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Zabdi_Premjit
Guest
How do you address a Latin-rite deacon? Do you just say, “Good morning, deacon?”
Is there a universal address, or does it vary but culture?
Is there a universal address, or does it vary but culture?
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AKDee
Guest
I always address the deacons in my parish as “Deacon” and their first name. Deacon Mark and Deacon Jim. It does feel too casual to me to not address them as Deacon.
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pianistclare
Guest
Since I work with 4.5 of them, just the first name at the office. but when people inquire about them. I always say "Deacon Bill, etc.
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Elizium23
Guest
I wouldn’t dare call a cleric by first-name-only. Even if he asked me to.
I typically call bishops “Your excellency” (or “Your grace, your eminence, your holiness” as the situation merits) and I call priests “Father Lastname” as much as possible (I get some really weird looks and people try to correct me to “Father Firstname” because it’s so widespread. But our pastor insists on his last name being used, to the point of choosing to not reveal his given name anywhere.)
I call deacons “Deacon Lastname” except for one fellow in my parish who has been “grandfathered in” to be known as “Deacon Firstname” (and let’s be honest, he feels and acts very much like my own grandfather.) If I’m addressing them directly or their name has already been established, I simply use “Deacon”.
I typically call bishops “Your excellency” (or “Your grace, your eminence, your holiness” as the situation merits) and I call priests “Father Lastname” as much as possible (I get some really weird looks and people try to correct me to “Father Firstname” because it’s so widespread. But our pastor insists on his last name being used, to the point of choosing to not reveal his given name anywhere.)
I call deacons “Deacon Lastname” except for one fellow in my parish who has been “grandfathered in” to be known as “Deacon Firstname” (and let’s be honest, he feels and acts very much like my own grandfather.) If I’m addressing them directly or their name has already been established, I simply use “Deacon”.
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Usige
Guest
By default, I use Deacon . If they specifically ask me to use their first name then it’s Deacon .
My personal preference would be Reverend Mister , but we have lost that level of decorum in the US so I make due. Funny thing is I’ve heard transitional deacons referred to this way, but almost never a permanent deacon.
My personal preference would be Reverend Mister , but we have lost that level of decorum in the US so I make due. Funny thing is I’ve heard transitional deacons referred to this way, but almost never a permanent deacon.
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Elizium23
Guest
That is correct. At least in my diocese, only transitional deacons are accorded the title of Reverend Mister.My personal preference would be Reverend Mister , but we have lost that level of decorum in the US so I make due. Funny thing is I’ve heard transitional deacons referred to this way, but almost never a permanent deacon.
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Zabdi_Premjit
Guest
Four and a half?
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tawny
Guest
Same here. I work with 4 Deacons.
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Neofight
Guest
To those who prefer formal titles, what would you do at a Friary? We have nearly 30 friars, probably only 10 who are priests…if you didn’t know them would you address them as “hey you” instead of Brother? 
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CB_Catholic
Guest
Just about all of the Deacons I know I was friends with before they were Deacons, and am still friends with them now. I call them by their first name as I always did. Both of us would be uncomfortable otherwise, and their wives are also friends and we hang out together. After all those years I am not about to address them formally, unless I am introducing them to someone.
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pianistclare
Guest
He’s in formation.Four and a half?
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ProVobis
Guest
Good question. I would definitely avoid “Sir.” Maybe amigo?To those who prefer formal titles, what would you do at a Friary? We have nearly 30 friars, probably only 10 who are priests…if you didn’t know them would you address them as “hey you” instead of Brother?
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adamhovey1988
Guest
This is a good question because of course in Eastern Church it is you use the phrase Father Deacon although I’ve yet to find one that objects to being called deacon. Reverend Mr is one I’m familiar with but I don’t think is used very often anymore at least not here. Some priests actually introduced me to themselves by their first names but I still feel uncomfortable without putting something ahead of their name when speaking of them. I never know when with clergy you should be use the last name or the first name after Reverend or Father in the like. Generally it depends on who I am talking to the man that baptize me for instance I would use father + surname. But my current priest who is from Nigeria and a very dear man I choose to call Father plus first name because his last name is incredibly hard for me to pronounce. Generally speaking now if I was to address a Deacon I would probably say Deacon and I probably wouldn’t use any type of personal name if there was only one same thing with the priest is there is only one priest around it is just enough for me to say Father. The bishop here for the Diocese of Charleston I have met multiple times and generally when I talk to him nothing comes up so I don’t ever say your excellency or Bishop Bob. Not because I object to those practices but because he knows when I am talking directly to him
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Neofight
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LOL. Amigo would probably work, especially in these parts.Good question. I would definitely avoid “Sir.” Maybe amigo?
My confessor always laughs and says, most people will address all Friars as Father, but he felt it more appropriate to address all Friars as Brother (unless you know them to be priests, but even then Brother poses no problem).
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Zabdi_Premjit
Guest
Thank you all for your answers!
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Usige
Guest
I’d refer to them as Brother or Father if that is how they were introduced to me. I would never call Brother Mary Joseph simply Joe or Mary or something else.To those who prefer formal titles, what would you do at a Friary? We have nearly 30 friars, probably only 10 who are priests…if you didn’t know them would you address them as “hey you” instead of Brother?
I truly believe that the current lack of formality leads people to see clergy and religious as buddies or as spiritual equals instead of those that have a religious purpose different from the secular laity. If Deacon Jones or Father Johnson are now just Jim and Joe, that line between them and your buddy Bubba down at the bar becomes blurred. I don’t want clergy that are my buddies. I need clergy that aren’t afraid to call me on the mat when I’m doing wrong.
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twf
Guest
It should be noted that Fr Lastname is proper and respectful for a secular priest but never for a religious. A consecrated religious has taken a new name at his profession. Even before the more casual status quo of the post-VII Church, a religious priest was always Fr Religious Name (Fr John, Fr Peter, Fr Francis). Properly speaking he is first and foremost a religious with a new identity and no longer simply a Smith or a Jones. Of course secular priests are a different matter and using their last name was the traditional protocol.
A great example: Padre Pio (first name- a consecrated friar) vs Don Bosco (“Don” from the Latin for Lord is used in some romantic languages as an honorific for secular priests paired with the last name).
^ This.
I always address diocesan priests by Father Lastname. Religious priests I address by Father ReligiousName, or Father Firstname if no new names were taken.
Diocesan deacons are always Deacon Lastname, and Deacon afterwards.
Even if they ask for it, I will never address a cleric solely by first name.
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OraLabora
Guest
Not all consecrated religious take on a new name. The monks of our abbey do not. You can call a monk "frère ", and a monk who is a priest "père " or "Dom ". It’s common in the Francophone world to call a priest-monk “père” though Dom is more accurate.
It sort of varies from culture to culture.
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