposing the children to this drug then the moral calculations would change radically.
 
Hi,

I think you need to elaborate more on what is bad if he is a hard worker, great husband and father. With addiction it is very rare that you can maintain. What reason does he give you for taking Kratom? If he is taking unadulterated Kratom, he is not taking it for a high I can guarantee you that one. Now if he is just buying at random head shops, there is a very good chance that it is adulterated with a substance. That is why people who use Kratom regularly will tell you to buy it from a trusted vendor who gets their product tested to make sure it is pure and unadulterated.

Reason I know he is not getting high if his Kratom is unadulterated is I have been taking Kratom for almost a year now. I have Chronic Pain due to permanent nerve damage, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and RSD. With the prescription crack down I sought out other ways to treat my pain without Percocet or Klonopin and Kratom was one of the things that popped up. Took 3 months of research before figuring out which strain I wanted to take and that would help my pain the most.

I have never had the euphoria that I got from taking Percocet, and neither have my friends who also take it instead of narcotics. My Drs know and I have their blessings as my blood labs are now normal after more years then I can count. And can see the positive effect on my quality of living. My husband also approves of it and takes it when he has major pain. I have also stopped it for periods of time to test out the withdrawal theory and I have never had any withdrawal symptoms or cravings for Kratom. Only the original pain returns and leaves me bedridden. The one good thing about Kratom that is unadulterated is if you take to much, you throw it up, no overdosing.

They are also researching using Kratom as a treatment for Opioid withdrawal and are quite successful. Try going to the American Kratom association and educate yourself, because depending on the strain, beside pain, it will help with energy and mood.
 
Assuming you live in a State that hasn’t banned kratom (only a few have) I’m not sure I see the problem here…
 
I’m against addictions. I feel like they take from the value of our marriage. He isn’t neglectful or abusive. We get along just fine. We love each other. I just really want him to stop as he’s not being a good example. I want so much more for our family and knows he is capable of more. I want so badly for our family to demonstrate the domestic church and how can it with him addicted? I want to be a leader and example in church as well. I feel like the addiction holds him back. He’s been freed from porn addiction and alcohol as well.
 
As a nurse practitioner in psychiatry I see a lot of children very messed up from their parents divorce.

I fear my children will hate me for not leaving him but that could be the devil.

If I know my job is to stand by his side and do everything to help and support him and pray, I can do that.

I don’t want to enable him and be a door mat.
 
No it’s legal. Ok I see your point but what about him not being able to function off of it. Literally he’s addicted and can not get out of bed without it.
 
Hi thank you for your reply

My husband can’t get out of bed without kratom. He used it for energy and “feel good”. He’ll lay in bed until 3 pm (if he’s trying to detox) and then go use. Yes he used pure stuff and uses approx 80 grams a day. That’s a lot. He is definitely dependent on it. He used to be addicted to opiates as well about -0yrs ago.
He has a very addictive personality as well.
No pain issue. He’s taken it for the last 2 yrs. says he’s gonna stop but can’t. Literally. He went to detox twice trying to get off of it. Seems like a problem to me though.
 
Falcon411 said:
As a nurse practitioner in psychiatry I see a lot of children very messed up from their parents divorce.

I fear my children will hate me for not leaving him but that could be the devil.
Click to expand...
I can’t say what your children will think. I can’t say how they will be impacted. I can only say that in my experience a home with serious addiction and some violence was better than a broken home. Neither are good of course.
 
80 Grams that is one heck of dosing during the day and very expensive, the only people I know who use that much are ones using it to get off opioids. And that depends on how bad they are suffering with PAWS. Also he should not go cold turkey it will never work especially if he is substituting Kratom for opioids. If he wants to get stop taking Kratom he should do it slowly for example cutting 1 gram for a week etc.

What did detox do to get him off of Kratom or opioids for that matter? Does he include you in his therapy sessions while detoxing? One thing about recovery is making amends with those you have hurt. And to be open and honest in what happens. Seems to me that either you or we are missing part of the puzzle.

You also need to realize once an addict always an addict. You just don’t make it go away ever, it is always there waiting to rear it’s ugly head. I would not be pushing him to be something he is not capable of doing right now. Is he still going to meetings for his addictions? That is a big part of recovery and keeps clean and sober.
 
He’s been off opioids for 10 yes. Very familiar with addictions and the 12 steps. I’m in alalon and we actually met in AA 14 years ago. I’ve been sober since but he’s struggled. Not going to meetings since he’s still using kratom. As you knowaddicts can control their using. He’s tried weaning but he can’t. He does get high off of it but not like an opiate High.
 
Can not control ***

He underestimated this stuff and thinks he can do it once.

As my marriage goes am I suppose to just pray and be still? Or separate? I’m trying to find other solutions where he does t have to leave for treatment again but he can’t stop. Do I just let it go and not worry since I can’t do anything anyways. We have 3 kids under 5 yrs old. He helps me a to with them. It’s hard to have him gone to treatment For 30 + days
 
So you get along great and it doesn’t sound like Kratom is causing any problems other than you don’t like it and feel he should stop. This seems more about control than anything. What does his Dr. think? Does his doc agree with your addiction assessment? What does he say about the Kratom use in light of the fact that it’s helped keep your husband off opiates for a decade?

Count yourself lucky. Opiate addiction is life-threatening; you could’ve lost him for good. In comparison, Kratom is annoying. Based off of everything you’ve said in this thread, if you actually leave your husband and destroy your kids’ family over this, I’d say you’re right and you definitely have a problem in your marriage - but it’s not the Kratom.
 
I see your point. I appreciate all the responses. I’m my mind it’s the worst thing but there’s a lot worse and a lot to be grateful for.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top