ADHD and Sunday Obligation

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I have severe ADHD which interferes with my life in all sorts of ways, to the extent that I have lost a job and missed out on other things as a result. The one thing I struggle with more than anything is Sunday Mass. I used to go every Sunday when I lived with family but since I moved abroad, the luck of structure has proven incredibly difficult. Is it possible that for people with motivational problems this may not be a mortal sin? Also, anything routine is almost excruciating.
 
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I can’t speak to whether it is a mortal sin or not. You should speak to your priest about that. You admit the lack of structure is the problem, and I get that because I see the effects of ADHD daily with my wife and stepson. Find a way to create the structure you need. Can you reach out to someone in your parish to pick you up or meet you somewhere to attend mass with?
 
Did your family create structure for you?
Do you have a regular exercise program to help you with your ADHD?
Being on your own does mean that you need to develop a structure within which you can work.
Remember that you do not have to answer the questions that I asked on-line. You can keep them private.
The first hour of the day can be the most crucial for how my day will be.
 
Ruby, talk to your pastor. Debilitating illnesses can certainly excuse us from mass.

Also, talk to your doctor. You need help if you are unable to function in daily life.
 
Rubee said:
l sin? Also, anything routine is almost excruciating.
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I’m with you on the ADHD front, it can make focusing during mass incredibly difficult. If it’s really that bad for you, I highly suggest talking to your doctor about meds.

Beyond that, on the mortal sin question, as someone who also suffers with ADHD, I honestly can’t see how it make it impossible for you to go to mass. Sure, you’ll have trouble focusing, but each time your put in the effort to turn your mind back to God it is a prayer. I don’t know how severe your case is, but unless it’s coupled with some other issue then a lack of focus isn’t really an excuse.

I get that the routine is painful… I really, really do, but that’s a sacrifice you have to make for God.

Still, perhaps there are extenuating circumstance we just can’t know from a bit of chatting on the forum. The advice to speak to your parish priest is your best bet.
 
Does your parish offer a low mass? Often they are the early masses on Sunday. A mass that is… for lack of a better way of putting it…more straightforward (everything is said not sung) and a little shorter (no songs) may help.
 
Rubee said:
I have severe ADHD which interferes with my life in all sorts of ways, to the extent that I have lost a job and missed out on other things as a result. The one thing I struggle with more than anything is Sunday Mass. I used to go every Sunday when I lived with family but since I moved abroad, the luck of structure has proven incredibly difficult. Is it possible that for people with motivational problems this may not be a mortal sin? Also, anything routine is almost excruciating.
Click to expand...
One method to add structure is to break down activities into three groups:
  • next 3 minutes
  • withing the next 3 hours
  • within 3 days.
Mortal sin requires a personal choice which is voluntary.
 
You misunderstand. It’s not that I’m unable to stay through to the end of mass. Yes, it’s a very distracted time especially now that I’m in a country that doesn’t use English and I don’t speak the language. That’s not the issue. Once I’m there, I’ll participate even if distracted.

The problem, regarding structure, is getting myself out of the house to go. It can feel like a monumental effort. Once I’m going, it’s not a problem. It’s the initial motivation that is so difficult. Also, please note ADHD differs in severity and type from person to person. This is a problem that has cost me my bread, so it’s not just something I’m saying for the sake of it. I’ve missed out on things I wanted to attend, like dates, for the same reason. Sometimes it’s like it literally requires an emergency to fire up my adrenaline to get me to do stuff.

Back home, I wasn’t in charge of most of the structure in my life, like around the home, finances and I always asked someone to take me to church, often in the car, so it wasn’t that hard, motivationally speaking. Also, everyone is religious and always talking about God and so it all adds up to give you a boost. Now, I have to motivate myself to do all sorts of things I find very unpleasant around the house and to earn money. It’s always a big effort! I want to go to mass, in my desires, but I’m not always motivated to go.
 
Rubee said:
You misunderstand. It’s not that I’m unable to stay through to the end of mass. Yes, it’s a very distracted time especially now that I’m in a country that doesn’t use English and I don’t speak the language. That’s not the issue. Once I’m there, I’ll participate even if distracted.

The problem, regarding structure, is getting myself out of the house to go. It can feel like a monumental effort. Once I’m going, it’s not a problem. It’s the initial motivation that is so difficult. Also, please note ADHD differs in severity and type from person to person. This is a problem that has cost me my bread, so it’s not just something I’m saying for the sake of it. I’ve missed out on things I wanted to attend, like dates, for the same reason. Sometimes it’s like it literally requires an emergency to fire up my adrenaline to get me to do stuff.

Back home, I wasn’t in charge of most of the structure in my life, like around the home, finances and I always asked someone to take me to church, often in the car, so it wasn’t that hard, motivationally speaking. Also, everyone is religious and always talking about God and so it all adds up to give you a boost. Now, I have to motivate myself to do all sorts of things I find very unpleasant around the house and to earn money. It’s always a big effort! I want to go to mass, in my desires, but I’m not always motivated to go.
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I get it, I really do. I had similar motivational issues for years. I just had to reach a point where I started creating structure for myself and forcing myself to go. Once it became an ingrained habit I was alright, and it hasn’t been as big an issue.

I know that ADHD differs from person to person, especially in severity. I’m generally able to function alright without meds, but I know people who absolutely can’t get by without them. That’s why I suggested speaking with a physician, as your’s sounds to be a case like that. I know that feeling, of it taking an emergency to get you to act. I have that problem with my work, which is really the main reason I do stay on medication.

In the end, this is really something you need to discuss with your priest.
 
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I don’t know anyone at the parish that well. But thats a good idea. The few times I’ve gone, my friend from work who noticed I wasnt going to church basically “took” me. I think God sent her. There are times that I’ve started with a BANG! And it was so good that I ended up going daily in the morning. Then when I stopped, it’s like it just disappeared and even just once a week suddenly goes back to being like climbing a steep mountain.
 
Yes, they did. You know what? I didn’t even know how much structure was around me, keeping my life together, until I was all alone and found myself a pile of goo.
 
I agree. Ritalin has proved useless for me. I’ll ask my doctor if we can try something else. I’m anxious not just about mass but also being able to support myself as an adult.
 
Yes, when I go, I always aim for either Saturday evening or Sunday evening for the half hour mass.
 
Pray for me, then. I did so well with my family. Maybe I’ll find an arrangement or proper medication.
 
I don’t know where you are on the continuum. That’s something to discuss with a doctor.
As you develop your personal schedule, consider how to alternate exercise with stationary activity. This will help with the focus to the point that you may not even need medication, again depending on where you are on the continuum. There actually was a time when ADHD was seldom diagnosed.
You might take advantage of the Church’s daily rhythm when developing your prayer life.
One example would be make your bed (a simple physical task) followed by morning prayer. That starts the day giving it to God. Treat your Spiritual life the same as a physical regime. Start slow and build up. Give God 15 minutes in the morning.
One advantage of the rosary, which you might say later in the day is that the beads are manipulative. You can say the rosary while walking.
You mentioned daily Mass as helping structure your week. It’s a consideration, if it fits your schedule. Is it better to sit at the front of the church to see better, or toward the back in order to stand if you need to, so as not to distract others? Is it better to sit on the left side (as it is for me) or the right?
You might consider volunteering to usher, depending on the type of ADHD you have. Is it a matter of focus or needing to move?

I realize I just asked a lot a questions. Again don’t answer. They are for you alone.

Basically, set the structure for your day. There needs to be leeway within that structure. You aren’t any different than anybody else.
 
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