Admonishing a non-Catholic friend

[timeandeternity]

I have a good friend who is a great Christian, though not Catholic. She loves to talk, and most of the time it’s a lot of fun–but every now and then she’ll tell me some nasty fact about someone. I know that there’s very little chance that she’s actually trying to damage their reputation; however, just for the sake of this question, suppose that she did. If she were a Catholic, I know I would definitely be obliged to bring this sin to her attention since it is considered to be mortal. Since this friend has no concept of mortal sin, what would be the “admonition obligation?” I’m sorry to sound so rules-centered, but this really has got me thinking…

 

[Agape_Thom]

I have a good friend who is a great Christian, though not Catholic. She loves to talk, and most of the time it’s a lot of fun–but every now and then she’ll tell me some nasty fact about someone. I know that there’s very little chance that she’s actually trying to damage their reputation; however, just for the sake of this question, suppose that she did. If she were a Catholic, I know I would definitely be obliged to bring this sin to her attention since it is considered to be mortal. Since this friend has no concept of mortal sin, what would be the “admonition obligation?” I’m sorry to sound so rules-centered, but this really has got me thinking…

While it is true that most Protestants do not categorize sin into mortal and venial boxes, most of us will agree that sin is sin. As Chistians (neither Catholic or Protestant, but simply Christians) we have an obligation to point out to our brothers and sisters areas in which we fall short of God’s glory. If your friend is a person of faith she will understand if you speak to her in love, out of a concern for her spritual well-being and not moralisticly or judgementaly.

 

[PatriceA]

If it was me, I don’t know if I’d even talk about it being a “sin”. I would, with the most charity possible, just tell her I don’t appreciate those kind of remarks, about anyone, from anyone. It shouldn’t matter if she doesn’t understand venial or moral sins. It wouldn’t matter to me if the friend was an atheist, you can still tell her the remarks are inappropriate and she could be offending not only the person she is talking about, but the people she is talking to as well as giving herself a tainted reputation. Who wants to be known as the person that says nasty stuff about other people?

 

[Myqyl]

When you describe her as a “great Christian” I got an image of someone that is very dedicated to our Lord. I would likely respond with a question like :

{friend} : Have you heard about {fill in a name}? she {fill in gossip}…

{me} : Nope, hadn’t heard… You know, I’m curious… What does your denomination say about gossiping? I’m a Catholic and it’s rather strongly discouraged… I’ve often wondered what your Church teaches on the subject…

Subtle? Probably not… But I’ve rarely been accused of being overly subtle. Most devout non-Catholic Christians I know absolutely LOVE to talk about their faith. A trait I greatly admire and have tried to emulate. So ask her what her faith teaches about gossip… It might get her thinking about what she says…

But that’s just me…

God bless

 

[ElizabethPH]

I would say a prayer and lead the conversation elsewhere; like saying positive things about this person and perhaps reminding your friend that if you can’t say something nice about someone don’t say anything at all.

 

[vera_dicere]

There’s plenty of gossip galore where I work. And the other day I found myself in the lunch room over hearing the most mean spirited nasty stuff ever. I pointed out that “gossip” used to be a positive term, but somewhere along the line, people pollutted it with nasty hateful commentary about the lives of others. I said it rather light heartedly but my point was made as they changed teh topic and those women havent’ “gossipped” in front of me since.

I’ve also made comment before about “man, its like Chinese whispers, gossip, you take your life into your own hands when you start mentioning people’s private lives”.

There are plenty of ways around dealing with gossip without even having to mention God or religion!