Adjusting our Looks: from braces to padded bras to cosmetic surgery....where do we draw the line?

[wcknight]

Feeling good about yourself has to come from within. I’ve never been blessed with good looks. I’ve always been the opposite of tall, dark amd handsome. Yet somehow, I managed to find a wife and have a wonderful family.

Luckily, someone overlooked the physical deficits and saw something attractive beyond outside appearances. I could use braces, a few inches of added height, a nose job and who knows what else. But then I would not be who I am. I’m perfectly happy with what God gave me.

When God said “good looks”, I must have thought He said “good books”. Maybe that’s why I used to hate reading. I’ve been blessed in some many other ways, and since this is the way God made me, I think I’ll just stay this way.

 

[Newbie2]

I have known any number of people who have had consmetic surgery for nothing more than purely cosmetic reasons. They have enhanced, removed, tightened, reduced various body parts–not so much for vanity’s sake alone, but because the offending body part is such a source or embarassment, preoccupation and insecurity for them. Once remedied, these folks are like sinners who have been forgiven. They can move forward with a more balanced, healthy and positive outlook on their life and interpersonal relations and have far more self-confidence and poise. Who can argue with that kind of result or insist that someone keep a prominent nose, unsightly mole, a flat or overly-voluptuous chest or baggy eyes that date them far beyond their actual years. It’s not for everyone, but I say more power to you if you can remedy something that causes you angst.

“More power to you”?

Hmmm. Is that proper motivation?

I didn’t see any mention of teeth whitening, maybe I missed it or it’s covered under other dental procedures.

It would seem that any of the aforementioned procedures in the thread, if not done for purely medical reasons, could be suspect depending on the motivation of the individual…and that’s where the key lies.

Some of us have better self-esteem than others, and it’s easier to accept ourselves as we are. On the other hand, there are some that are bordering on psycological self-exteem disorders that feel they need to make some questionable changes in order to be functional.

Good question; good thread.

 

[Pug]

I have a sister who had breast implants. She was as flat chested as any boy and has almost no body fat anywhere. She was always ashamed of herself and her body. She couldn’t ever even make simple life decisions (like what to cook for dinner) without crying and calling me. After having the surgery, she became very out-going. She has a normal life.

…]

Keep an open mind…physical deformities (real or imagined) can lead to mental health issues and mental health is just as important (maybe more so) than physical health. Because you will see people with mental problems (depression etc…) have physical problems frequently.

The sorrow your sister must have suffered makes me wonder. Are humans by nature designed to care about what other people think? As we grow up, do we truly have an image of ourselves that is completely separate from how others view us, or is our view of ourselves very much a product of how others see us? (and for a Christian that includes how God sees us, naturally)

We tell ourselves things like “Don’t concern yourself about what other people think of you,” but is that really emotionally possible? We are such social creatures that it seems unlikely to me. Since we have no control over how other people view certain physical features, perhaps it is understandable that we seek to control the features themselves.

 

[BeneathMyWings]

I guess it’s different for someone who is older in life and chooses to get braces…but when I was a kid I was FORCED into it cause my mother has some weird OCD problems with how teeth look. I have thought about cosmetic surgery, and seeing as how I have three tattoos (Which I got before I returned to the church) wouldn’t it be a sin to violate my body even more and get them removed?

God gives you free will, and if you use that free will to get cosmetic surgery or a tattoo, then you make that choice. I think that ultimately God will forgive you.

 

[Listener]

I think that a lot of this is just plain nuts. I believe that there has always been a Church teaching that mutilation of the body is not allowed, unless there is a valid medical reason.

I have seen shows on Oprah where women have had literally dozens of face lifts. Most of these women don’t even look good - they look terrible!

I believe that there should be a medical reason for surgery. Some women need breast reduction surgery because there breasts are too large, and it causes them all kinds of aches and pains. This is fine. Breast enhancement is also fine if you have had a masectomy due to breast cancer. However, in my book, silicone breast implants are not fine! They are completely phony and unnecessary. They turn women into playthings.

I have nothing against ordinary make up and pierced ears, but I think that all the body piercing that goes on these days is completely gross! If I see a young person with his/her nose or tongue pierced, it makes me sick in my stomach. The same goes for tattoos!

I always thought that the Catholic Church had a rule against mutilating your body, but I’m not sure where to find it. It is something about our bodies being temples of the Holy Spirit.

 

[PRmerger]

I.I have nothing against ordinary make up and pierced ears, but I think that all the body piercing that goes on these days is completely gross! If I see a young person with his/her nose or tongue pierced, it makes me sick in my stomach. The same goes for tattoos!.

Therein lies the question! Why do you think make-up and pierced ears are ok, but tattoos and breast augmentation are not? Couldn’t a case be made that pierced ears are actually a mutilation of the body?

 

[jc-servant]

Therein lies the question! Why do you think make-up and pierced ears are ok, but tattoos and breast augmentation are not? Couldn’t a case be made that pierced ears are actually a mutilation of the body?

Some people do think pierced ears are a mutilation. My father made me wait about a year to see if I would forget or change my mind. I waited him out and never regretted getting pierced ears. It makes me feel feminine to have earrings on, possibly because for many years I had to wear an unflattering uniform at work, no colored polish and short hair (or pinned up hair). Make up was mainly impractical, so little earrings were my nod to being a woman.

I thought about getting a discreet nose ring like Indian women wear when I was younger. I had a friend from India who told me that in contrast to American parents who might freak because their teen got pierced in some manner, her gma was freaking because she had never gotten her nose pierced. The gma would cry every time she visited her in India, so finally she gave in to please her. It is funny how much standards can change in different cultures.

 

[mercygate]

What about a guy having hair implants?

Many men facing hair loss, especially younger men, face a loss of self confidence and self esteem. So would there be anything wrong with wearing a toupee or having implants to help prevent too much of a loss in self value?

Certainly it is cosmetic, but the fact remains that society places some value on looks and people can be mean. Women, simply fixing their hair and wearing make-up are enhancing their looks, probably as much for themselves as for others.

Personally I see nothing wrong with any of these things with the presumption that one is not doing it to flaunt themselves aggressively to others (as a stripper would do with breast implants . . . but its likely she would not be a practicing Catholic!)

OFF TOPIC ALERT!!

Do not go for hair transplants! When your hairline recedes past the harvest area, you are left with scars that can’t be fixed. DH shaved his head bald as an egg last fall, and before he did it he haunted web sites/forums where people compared notes on hair. By FAR, repeat: BY FAR the most miserable were the men who had gone the route of transplant.

 

[mercygate]

A point the talmudic scholars would toss into the mix is the assaultive nature of surgery. Surgery is a physical assault.

That said, until the age of 15, my nickname was “Dumbo.” I had my ears pinned back surgically, and my life changed from that moment forward. I was not religious at the time. My parents offered the option and I jumped at it. Would I do it again? You bet! It made something distractive and detractive go away. My ears are still large, and they are not “pretty” but nobody calls me Dumbo any more.

On the other hand, my figure has been labeled a “carpenter’s dream” (flat as a board). It never occurred to me to have implants. Frankly, the equipment works just fine and I would not want to sacrificed either the erotic sensitivity nor risk messing up the lactating function by having surgery.

 

[mercygate]

I can even see a legitimate case that could be made for tummy tucks for those who have lost significant amounts of weight. After all those rolls of skin can impeed range of motion and make excercise difficult. I think this is a case where judge not lest ye be judged is a good motto.

This is often considered part of the plan. The skin flab is part of the problem and needs to be removed.

 

[pyropam]

I think that a lot of this is just plain nuts. I believe that there has always been a Church teaching that mutilation of the body is not allowed, unless there is a valid medical reason.

I have nothing against ordinary make up and pierced ears, but I think that all the body piercing that goes on these days is completely gross! If I see a young person with his/her nose or tongue pierced, it makes me sick in my stomach. The same goes for tattoos!

I always thought that the Catholic Church had a rule against mutilating your body, but I’m not sure where to find it. It is something about our bodies being temples of the Holy Spirit.

You are a funny person… Ears are ok to be pierced but not other body parts? UUUMMMM who are you to make that decision??? Did you know that Moses’ wife had her nose pierced? That was the common wedding ring for the time.

I’m proud to say MY PRIEST JUST GOT A TATOO! He got a very pretty cross on his forearm. Just about a month ago. This is not mutilation.

Mutilation would be to do something like cutting off ones fingers.

 

[tradition]

I just don’t think you should alter yourself just to fit into the cooky cutter looks which society, Hollywood and the media defines as
necessary to"… fulfill your facinating future functions to the fullest fullness fast…be a better person, and have better relations,
and be better than your neighbors…"

Some alterations for health reasons, or grooming are OK.

 

[goofyjim]

What are everyone’s thoughts on the morality of re-designing our bodies through various techniques?

Is it wrong to disdain breast augmentation, yet wear a padded bra?

What about braces? This is not a simple endeavor–it takes years of adjustments, some degree of discomfort, not to mention the financial commitment–and usually it’s for cosmetic rather than because of a true anatomic deformity.

And makeup? Isn’t it really adjusting the physiognomy we’ve been given by God?

My feeling is that most people in these forums would say that braces, using padded bras, makeup are morally fine, but that cosmetic surgery is stepping over the line.

My question: why? Why is it ok to alter one’s body up to a cerain point?

What can be wrong with braces? They are used mostly to have teeth grow in properly in the future.

 

[goofyjim]

You are a funny person… Ears are ok to be pierced but not other body parts? UUUMMMM who are you to make that decision??? Did you know that Moses’ wife had her nose pierced? That was the common wedding ring for the time.

I’m proud to say MY PRIEST JUST GOT A TATOO! He got a very pretty cross on his forearm. Just about a month ago. This is not mutilation.

Mutilation would be to do something like cutting off ones fingers.

I had my left ear pierced last month. My girlfriend thinks it is neat. I find nothing sinful about it.

 

[lak611]

What can be wrong with braces? They are used mostly to have teeth grow in properly in the future.

My orthodontist went too aggressive when he gave me braces back when I was about 12 years old. Due to the aggressive treatment, the roots of my upper two front teeth were disintegrated. I will probably lose those teeth by the time I turn 45.

 

[GraceDK]

-I dyed my hair a bit darker… it works wonderfully on “hay-hair” with split ends… the darker colour hides these:thumbsup:
-I wear make-up every day and use fairly good skin-products… I am aware that a healthier diet might attain a better-looking skin for me but I just have a sugar-addiction .

• I wear lences in stead of glasses and have for quite some years… my eye colour is beautiful and needs no change.
• I wear padded bras and have done it since I stopped growing because I am not blessed with average-size breasts and wearing a padded bra really makes me forget what might else become a problem for me. I do it in order to feel self confident with my self and others… this is the reality of what I feel… I am not being disrespectful to God in my own view …
• my ears are pierced although I mostly don’t wear ear rings…
• I like dresses … and a little heal sometimes…

Just today I thought it would be great to look a bit like Mischa Barton. I borrowed some tips from her about make-up and hair and started cutting here and there…:yup: …
I dont see anything wrong with these things. Women have always wanted to be pretty… its a part of their nature to strive for beauty both inside and out. If we live in an intimate relationship with God we’ll know when were crossing the line and getting too vain or pathological.

Why not fix your teeth if you can … and feel better… I mean… would anyone not want another person to feel good?