Admonish sinners or pray for them?

[juggernaut]

“Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me. If I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, or from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you will have saved your life. Again, if a righteous man turns from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die; because you have not warned him, he shall die for his sin, and his righteous deeds which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require at your hand. Nevertheless if you warn the righteous man not to sin, and he does not sin, he shall surely live, because he took warning; and you will have saved your life.”

If you have friends who are living in sin, are we supposed to confront and admonish them, and be seen as a self-righteous windbag or should we just quietly pray for their conversion? Both? Neither?

 

[baltobetsy]

Do what is most likely to have a good effect. Acting like a self-righteous windbag usually doesn’t do it. Praying always helps.

If the sinner you’re concerned about is someone under your spiritual care (a child of yours, for example), you have the duty to correct. If it’s a perfect stranger, you do not.

If it’s a friend, you have to be very delicate. Will it come as a surprise to the person that what they’re doing is wrong? Maybe you should provide them the information then. Do you know for sure that they know the teaching and reject it? That’s a tougher job. Either way, it needs the foundation of prayer and possibly even penance on their behalf before you even think of saying anything. When you do say something, it needs to be in the most loving way possible. If you can steer a conversation to the subject at hand, with the other person bringing it up, or at least willingly participating, that’s a good beginning. Ask a question that forces them to answer for themselves that the sin is not good for them. Offer your support if they want it. Don’t beat the subject to death - plant a seed and let the other person take it from there. Trust the Holy Spirit to do the heavy lifting. You can’t force anyone to do anything.

Above all, keep praying.

Hope this helps.
Betsy

 

[Matt_CL]

Trust the Holy Spirit to do the heavy lifting.

I love that! “trust the Holy Spirit to do the heavy lifting”

:harp:

 

[juggernaut]

Do what is most likely to have a good effect. Acting like a self-righteous windbag usually doesn’t do it. Praying always helps.

If the sinner you’re concerned about is someone under your spiritual care (a child of yours, for example), you have the duty to correct. If it’s a perfect stranger, you do not.

If it’s a friend, you have to be very delicate. Will it come as a surprise to the person that what they’re doing is wrong? Maybe you should provide them the information then. Do you know for sure that they know the teaching and reject it? That’s a tougher job. Either way, it needs the foundation of prayer and possibly even penance on their behalf before you even think of saying anything. When you do say something, it needs to be in the most loving way possible. If you can steer a conversation to the subject at hand, with the other person bringing it up, or at least willingly participating, that’s a good beginning. Ask a question that forces them to answer for themselves that the sin is not good for them. Offer your support if they want it. Don’t beat the subject to death - plant a seed and let the other person take it from there. Trust the Holy Spirit to do the heavy lifting. You can’t force anyone to do anything.

Above all, keep praying.

Hope this helps.
Betsy

Thanks, that is good middle ground advice. From the way scripture speaks, it sounds like you’re supposed to take a “darn the torpedoes” attitude and fire off your admonition and accept the consequences as penance or else risk disobeying God by failing to act.

 

[baltobetsy]

Thanks, that is good middle ground advice. From the way scripture speaks, it sounds like you’re supposed to take a “darn the torpedoes” attitude and fire off your admonition and accept the consequences as penance or else risk disobeying God by failing to act.

The scriptures tell us to be as “cunning as serpents” in one place, and in another, Jesus praises the unjust steward in a parable for using his common sense to assure his survival after he’s fired. The Church does not require us to check our common sense at the door for the sake of blind obedience. We are to use our intellect to figure out the best way to do God’s will.

Betsy

 

[JRKH]

If you have friends who are living in sin, are we supposed to confront and admonish them, and be seen as a self-righteous windbag or should we just quietly pray for their conversion? Both? Neither?

Both.
There are a number of ways to “confront and admonish” though so coming off as a self-rightious windbag can certainly be avoided in many cases.

When speaking, speak always with kindness and do not belabor the point.
When acting, do so with gentleness and love.

If this requires that you not participate in certain things or activities bow out gracefully.
If you must participate in situations that are uncomfortable, do so with civility and Charity.

Always remember that the greatest tesimony you can give is your own Christlike life.

Peace
James

 

[UnreadApologist]

If you have friends who are living in sin, are we supposed to confront and admonish them, and be seen as a self-righteous windbag or should we just quietly pray for their conversion? Both? Neither?

Or?

I don’t think an approach that involves dichotomous thinking like this is really valuable. Why is it that those who admonish must be seen as “self-righteous” or “windbags?” Sounds to me like you’ve made up your mind based on your perception of how you’ll be seen. Which is going to do you no good, frnakly.

Yes, you admonish sinners, but you also instruct the ignorant and counsel the doubtful, and these can and should be done in charity, not through pride, self-righteousness or pomposity. And you also pray for them quite separately and quite quietly.

 

[UnreadApologist]

If you have friends who are living in sin, are we supposed to confront and admonish them, and be seen as a self-righteous windbag or should we just quietly pray for their conversion? Both? Neither?

Or?

I don’t think an approach that involves dichotomous thinking like this is really valuable. Why is it that those who admonish must be seen as “self-righteous” or “windbags?” Sounds to me like you’ve made up your mind based on your perception of how you’ll be seen. Which is going to do you no good, frankly.

Yes, you admonish sinners, but you also instruct the ignorant and counsel the doubtful, and these can and should be done in charity, not through pride, self-righteousness or pomposity. And you also pray for them quite separately and quite quietly.

 

[Nec5]

Or?

I don’t think an approach that involves dichotomous thinking like this is really valuable. Why is it that those who admonish must be seen as “self-righteous” or “windbags?” Sounds to me like you’ve made up your mind based on your perception of how you’ll be seen. Which is going to do you no good, frankly.

Yes, you admonish sinners, but you also instruct the ignorant and counsel the doubtful, and these can and should be done in charity, not through pride, self-righteousness or pomposity. And you also pray for them quite separately and quite quietly.

Well said. 100% accurate.