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ChinaDad
Guest
Father, I ask for Your blessed healing, grace, and light be poured out on this couple, that they will be healed, and that they will sing their praises of Your name to those in need of You aid. Amen.
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244Rocket
Guest
Praying for you and your family. My father drank a lot until he quit at age 50. It’s horrible for the children who have to live in that atmosphere of arguing and yelling. I couldn’t wait to leave home.
Please do something to help your DD. I think the people giving advice re AlAnon are right.
Praying hard for you and your family.
Please do something to help your DD. I think the people giving advice re AlAnon are right.
Praying hard for you and your family.
L
Lamb_Serenade
Guest
Hello everyone, and thanks for your prayers. We had a really awful weekend, but as is the way things go with something like this, some good has come.
Yesterday was my husband’s regular counseling session and his counselor insisted they discuss why he always sabotages things when he is making progress in the right direction by drinking heavier. Whenever he has a good session or a good week when he and I are communicating and things are better at home, he then lets his “head” start convincing him that it is all going to go away, and he starts drinking to “escape”, and all it ends up doing is make it worse. Then the guilt starts working along with his own self doubt and its even worse for him. Along with making it worse for him, it makes it awful for me because I have to watch him do this to himself. I have to put my radar on high alert because he behaves so stupid when he drinks. He forgets what he has done, and over compensates to sooth his guilt and does what he thinks are nice things, but it’s really just annoying. So I find ways for me and my DD to escape when he is drinking, and come home in time to put pj’s on, have our “nice and quiet” time together and put her to bed. Usually by then he has passed out in the middle of the bed.
Anyway, I digress. Yesterday his session was enlightening apparently. He hasn’t really told me what all they discussed in addition to his sabotaging his progress, and I know there is more. Hopefully tonight we can talk more. He didn’t drink yesterday, so maybe yesterday is the first day of the rest of his life. I’m not letting myself get my hopes up too high though because I have been disappointed too many times in the last seven months. I have to take things one day at a time myself.
I went to mass today and offered my mass intentions for his healing and for the healing of all who are dealing with alcoholism and/or mental health issues. Today is the memorial for Guardian Angels, and I read this wonderful meditation.
Yesterday was my husband’s regular counseling session and his counselor insisted they discuss why he always sabotages things when he is making progress in the right direction by drinking heavier. Whenever he has a good session or a good week when he and I are communicating and things are better at home, he then lets his “head” start convincing him that it is all going to go away, and he starts drinking to “escape”, and all it ends up doing is make it worse. Then the guilt starts working along with his own self doubt and its even worse for him. Along with making it worse for him, it makes it awful for me because I have to watch him do this to himself. I have to put my radar on high alert because he behaves so stupid when he drinks. He forgets what he has done, and over compensates to sooth his guilt and does what he thinks are nice things, but it’s really just annoying. So I find ways for me and my DD to escape when he is drinking, and come home in time to put pj’s on, have our “nice and quiet” time together and put her to bed. Usually by then he has passed out in the middle of the bed.
Anyway, I digress. Yesterday his session was enlightening apparently. He hasn’t really told me what all they discussed in addition to his sabotaging his progress, and I know there is more. Hopefully tonight we can talk more. He didn’t drink yesterday, so maybe yesterday is the first day of the rest of his life. I’m not letting myself get my hopes up too high though because I have been disappointed too many times in the last seven months. I have to take things one day at a time myself.
I went to mass today and offered my mass intentions for his healing and for the healing of all who are dealing with alcoholism and/or mental health issues. Today is the memorial for Guardian Angels, and I read this wonderful meditation.
B
BarbaraTherese
Guest
Keeping you, your husband and DD in prayer…and will ask all your guardian angels to intercede for each one of you joining my prayers to theirs.
Praying too to St. Rita, patron of difficult causes…
Barb
Praying too to St. Rita, patron of difficult causes…
Barb
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Lamb_Serenade
Guest
I’m here again, asking for your prayers. I go to the counselor tomorrow and I’m very nervous.
Things are rapidly going downhill, I need prayers so I can stay strong and make the right decisions about what I need to say to my husband, and how to confront him.
I won’t go into details again. It’s really just more of the same. I appreciate all of your prayers, and I read and pray for the intentions posted here.
God Bless you all, and thanks for the prayers you have already said.
Things are rapidly going downhill, I need prayers so I can stay strong and make the right decisions about what I need to say to my husband, and how to confront him.
I won’t go into details again. It’s really just more of the same. I appreciate all of your prayers, and I read and pray for the intentions posted here.
God Bless you all, and thanks for the prayers you have already said.
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bubbie
Guest
I will keep your husband and your self in my daily prayers,GOD love and bless you
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thereseozi
Guest
Debbie, I have placed your petitions within my heart and will carry them with me to daily Mass and I will remember your petitions in my daily prayers. St. Therese, the Little Flower of Jesus, please pray for Debbie, her husband, and DD. Amen.
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Belle10
Guest
I know what you feel like. I’m an adult, but my father is an alcoholic and while it wasn’t until college that I knew he was, it still hurts everyday. Actually, he hasn’t had a drink in the past week (thank God!) but we’ve had these good weeks, good months, good years, and then bad weeks, bad months, bad years, so who knows if this will be the end of his drinking…
Anyway, I definitely believe in spiritaul warfare, and I honestly believe that alcoholism is a vehicle that allows the demons of fear of failure, self-pity, sadness, inadequacy, and indecision take hold of a person. I continue to pray for my father, that our Lord’s angels will surround him and protect him from evil, and that our Lord Jesus will strengthen him and take away his desire to drink. I’ll pray for your husband too.
The thing is, NOTHING YOU SAY is going to make him stop drinking. If there was something that you could say to him, it would’ve happened by now. I don’t say this to upset you, just to help you come to the important realization that while you should continue to try to help him, never stop praying, because Jesus can do what we can’t. Say a chaplet of Divine Mercy for him - maybe each day? - and just keep praying. It’s what I do, and it brings comfort to a situation that often seems hopeless.
God bless.:hug1: PM me if you want to.
Anyway, I definitely believe in spiritaul warfare, and I honestly believe that alcoholism is a vehicle that allows the demons of fear of failure, self-pity, sadness, inadequacy, and indecision take hold of a person. I continue to pray for my father, that our Lord’s angels will surround him and protect him from evil, and that our Lord Jesus will strengthen him and take away his desire to drink. I’ll pray for your husband too.
The thing is, NOTHING YOU SAY is going to make him stop drinking. If there was something that you could say to him, it would’ve happened by now. I don’t say this to upset you, just to help you come to the important realization that while you should continue to try to help him, never stop praying, because Jesus can do what we can’t. Say a chaplet of Divine Mercy for him - maybe each day? - and just keep praying. It’s what I do, and it brings comfort to a situation that often seems hopeless.
God bless.:hug1: PM me if you want to.
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homewardangel
Guest
You sound like I did about 6 years ago. I was married to an alcoholic and I have 2 children. I will not tell you what to do, because everyone’s situation is different. But I will ask that you educate yourself on what you are dealing with. We all make the best decision that we can with the knowledge that we have. So to make better decisions we all need the best information possible.I will like to make a few points that I did not think about prior to my struggle.
Denial - while there are times that its necessary, we can not live in denial. How many years should a person be willing to live in denial? How long will you allow you children to live in denial? I read that by 9 years old a child is in complete denial and accepts the world around them as how life is. What kind of reality do you want to give to your children?
Did you ever hear the soup kitchen story? A lady feeds the homeless in a soup kitchen and works very hard doing so. But she never goes home to eat sleep or to care for herself. How long can she provide for the homeless with out caring for herself? If she took care of herself how long could she care for the homeless?
My parish preist told me to move out. That I needed to decide what type of “mess” that I wanted to live in…i.e. dirty clothes and messy house or clean house that is deprived of spiritual necessities.
Its now 5 years later and my children are amazingly healthy in mind body and spirit. My youngest is now 9 and told me over the weekend that he was going to be an NFL football player and build a new church and give alot of his money to the poor. (I realize that the odds are against him being in the NFL) But he is growing to think of what is important in life instead of “hiding from dad when dad’s drunk” or learning to self medicate his own hurts from living in a alcoholic home.
The devil is tricky and you better believe that he will try to tell get you to interpret the bible in ways that will hurt you. Prayer can help you understand things in the way that God wants you to see them. I believe that the devil used my weak faith to keep me at his level - the more that I understood the faith and that God loves me the easier it was for me to see the way the devil had me misunderstanding things.
Just my thoughts
Terry
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ChinaDad
Guest
Father, please help this Lamb of Yours, and guide her as she deals with these difficult issues. I ask that You please pull her husband close to You and heal him of his afflictions. Father, life here is difficult enough sometimes without the drama caused in our lives by addictions, and I pray that You show Your mercy to this couple and to all those with addictions, including my brother. In the name of Jesus I Pray. Amen.
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BarbaraTherese
Guest
Continuing to keep you in prayer…
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Lamb_Serenade
Guest
Your continued prayers are truly appreciated.
I think things will be coming to a head soon, and I really need prayers for strength.
I think things will be coming to a head soon, and I really need prayers for strength.
B
BarbaraTherese
Guest
Dear Debbie…May The Holy Spirit be your strength and Little St. Therese take you under her patronage…will be keeping you in prayer…regards…Barb
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stove
Guest
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Please say the following prayer right now to release 1,000 souls from purgatory (Approval and Recommendation signed by M. Cardinal Pahiarca, Lisbon, Portugal March 4, 1936.): Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy Souls in Purgatory. Amen
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Please say the following prayer right now to release 1,000 souls from purgatory (Approval and Recommendation signed by M. Cardinal Pahiarca, Lisbon, Portugal March 4, 1936.): Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy Souls in Purgatory. Amen
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ChinaDad
Guest
Continued prayers for you Lamb…
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Lamb_Serenade
Guest
Many of you have been praying for me and my husband, and this question pertains to what I have discussed here.
He has been in counseling now for the past eight months. He is finally opening up to his counselor but now he is shutting me out about what they are exploring. He tells me he can talk to her because he knows she will not and cannot tell anyone else in the whole world what he tells her. He tells me that I don’t want to know what he tells her. He says he can’t tell me, and that he won’t tell me. I am really struggling with how I feel about this because I feel like he should be able to tell me anything. I feel that being married means you tell your spouse anything and everything. That he is willing to tell a stranger his deepest darkest secrets but won’t tell me, hurts me. I feel like he doesn’t trust me.
I am worried he is avoiding the topic of his drinking by diverting me to his other issues even though I have been the one bringing up his counseling and mental health issues since I think the drinking stems largely from those issues. So I’m not so sure it’s him doing the diverting or me just prying and being too nosey.
I’m also concerned that maybe I need to back off on discussion of treatment until he gets further along in his therapy.
What I need to know is am I off base here? Do I need to leave it alone? Am I being disrespectful, impatient, unrealistic? I would like to know what you think in light of what I have discussed here. Any (name removed by moderator)ut and ideas are greatly appreciated. Perhaps it is I who needs to be more trusting…
I’m just really confused here and any advice anyone can offer me is greatly appreciated.
He has been in counseling now for the past eight months. He is finally opening up to his counselor but now he is shutting me out about what they are exploring. He tells me he can talk to her because he knows she will not and cannot tell anyone else in the whole world what he tells her. He tells me that I don’t want to know what he tells her. He says he can’t tell me, and that he won’t tell me. I am really struggling with how I feel about this because I feel like he should be able to tell me anything. I feel that being married means you tell your spouse anything and everything. That he is willing to tell a stranger his deepest darkest secrets but won’t tell me, hurts me. I feel like he doesn’t trust me.
I am worried he is avoiding the topic of his drinking by diverting me to his other issues even though I have been the one bringing up his counseling and mental health issues since I think the drinking stems largely from those issues. So I’m not so sure it’s him doing the diverting or me just prying and being too nosey.
I’m also concerned that maybe I need to back off on discussion of treatment until he gets further along in his therapy.
What I need to know is am I off base here? Do I need to leave it alone? Am I being disrespectful, impatient, unrealistic? I would like to know what you think in light of what I have discussed here. Any (name removed by moderator)ut and ideas are greatly appreciated. Perhaps it is I who needs to be more trusting…
I’m just really confused here and any advice anyone can offer me is greatly appreciated.
S
stove
Guest
You need advice from people who have been in your situation and who you can discuss this with. I will say it again. Goto Al-Anon. If you don’t like it you don’t have to keep going but it might just surprise you and help.
J†M†J
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Please say the following prayer right now to release 1,000 souls from purgatory (Approval and Recommendation signed by M. Cardinal Pahiarca, Lisbon, Portugal March 4, 1936.): Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy Souls in Purgatory. Amen
Click these icons/links to donate food to the hungry. It’s free.
thehungersite.com/clickToGive/images/button_clickToGive_ths.gif
hungerfighters.com/images/HF_Half2.gif
greatergood.com/images/linktous/468x60_ths-visitor-anim-fight.gif
Click this link: children.care2.com/front.html?p=&iID=
J†M†J
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Please say the following prayer right now to release 1,000 souls from purgatory (Approval and Recommendation signed by M. Cardinal Pahiarca, Lisbon, Portugal March 4, 1936.): Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy Souls in Purgatory. Amen
Click these icons/links to donate food to the hungry. It’s free.
thehungersite.com/clickToGive/images/button_clickToGive_ths.gif
hungerfighters.com/images/HF_Half2.gif
greatergood.com/images/linktous/468x60_ths-visitor-anim-fight.gif
Click this link: children.care2.com/front.html?p=&iID=
B
BarbaraTherese
Guest
Your confusion and hurt is entirely understandable and reasonable…but then I can insight where your hubby is comiing from too having been in therapy myself while married. Keeping you in daily prayer…
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