Y
yinekka
Guest
Adolescents & same-sex attraction
Taken from Credo’s blog
credibility.blogspot.com
In my experience in youth ministry and teaching, I’ve come across several young adolescents who experienced confusion about sexual orientation. It is not uncommon. Sometimes it doesn’t even relate to an experience of same-sex attraction (SSA). It can stem from poor body image satisfaction, poor social interaction, and depression. Aside from the current social phenomenen of gay chic (witness the popularity of Queer Eye and the prevalence of gay tv characters), its not uncommon for young people to consider their sexual orientation after being having romantic movements rebuffed.
In the case of boys, it is not uncommon for experiences like showering with other boys after sport, to prompt the question. Its natural to be curious about other people’s bodies, and looking at another guy’s wang doesn’t make you gay. It means you’re curious. But hey, if you get caught looking at another guy, to see how you “measure up” then you’re labelled as being gay; and labels disable.
Its also not uncommon for people to either have had an experience of same-sex attraction or even to act on it (especially when under the influence of drugs or alcohol). However these experiences and attractions to do not necessarily mean you are homosexual.
Its common for us to have role models, and in our appearance-obssessed culture, its not uncommon for people to choose role models more for their physical characteristics that their moral ones (case in point: Paris Hilton). Having a same gender role model is good; but basing your admiration for them upon their appearance can lead to awkward questions, and a kind of homosexual cognitive dissonance: If a guy had pictures of Kelly Slater (surfer) around his bedroom, its probably because he admires the surfer, but one stray comment at school, or at home, or on the bus, or wherever, may convince him that having posters of a guy is “gay.” “…And if just having the posters is gay, and I admire the guy in the poster, does that mean I’m gay? Oh God, I must be!”
Part of the “gay advertising” that so permeates our culture (and I’m not referring to the media) is that if you like another person of the same gender (or if you’ve had an experience) then you’re gay. Case closed.
However, life isn’t that cut and dried. Especially during adolesence, which above all else is a time for testing many different boundaries (physical, emotional, social) to see “where” you belong, its easy for someone to succumb to the idea that since they’ve had an experience of SSA, then they’re gay.
For me, as I’ve said before and in other places, that’s the danger in pushing young people to “come out” and self-label as being gay. Doing so involves accepting everything that comes with being homosexual: persecution, flamboyance, promiscuity, and social alternativism. If that’s who someone is, and they make an adult discernment about it, then fair enough. But for young people still developing and cementing their identities, taking on a gay persona can be horribly traumatic. It can ruin - or jeopardise - vital relationships (especially within the family) and friendships. It can lead to a head-on run into practices that can jeopardise your physical, psychological and spiritual health. But most of all, it runs the risk of concealing the real person; eg. “Ryan” disappears and only “Gay Ryan” is left. This is dangerous at any time of life, but during adolesence, when the search for identity is most potent, it can become very destructive and lead to people being psychologically under-developed, or - in other words - the real person isn’t realised.
Taken from Credo’s blog
credibility.blogspot.com
In my experience in youth ministry and teaching, I’ve come across several young adolescents who experienced confusion about sexual orientation. It is not uncommon. Sometimes it doesn’t even relate to an experience of same-sex attraction (SSA). It can stem from poor body image satisfaction, poor social interaction, and depression. Aside from the current social phenomenen of gay chic (witness the popularity of Queer Eye and the prevalence of gay tv characters), its not uncommon for young people to consider their sexual orientation after being having romantic movements rebuffed.
In the case of boys, it is not uncommon for experiences like showering with other boys after sport, to prompt the question. Its natural to be curious about other people’s bodies, and looking at another guy’s wang doesn’t make you gay. It means you’re curious. But hey, if you get caught looking at another guy, to see how you “measure up” then you’re labelled as being gay; and labels disable.
Its also not uncommon for people to either have had an experience of same-sex attraction or even to act on it (especially when under the influence of drugs or alcohol). However these experiences and attractions to do not necessarily mean you are homosexual.
Its common for us to have role models, and in our appearance-obssessed culture, its not uncommon for people to choose role models more for their physical characteristics that their moral ones (case in point: Paris Hilton). Having a same gender role model is good; but basing your admiration for them upon their appearance can lead to awkward questions, and a kind of homosexual cognitive dissonance: If a guy had pictures of Kelly Slater (surfer) around his bedroom, its probably because he admires the surfer, but one stray comment at school, or at home, or on the bus, or wherever, may convince him that having posters of a guy is “gay.” “…And if just having the posters is gay, and I admire the guy in the poster, does that mean I’m gay? Oh God, I must be!”
Part of the “gay advertising” that so permeates our culture (and I’m not referring to the media) is that if you like another person of the same gender (or if you’ve had an experience) then you’re gay. Case closed.
However, life isn’t that cut and dried. Especially during adolesence, which above all else is a time for testing many different boundaries (physical, emotional, social) to see “where” you belong, its easy for someone to succumb to the idea that since they’ve had an experience of SSA, then they’re gay.
For me, as I’ve said before and in other places, that’s the danger in pushing young people to “come out” and self-label as being gay. Doing so involves accepting everything that comes with being homosexual: persecution, flamboyance, promiscuity, and social alternativism. If that’s who someone is, and they make an adult discernment about it, then fair enough. But for young people still developing and cementing their identities, taking on a gay persona can be horribly traumatic. It can ruin - or jeopardise - vital relationships (especially within the family) and friendships. It can lead to a head-on run into practices that can jeopardise your physical, psychological and spiritual health. But most of all, it runs the risk of concealing the real person; eg. “Ryan” disappears and only “Gay Ryan” is left. This is dangerous at any time of life, but during adolesence, when the search for identity is most potent, it can become very destructive and lead to people being psychologically under-developed, or - in other words - the real person isn’t realised.