Addicted to Sin (Masterbation)

[jmallon764]

can i just ask one question and i dont want no prayers i dont want no angry letters but let me ask this it is said that we are dirived and created in gods image so does that meen hes a mastubator does that meen he is a lesbian a gay is he a drunk is he a sinner is he pure is he honest is is he a drug addict is he addicted to sin please note im in no way insulting ur religon but i am pointing at the questions that were forrgoten on the shelves also if he does exsit why is their death and chaos all around and most importantly if all this is true than what does god think when he asks us for perfection also for a fact i recently realized im 15 and bi sexual and currently have long d realationship with another boy who is also 15 were both crossdressers but yet though i have rejected my babtation (babitzed at birth) though i have said evrything disrespectfull at him when im upset though i belive he does not exsit he has yet to mess with me im perfectlly normal in every way smart student and careing partner ive had so many things go right in my life as ive had long oh and im “in the closet” my partner is not and when he told his family they had an exorsicm peformed but it didnt work cuss thier was no deamons in him and if me and him go to hell and god does exsit it will be useless for i will have the love of my life with me and will never learn our lesson
sincerly yours in trying to figure out lifes mysteries
the freindlly athiest j have a great day

 

[randybeeler]

Simply put–God loves you, and you hunger for him. All of us are sinners. To single out one activity in others as sinful and to ignore our own sin is to the miss the point. I’m a sinner, too, and I miss the mark and am always in need of love and mercy.

If you want to know God, get to know Him the way He wanted to be known–as Jesus the Christ. Start reading the Gospel of John . You’ll see that Jesus has a personality and is every bit a man as you and I are.

Then look with whom He associates–prostitutes, ne’er-do-wells, cheating tax collectors, deniers, adulterers. He never patronizes them or preaches them a Sunday School lesson. Instead, like He does for me and you and everybody, He gives Himself, even to the point of death, death on a cross.

Not because He’s a sinner but because He, the Sinless One, instead of striking us with a thunderbolt or damning us to hell, has committed to be with us, even when we suffer from our own sins and the disasters and evils the world can heap on us. You want to see God? Suffer with Him as He carries your suffering and mine.

Oh, BTW, suffering is not the end of the story. Suffering and death to our addiction to sin is but the prologue to the real story–a story in which all the things that you and I aspire to will be seen as but a mere shadow of what Father, Son, and Holy Spirit invite us to.

I enjoyed the forthrightness of your post–keep 'em coming.

Randy

 

[David89]

You are not alone friend,

For all those who struggle with this sin and the OP

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God, pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

 

[jmallon764]

Simply put–God loves you, and you hunger for him. All of us are sinners. To single out one activity in others as sinful and to ignore our own sin is to the miss the point. I’m a sinner, too, and I miss the mark and am always in need of love and mercy.

If you want to know God, get to know Him the way He wanted to be known–as Jesus the Christ. Start reading the Gospel of John . You’ll see that Jesus has a personality and is every bit a man as you and I are.

Then look with whom He associates–prostitutes, ne’er-do-wells, cheating tax collectors, deniers, adulterers. He never patronizes them or preaches them a Sunday School lesson. Instead, like He does for me and you and everybody, He gives Himself, even to the point of death, death on a cross.

Not because He’s a sinner but because He, the Sinless One, instead of striking us with a thunderbolt or damning us to hell, has committed to be with us, even when we suffer from our own sins and the disasters and evils the world can heap on us. You want to see God? Suffer with Him as He carries your suffering and mine.

Oh, BTW, suffering is not the end of the story. Suffering and death to our addiction to sin is but the prologue to the real story–a story in which all the things that you and I aspire to will be seen as but a mere shadow of what Father, Son, and Holy Spirit invite us to.

I enjoyed the forthrightness of your post–keep 'em coming.

Randy

thank u randy for the understanding u give to me and i find u would be a nice persont to have these kind of conversations with and my life is happy as could be and i hope urs is too and i shall metion u to god if i do meet him if he does exist u surley are the kind of person ur religon should look up too u did not try to force me to see ur side u di not make it sound like a conversation tht would coutinue endlessly instead u are the kind wich also trys to bring logic to conversation tht wich many of my kind use to try and im very glad u are a level headed person who is understainding
have a nice day
sincerly
_ jacob mallon freindly athiest:thumbsup:

 

[BListon]

Dear Aristotle

I also used to suffer from these temptations frequently during your age. I coped with it by occupying myself with hobbies (especially when I was alone) Also the Rosary and Chaplet of Divine Mercy work WONDERS and help pass the time. Hope this helps.

Sincerely… BListon

 

[ssa_trad_cath]

Prayers offered.

 

[Shannon46]

Hi I’m a sophomore in high school and I’ve been masterbating sence 7th grade. In 8th grade I learned it was wrong and in 9th grade I started seriously trying to stop. I go to confession as often as possible but I’m still struggling. I have been pure for 4 days now but it isn’t getting any easier and I could really use your prayers and advice. Thanks and God Bless,
Aristotle

Many Catholics believe Masterbation is a sin according to the Catholic Laws, there are few that might find it to be a relief for having sex for the wrongs reason. I have had to deal with the same kind of problem.

 

[Abba]

can i just ask one question and i dont want no prayers i dont want no angry letters but let me ask this it is said that we are dirived and created in gods image so does that meen hes a mastubator does that meen he is a lesbian a gay is he a drunk is he a sinner is he pure is he honest is is he a drug addict is he addicted to sin please note im in no way insulting ur religon but i am pointing at the questions that were forrgoten on the shelves also if he does exsit why is their death and chaos all around and most importantly if all this is true than what does god think when he asks us for perfection also for a fact i recently realized im 15 and bi sexual and currently have long d realationship with another boy who is also 15 were both crossdressers but yet though i have rejected my babtation (babitzed at birth) though i have said evrything disrespectfull at him when im upset though i belive he does not exsit he has yet to mess with me im perfectlly normal in every way smart student and careing partner ive had so many things go right in my life as ive had long oh and im “in the closet” my partner is not and when he told his family they had an exorsicm peformed but it didnt work cuss thier was no deamons in him and if me and him go to hell and god does exsit it will be useless for i will have the love of my life with me and will never learn our lesson
sincerly yours in trying to figure out lifes mysteries
the freindlly athiest j have a great day

Hello jmallon764m

I was actually planning to respond to the OP with your concerns in mind. I am, of course, no sexual expert, I am just a mature person who is raising two young men. I actually, appreciate your concern and would like to note before I begin to say that if anything I write here is contrary to the teaching of the Catholic Church, it will be appreciated if I am corrected.

I don’t know how appropriate and correct it is to use the word ‘addiction’ with such liberality. We use the word ‘addiction’ to refer to heroine addiction, cocaine, crack, drugs in general, tobacco, alcohol, and due to some psychological or psychiatric imbalance people can become obsessive, permiscuous, and addicted to sex. For the sake of clarity, I would distinguish between substance addiction and those addictions caused by psychological/psychiatric imbalances. I do not agree that masturbation and other sex acts are necessarily ‘addictions’, but, let me stick with masturbation. I think to throw masturbation in with all the other things that are referred. to as addictions, e.g. heroine is invalid. That is to say that to label masturbation automatically as an addiction is illogical. This, of course, if it is not due to some psychological/psychiatric obsessive/addicting behavior.

This I consider because when we label masturbation as an ‘addiction’ we do not regard the fact that what has been activated out of it’s time is a natural phenomenon. If a person is married a virgin and starts experiencing sexual desires - it is all normal, natural and healthy. We do not consider sexual desires in marriage an addiction: Why should we consider it an ‘addition’ outside of marriage and specifically - masturabtion? What is wrong is not the desire because it is natural, but the timing and how it is being done. What has been activated is natural. This is why a lot of people have a problem understanding the teachings of the Church, because they understand that it is natural and - it is. I don’t know that the Church calls masturbation, necessarily an addiction. Could someone please provide a quote if this is the case?

My sons, do not masturbate, exactly, because I have told them that once they would start it is difficult to stop. I never labelled it as they would become ‘addicted’, but, instead, for what I understand it to be; an activation of a natural, biogical desire, but out of it’s proper time and place. To automatically label masturbation as an addiction presents a problem of something present out of it’s proper time and situation; as a huge obstacle to overcome if not impossible.

I just think that when people do not acknowledge the natural phenomenon sexual desires is and automatically label it as an addiction when experienced outside of marriage a lot of people walk away and say they do not understand the teachings of the Church, but is the Church really teaching that masturbation is an ‘addiction’ or is she teaching that it is not correct because of the spilling of the seeds, sex is meant for pro-creation and between a man and a woman in marriage?

Jmallon74 and the OP you are both in my prayers.

 

[Abba]

Hi I’m a sophomore in high school and I’ve been masterbating sence 7th grade. In 8th grade I learned it was wrong and in 9th grade I started seriously trying to stop. I go to confession as often as possible but I’m still struggling. I have been pure for 4 days now but it isn’t getting any easier and I could really use your prayers and advice. Thanks and God Bless,
Aristotle

Hello Aristotle and everyone else reading this thread,

I like the advice someone gave about postponing it as much as you can. This way you will train your body not to expect it and the desire will show up less and less frequently. It’s like training your body to wake up at a certain time. I have to do it all the time as because of situations in life my biological clock is sometimes thrown out of timing. I like to wake up at 5:30 am and when I set up the routine, I do not even need an alarm clock. I just wake up automatically at 5:30am. However, because things happen in life, I sometimes have to stay up late and so I wake up late and as a consequence I got to sleep late and then of course I wake up late and my normal schedule is off whack. It takes me time and a lot of effort to get back in my desired routine of waking up at 5:30 am. I start to slowly turn my biological clock back little by little until I am once again going to sleep early and waking up early.

Similarly, in the other end of the spectrum; widowed, divorced or separated people experience sexual desires because their bodies are used to having sex and is expecting it. Their bodies are still working on a biological clock for sex. This happened to me and like you I was not aware that it was wrong. When I learned that it was wrong, I immediaely decided that it must and will stop. It is not that I was doing something, it was the desire of the body that was used to sex and how I stopped was exactly by ignoring the desire to present itself and it would come less and less then every three months then maybe once a year until it went away. Sometimes, it shows up and I just ignore it and it goes away and it that’s it. You train your body not to expect it and then it does not expect it and so it goes away.

Many people have asked me how I can live a celibate life and for so many years (almost 18) and this is my answer to them. That is, that basically your body gets used to not having sex. I ask them to recall when they were kids and when they did not have the desire of sex and that in much the same way that’s what happens. Although it may show up, but very rarely and when it does it is more easily dominated then at the beginning.

The chauffer of a Catholic school once asked me how I could live a celibate life. I told him to go ask the deacon who would be a better person to ask as I am a female. He said: “Oh, but, so and so is a celibate deacon (who is a virgin) and that’s different. He is celibate as priests and nuns. I don’t understand how someone of the world, with experience and children could possibly live a celibae life.” I answerered his question with the answer I have given here. But, you see, folks, I think this is where we lose people. When we do not acknowledge their understanding that sexual desires once activated is a natural appetite. What is sinful is to activate it out of marriage and indulge out of marriage.

What I do not agree with is labeling someone as ‘addicted to sin’ because they are experiencing sexual desires. This does not seem correct to me. When I was experiencing sexual desires after separating I did not think of myself as ‘addicted to sin’ - what’s that? This implies that I like sinning and am addicting to sinning and would this be correct? I don’t think so. The sexual desires were a remnant of a the sexualli active life I lived within my marriage, but it was not a deeming reflection of me as a person addicted to sinning.

I was just reading : SACRED CONGREGATION FOR CATHOLIC EDUCATION - EDUCATIONAL GUIDANCE IN HUMAN LOVE and there is a section there that states:

Whilst taking account of the objective gravity of masturbation, it is necessary to be cautious in evaluating the subjective responsibility of the person.(60)

I would think that it would be incorrect to label someone who has activated the biological reproduction system of their body without being aware that it is a sin and who is now trying to control sexual desires as addicted to sin. I do not know if I am making my point clear, I am bringing in a little bit of natural science into the discussion which I do not think is in conflict with the teachings of the Church.

Masturbation is ‘a grave moral disorder’ because sexual desires and actions are being practiced outside of marriage. Additionally, masturbation is a form of autoeroticism that is alienating and isolating. As per the above article cited, we are to advice the person to try to understand what led them to start in the first place and try to iron that out.

continues…

 

[Abba]

continuation…

I do not think that it is appropriate to label someone who is dealing with masturbation as ‘addicted to sin’. I find this label deeming and inaccurate. And now that I have shared my two cents worth :twocents: , I live you all with a little quote :

EDUCATIONAL GUIDANCE IN HUMAN LOVE

Outlines for sex education

1. It is the task of sex education to promote a continuous progress in the control of the impulses to effect an opening, in due course, to true and self giving love. A particularly complex and delicate problem which can be present is that of masturbation and of its repercussions on the integral growth of the person. Masturbation, according to catholic doctrine constitutes a grave moral disorder,(57) principally because it is the use of the sexual faculty in a way which essentially contradicts its finality, not being at the service of love and life according to the design of God.(58)
2. A teacher and perspicacious counsellor must endeavour to identify the causes of the deviation in order to help the adolescent to overcome the immaturity underlying this habit. From an educative point of view, it is necessary to consider masturbation and other forms of autoeroticism as symptoms of problems much more profound, which provoke sexual tension which the individual seeks to resolve by recourse to such behaviour. Pedagogic action, therefore, should be directed more to the causes than to the direct repression of the phenomenon.(59)

Whilst taking account of the objective gravity of masturbation, it is necessary to be cautious in evaluating the subjective responsibility of the person.(60)

1. In order that the adolescent be helped to feel accepted in a communion of charity and freed from self enclosure, the teacher “should undramatise masturbation and not reduce his or her esteem and benevolence for the pupil”.(61) The teacher will help the pupil towards social integration, to be open and interested in others; to be able to be free from this form of autoeroticism, advancing towards self giving love, proper to mature affectivity; at the same time, the teacher will encourage the pupil to have recourse to the recommended means of christian asceticism, such as prayer and the sacraments, and to be involved in works of justice and charity.

Aristotle, you may want to take a look at Pope John Paul the Great’s writing on the theology of the body. This will help you to appreciate the value of a sexual relation within marriage.

Peace,

Abba

 

[brokenplates1]

Hi I’m a sophomore in high school and I’ve been masterbating sence 7th grade. In 8th grade I learned it was wrong and in 9th grade I started seriously trying to stop. I go to confession as often as possible but I’m still struggling. I have been pure for 4 days now but it isn’t getting any easier and I could really use your prayers and advice. Thanks and God Bless,
Aristotle

Lots of us have been where you are, especially at the age you are. That doesn’t excuse the sin. But at the FIRST INSTANT of an impure thought or temptation, and I mean THE FIRST INSTANT, say this quick, short prayer over and over and over again. It helps. Trust me.

“Oh God, I am being tempted to ____________. Please, send me the grace you gave me in my last (Communion/Confession) not to commit this sin and offend you.”

 

[brokenplates1]

Also, from a physical point of view, it is a psychological habit that affects the mind, soul and body is difficult to overcome.

Find a hobby that will improve yourself and will allow you to occupy your mind and time with. Read, exercise, volunteer, something.

Combined with prayer and the sacraments, you WILL overcome this. But since it is a habit linked directly to physical pleasure and gratification, I am telling you, it will NOT be easy. But it can be done.