Addressing a priest ... Fr. «First Name» VS Fr. «Last Name»

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Sir_Knight

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When I was growing up, we use to address the priests by their first name – meaning, we would say “Father” and their first name. Then about 20-30 years ago I noticed a change with priests being addressed by their last name (“Father” and their last name).

Anyone else notice this and have any idea why the change happened?
 
Could it be a regional thing, rather than a generational one?

Just asking, I don’t know.
 
Sometimes this variation is because the priest, himself, has asked people to address him this way. I know a “Bishop James” (his first name), his preference. This has been helpful when I encountered three brothers who all became priests, and in large dioceses where there are several Father Kellys.

Also, priests of religious orders often are called “Father John” or “Father Hiacynth” or “Abbot Michael”, rather than “Father Smith”. It’s just a custom.
 
I have found that the more formal way is to address the priest
with their last name unless you know them well or they request otherwise.
mystified said:
Also, priests of religious orders often are called “Father John” or “Father Hiacynth” or “Abbot Michael”, rather than “Father Smith”. It’s just a custom.
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This might be because in some orders the religious will take a new name.
 
mystified said:
Sometimes this variation is because the priest, himself, has asked people to address him this way. I know a “Bishop James” (his first name), his preference. This has been helpful when I encountered three brothers who all became priests, and in large dioceses where there are several Father Kellys.

Also, priests of religious orders often are called “Father John” or “Father Hiacynth” or “Abbot Michael”, rather than “Father Smith”. It’s just a custom.
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Of course that can lead to conflict too.

tee,
Who attended an ordered high school with too many “Fr Bob”'s associated with it.
 
This is all very culturally determined. Do you want to know how Pope Paul VI (Giovanni Battista Montini) was addressed when he was a young curate? Don Battista.
 
Most of the priests I’ve met who prefer the “Father Bob” approach have been those who wanted to be “relevant” or “just one of the guys”. I’ve also noticed that the laity who are most comfortable with this form of address are those who tend to downplay the importance of the sacramental priesthood.

I don’t address my physician as “Doctor Tom”, a military officer as “Admiral Willy”, or the local magistrate as “Judge Harry”. It would also seem strange if any of those people addressed me as “Mister Fred”.

It’s a question of respect.
 
in my former quite liberal diocese the form of address was Fr. Smith, in my current quite observant orthodox diocese, the perferred address is Fr. Pat, not even Fr. Patrick. We do say Fr. Bob Smith and Fr. Bob Jones in converstation, and we use Msgr. only to distinguish two priests with the same way (there are only a couple of cases). This is also a much smaller diocese in area and population and has fewer than 1/4 the priests of the former diocese.
 
Servulus said:
Most of the priests I’ve met who prefer the “Father Bob” approach have been those who wanted to be “relevant” or “just one of the guys”. I’ve also noticed that the laity who are most comfortable with this form of address are those who tend to downplay the importance of the sacramental priesthood.

I don’t address my physician as “Doctor Tom”, a military officer as “Admiral Willy”, or the local magistrate as “Judge Harry”. It would also seem strange if any of those people addressed me as “Mister Fred”.

It’s a question of respect.
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We call the Pope by what is in effect a first name. He is not Pope Ratzinger, but Pope Benedict. The same for Saints and Biblical personages. We also address them by first name. When a religious changes their name–it is their first name they change and their first name that they are called by.

I do believe there is some regional variation. But I suspect that those priests calling themselves by their last name (ie, Father last name) are doing so in an attempt to be more formal. Not because those priests who call themselves “Father Bob” want to be buddy-buddy with the congregation. But likely because the congregation shows little respect for the priest, judge, doctor, or admiral no matter what they would prefer to be called.
 
Servulus said:
Most of the priests I’ve met who prefer the “Father Bob” approach have been those who wanted to be “relevant” or “just one of the guys”. I’ve also noticed that the laity who are most comfortable with this form of address are those who tend to downplay the importance of the sacramental priesthood…
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Maybe, but not all of them.
My pastor and parish priests all go by Fr. “first name” and they are the most orthodox and non-modern priests around.

Now, when I was a child, my Great-Uncle was Fr. John and my Uncle was Fr. Gil.
My cousins called them Uncle. My mother insisted on “Father” for both of them.
As I do with my children.
 
Another aspect to consider is that some last names are hard to pronounce. At least from the spelling:

Our previous pastor when by Fr <> and his last name was Bellique (I think that’s how it is spelled)

Our new pastor is Fr <> and his last name is Young.

He had some problem with our hispanic members calling him Padre Joven. He could not figure out for a while why they used that name, till he realized ‘joven’ is spanish for ‘young’. Now, I think they call him Fr Young.
 
Evan said:
Another aspect to consider is that some last names are hard to pronounce.
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We have a priest like that. Our main pastors last name is Kirk so we call him Fr. Kirk. But our associate pastor is from Africa, Nigeria I think and no one knows how to pronounce his name I don’t think so we call him Fr. Anthony.

I do like him though b/c he does a lot of the Mass in Latin sometimes and its so beautiful!
 
In the Eastern churches, the priest is usually Father (first name). That first name is the one the bishop used in ordaining him, which may or may not be the actual first name on the ordinands birth certificate. The last name is only used to differentiate i.e. are we talking about Father John Smith or Father John Jones. It’s considered mildly insulting to address a priest father last name.
 
I think it’s entirely a regional/cultural thing.

Here in Australia, it is normal to address a priest ‘Fr Smith’, unless he asks you to call him ‘Fr John’.

And I think this is just an extension of the cultural norm of calling someone ‘Mr Jones’ until/unless he asks you to Call him ‘Bob’.

Then again, I think just ‘Father’ is the more common form of address, depending on the circumstances.

EDIT:
Our diocese has two priests over from India, and we just call them Fr Matthew and Fr Thomas - because their last names are quite hard to pronounce.
 
It is the custon in English-speaking countries to use the surname as a form of address out of respect. As I see it, the use of a surname to refer to a priest is the only way to refer to him, even if he would have you use the less formal form of address. We must remember that the respect that we show to the man is a distant second to the respect we should have for the office he holds.
 
**Priest
**
Face-to-face Greeting
*“Father,” “Reverend Father,” or “Your Reverence.” Though it is common, it’s not proper to address a priest using his first name, as in “Hi, Father John!” *
Envelope Address
The Reverend Father John Doe
Letter Salutation
*Dear Father *
*Reverend and Dear Father Doe *
Abbreviations
Father: F. or Fr.
Fathers, Plural: FF.
*Reverend Father: Rev. Fr. (or “R.P.” for Reverendus Pater) *
**Other **
*Stand when he enters the room and remain standing until he invites you to sit. Men must remove their hats in his presence. If a priest visits your home, it is customary to ask for his blessing; the simple words, “Father, bless” are fine. When blessed by a priest, kneel on both knees until he is finished. It is also customary for many people, especially those in Latin cultures, to kiss the priest’s hand to honor the Eucharist, as they alone are able to consecrate (unless the Pope is present). *

-www.fisheaters.com

May be a bit formal
 
I’ve always assumed it to simply be based on the priest’s preference (unless he is an order priest, which may bring along a set of rules for naming). Our current pastor prefers “Fr. Larry”. Our semi-retired former pastor, who resides in the rectory and splits the Mass schedule with Fr. Larry, prefers to be called “Fr. Child” rather than “Fr. John”. The pastor of the parish where I spent most of my childhood preferred (and still prefers) “Fr. [last name]”, but the associate pastors often specified that we should call them “Fr. [first name]”.
 
I’ve found the same thing - it depends on the priest’s preference. In my parish, most of the priests go by Father (first name), but the most recent arrival goes by Father (last name). The previous pastor, who has since left the priesthood, preferred to by his first name only, which was extremely uncomfortable for many of us.
 
It is usual where I attend mass to address the priests generically as Father or if needful in distinguishing them the use of the surname. It is not encouraged and I feel personally it is to promote respect for their calling etc. I know them only on an acquaintance basis so I have never presumed to their Christian names nor they to me.

I was appalled some years ago meeting a Bishop “…just call me Joe” it diminished his office I felt
 
I’ve never addressed any Priest growing up in Ireland by anything but Fr. (Last name).
In Japan we almost never use a person’s first name and certainly not a priest’s. Even the Sisters are often called Sister (Last name).

Gearoidin
 
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