Addicted to masturbation?

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I have been struggling with this sin for a long time. It started off as me not knowing it was bad, until about a year ago (I’ve had this addiction for about 3 years) and in all sincerity try to stop. I don’t want to hurt my relationship with God, but knowing I already have because it was a mortal sin, I don’t feel loved. I confessed to it last week, and honestly, it was one of the happiest times of my life, I wasn’t angry, upset, just happy, and felt totally at peace. However, I broke that chain of peace through my own weaknesses. I have committed it 3 times sinse last Saturday, and feel ashamed. I feel to ashamed to pray, knowing I have affected my relationship with God in such a way. I pray for protection against it, but I always just feel weak. I don’t even know if when I’m in my state of mortal sin like I am now, if God is even listening to my prayers. I feel like a shell of my old self, and before all of this happened my heart felt pure, I could actually feel peace in it. Now, I just feel dirty, impure, ungodly, like my soul is being held under a huge object. My brothers and sisters of the faith, how did you break this awful sin?
Feeling ashamed to pray is a temptation of the devil. He wants to keep you away from God. Many, many, people struggle with masturbation. I did for years. It is possible to overcome by the grace of God and the help of the Blessed Mother. Keep doing what you are doing - pray, go to confession, and my personal suggestions, do small penances as often as you can. I say small, because the temptation can be to do big ones and get carried away with them. We think (or at least I would think) I did a big sin, and so I have to hurt myself for it, and that is unhealthy thinking. Do small things like, giving up sugar in your coffee, or not eating any sweets that day, or instead of “nots” doing extras like, going to adoration for 15 minutes a day (if you can) or reading scripture or spiritual reading for ___ minutes a day.

Exercise is also a great help and positive distractions, like a craft or hobby are great too in times of temptation.

Matt Fradd is a great speaker on the subject. I suggest you take a look at his website and listen to some of his talks.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, and NEVER believe that God stops loving you. God always loves you no matter what. He is there with you in your struggles every step of the way.
 
Shaming and guilt-tripping people about their sins is as vile as the sins themselves. Instead of ‘avoiding despair’ it leads people into it. Self-loathing can bring a person to the brink of suicide.
I am saying he should pay attention to shame and keep it in check. (Healthy shame and despair are not the same thing.) I am not “shaming” him. I am certainly not telling him to loathe himself–and I doubt that would be a consequence of someone reading my comment.

Perhaps you disagree that there is anything wrong with masturbation, but I assume we both agree that there is nothing wrong with feeling shame, at least in principle. Someone who commits a murder, for example, should be ashamed–should he not? (It goes without saying that this is not a comparison of masturbation to murder. I am instead showing that the idea that there is something wrong with shame itself, is wrong. Shame is uncomfortable, to be sure. But it’s a natural response to realizing that we’ve done something wrong. It should not control oneself or lead one into self-hate, but neither should it be quelled by convincing oneself that one has done nothing wrong.)
 
They are not morally corrupt because first of all human beings are different from the rest of the animals in the animal Kingdom in that we humans have a conscience, rationality and free will - something animals don’t have. Animals don’t have free will in that they are bound by their natural instincts.
I don’t believe that humans have free will either. But that aside, it’s a simple question: why then did God create animals that rape each other?
 
Greetings,
Confession, great tool. Prayer, great tool. Part of confession in the catholic tradition is penance. I guess usually say some hail marys or our fathers etc. not really sure. But from this little bit of knowledge that I have of the catholic tradition I decided to view not masturbating as my form of penance for all past sins(bad behavior on my part) ie: lying, masturbating, getting drunk, etc. etc. etc. each time the urge came up I told myself that I wouldn’t because it was my penance not to. That was about 8 or so months ago-all is going fine. Still have an urge once in a great while but it passes very quickly. Penence can be a wonderful to as well as prayer, fasting(in this case from masturbating) and alms giving. With the help of the holy spirit it has worked for me. Blessings-take care.**
 
confession EVERY SATURDAY!!! Has absolutely changed my life and will continue to change it. Fasting also helps, you won’t want to think about sexual sins when you’re starving. Mother Angelica says do it and drop it, if you do it don’t despair it’s a problem that almost all men have, whether in their heads or their actions. Just accept the fact that it might be a temptation your whole life, and one day it won’t rule you. 👍
 
I wasn’t aware sharks did that too, I know dolphins certainly do. Although I’m interested, do you think animals are morally corrupt for doing this? Isn’t it just their nature? How God created them? Or do they have free will too and are being tested just like us?

Anyway, it was only part of my point - that masturbation isn’t ‘unnatural’. To see whether it’s as bad as you say it is you have to look at whether it hurts anyone, infringes on their rights, etc. I don’t think it does. Otherwise there’d be laws against it (just don’t do it in public, I guess).
No, morality implies a choice in the matter between good and evil (just as the book of psalms starts out with), animals don’t have a rational soul, they just follow their inclinations. Calling the forcible copulation of sharks “rape” is a moral judgement that implies that animals have a rational soul to make judgements with, which they don’t.

However if masturbation is natural because animals do it, so is forcible copulation. Things aren’t just natural and therefore fine just because they happen in nature among other animals. As Richard Dawkins said in one of his more honest reflections of the consequences of atheism:

“The total amount of suffering per year in the natural world is beyond all decent contemplation. During the minute that it takes me to compose this sentence, thousands of animals are being eaten alive, many others are running for their lives, whimpering with fear, others are slowly being devoured from within by rasping parasites, thousands of all kinds are dying of starvation, thirst, and disease. It must be so. If there ever is a time of plenty, this very fact will automatically lead to an increase in the population until the natural state of starvation and misery is restored. In a universe of electrons and selfish genes, blind physical forces and genetic replication, some people are going to get hurt, other people are going to get lucky, and you won’t find any rhyme or reason in it, nor any justice. The universe that we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but pitiless indifference. … We are machines for propagating DNA.”― Richard Dawkins, River Out of Eden: A Darwinian View of Life

This is however a patently unlivable world view, and this is why Mr. Dawkins himself is an inveterate moralist.
Human beings do not have free will. They are threatened with the fires of Hell if they follow their natural instincts as their animal counterparts do. A person does not have free will with a gun held to his head.
No, human beings have free will.
Shaming and guilt-tripping people about their sins is as vile as the sins themselves. Instead of ‘avoiding despair’ it leads people into it. Self-loathing can bring a person to the brink of suicide.
Best wishes,
Padster
Shame/guilt is your conscience telling you have done something wrong, just as surely as pain is your body telling you that you are in danger. I would not dispute however that troubled consciences due to sexual sins are usually what lead many young people to atheism around the college years.
 
Human beings do not have free will. They are threatened with the fires of Hell if they follow their natural instincts as their animal counterparts do. A person does not have free will with a gun held to his head.
I would like to point out that not believing in free will is in itself a practice of free will - because you chose not to believe it. Free will is a paradox. Anyway let’s not divert the discussion on how to deal with sexual urges into a debate about free will.
Shame/guilt is your conscience telling you have done something wrong, just as surely as pain is your body telling you that you are in danger. I would not dispute however that troubled consciences due to sexual sins are usually what lead many young people to atheism around the college years.
I would also add that shame and guilt are part of what makes us human. Anyone who doesn’t feel shame or guilt in at least one point of their lives… then they’re not human at all. Everyone experiences shame. It tells you something’s wrong with yourself. It leads people to improve themselves.
 
Shame and guilt are useful feelings to have, but only when you have done something worthy of them. Masturbation is not something to be ashamed or feel guilty about.

From a secular/legal viewpoint, there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It can be part of a healthy lifestyle and, like I’ve mentioned previously, has benefits to sexual and mental health.

From the bible, there is nothing that explicitly says masturbation is a sin. While I believe this is a church teaching [that masturbation is a sin], this has simply been ‘decided’ in the past by authority figures in the church. To add to this, there are catholic theologians who are supportive of masturbation.
 
From a secular/legal viewpoint, there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It can be part of a healthy lifestyle and, like I’ve mentioned previously, has benefits to sexual and mental health.
I don’t intend to argue whether there are positive benefits to masturbation. On the Church’s moral principles (ie. the principle of double effect), an act that is intrinsically wrong is immoral whether or not it has some good consequences. (I say, “On the Church’s moral principles…”, but these moral principles can be given separate justification. The principle of double effect, for instance, was developed by Aristotle and in recent times has been defended by atheists like Philippa Foot.)

It is not uncontroversial to say that there is nothing wrong with masturbation, in any case. It can be very addictive. (This is why even secular peoples participate in “nofap”.) Porn, of course, is very addictive as well. In my experience, it has completely altered my sexual desire. I am not sexually attracted to people and I’m unsure if I ever will be. (Others are led to sexual dissatisfaction, ie. some porn addicts report losing interest in actual sex because it is not as exciting as porn.) These are fringe cases, of course. The moral case against masturbation does not turn on them since, again, positive or negative consequences on the Catholic view do not fully determine the morality of an act. But I do not think masturbation is harmless. In a particular case, perhaps there won’t be a negative effect–I don’t know. In other cases, a teenager who is told that masturbation is harmless may be unable to enter into a normal sexual relationship for the rest of his life. If it can lead to a healthy lifestyle, then it can also lead to an unhealthy lifestyle.
From the bible, there is nothing that explicitly says masturbation is a sin.
Catholic moral positions are not all derived explicitly from the Bible. That said, Catholics do adhere strictly to the Ten Commandments, and especially their fulfillment in the Sermon on the Mount: “You have heard that it was said, “Do not commit adultery.” But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Masturbation is generally lustful, so even if there weren’t other reasons for prohibiting it (which there are), there is a biblical case against it (and a biblical case that faithful Catholics would accept–since it is in the Sermon on the Mount, the summit of the Bible’s moral teaching).
While I believe this is a church teaching [that masturbation is a sin], this has simply been ‘decided’ in the past by authority figures in the church.
This is false. Authority is sufficient for a faithful Catholic to hold the teaching, but there are separate grounds for the teaching itself. It has not merely been arbitrarily ‘decided’ on the basis of authority. There are natural law arguments against it, for instance.
To add to this, there are catholic theologians who are supportive of masturbation.
There are Catholic theologians who are supportive of abortion and euthanasia, the ordination of female priests, etc. Unfortunately there are Catholic theologians who support all kinds of nonsense. In doing so they explicitly oppose Church teaching, and the layman would be wise to disregard them.
 
Shame and guilt are useful feelings to have, but only when you have done something worthy of them. Masturbation is not something to be ashamed or feel guilty about.
Yes it is. For one, OP says he’s addicted to it. Even if you didn’t care about Catholic teaching, you’d at least see that OP is harming himself through this vice.
From a secular/legal viewpoint, there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It can be part of a healthy lifestyle and, like I’ve mentioned previously, has benefits to sexual and mental health.
From a secular/legal viewpoint, there is nothing wrong with adultery or murdering an defenseless, innocent unborn baby.

You’ve asserted that masturbation has mental or sexual benefits, however I doubt you could provide any more evidence that some psychiatrists personal opinion on the matter.

I imagine you’ll just ignore OP’s anguish over this vice he’s trapped in, but then again materialist atheists are very quick to ignore experiences that don’t fit into their materialist world view, which is why often they will ignore morality, rational inference or consciousness.
From the bible, there is nothing that explicitly says masturbation is a sin. While I believe this is a church teaching [that masturbation is a sin], this has simply been ‘decided’ in the past by authority figures in the church. To add to this, there are catholic theologians who are supportive of masturbation.
Yes the Bible condemns masturbation. Genesis 38 and the story of Onan. See also Ephesians 5:3.

But maybe tell us where in the Bible it says that all what we’re supposed to believe and practice as Christians is to be found in the Bible.

To say that the condemnation of masturbation has been “decided by authority” figures is nothing but a straw man of how the Catholic faith operates. It is in fact these supposedly catholic theologians who are these said authority figures deciding things by fiat unguided by the magisterium of the Catholic church. This is why, like Sr. Margaret Farley, they hopefully have been condemned by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, so the faithful can stay away from these wolves in sheep’s clothing (this was after 6 whole years of trying to work with Sr. Farley to correct the errors in her book, btw.)

Look OP, just in case your reading this troll here, this is the Catholic answer from the Catechism concerning masturbation:

"2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 “The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability. "
 
I’m not going to offer you spiritual advice because you and I are different in that area, but I can give a practical suggestion. Fast. Masturbating is just going to increase someone’s sexual impulses, but fasting reduces the mind’s ability to think of carnal things. It’s easy to have mental images of a certain man/woman when you’re alone with your computer, but it’s a lot more difficult when you’re fasting and taking your dog for a walk or working out.

Give it a try, even if it’s just once a week. If you’re able to fast more, then do so.
 
I’m not going to offer you spiritual advice because you and I are different in that area, but I can give a practical suggestion. Fast. Masturbating is just going to increase someone’s sexual impulses, but fasting reduces the mind’s ability to think of carnal things. It’s easy to have mental images of a certain man/woman when you’re alone with your computer, but it’s a lot more difficult when you’re fasting and taking your dog for a walk or working out.

Give it a try, even if it’s just once a week. If you’re able to fast more, then do so.
I know there’s a sticky thread in this forum where someone posted advice also recommending fasting to control desires.

Reinforcement is another good strategy as what I’ve said before. Masturbation I think is a good example of classical conditioning. If something triggers your sexual urges you would want to act on them. That’s why many people would recommend exercise and positive reinforcement (by positive reinforcement I mean rewarding yourself after a certain period of abstinence) to control these urges.

On the troll who insists that masturbation is “natural”… I don’t know. You’re just being insensitive now towards a person (and towards several people here in this thread including me) who is struggling with this kind of addiction. But that’s what trolls do so… 🤷

By the way Catholics aren’t the only people who are susceptible to masturbation addiction. There is a documentary on YouTube who are suffering from masturbation addiction, and the people who are being interviewed are not even Catholics. I would like to post it here but it shows several people doing the act itself and it might be border lining on porn. Because… you know… it’s from Channel 4 from the UK. Channel 4 is infamous for such programming.
 
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