Adopt before birthing?

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Geremia

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Should not married Catholics try to adopt whenever possible before having children of their own? It seems that if we Catholics were truly pro-life, then we would adopt until the world contained no orphans before we would bring new souls into existence. What are your thoughts on this?
 
Geremia said:
Should not married Catholics try to adopt whenever possible before having children of their own? It seems that ***if we Catholics were truly pro-life, then we would adopt until the world contained no orphans before we would bring new souls into existence. ***What are your thoughts on this?
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By that logic, Catholics would never give birth to their own children. 🤷 It would also require the use of strict NFP to prevent children in countless marriages, so, no, Catholics do not have to adopt. You can be pro-life without adopting. Adoption is a beautiful thing but having a marriage that welcomes a child into that union is also beautiful.
 
kevinsgirl said:
By that logic, Catholics would never give birth to their own children. 🤷 It would also require the use of strict NFP to prevent children in countless marriages, so, no, Catholics do not have to adopt. You can be pro-life without adopting. Adoption is a beautiful thing but having a marriage that welcomes a child into that union is also beautiful.
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So you think married Catholics not having any children of their own would be contrary to the Sacrament of Matrimony? Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut
 
My thoughts?

God is in control of my fertility. There have been times in my married life that God has said, “No,” to my prayers for children, and so far, He has said, “Yes,” only twice.

I will not presume to know more than Our Lord, when it comes to my fertility. My fertility, and any children He gives to me, are gifts. I will accept them graciously and with joy.
 
Geremia said:
So you think married Catholics not having any children of their own would be contrary to the Sacrament of Matrimony? Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut
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Adoption is not contrary to the sacrament of Matrimony, but the conjugal act finds its ultimate realization in the procreation of offspring, which proceed from–to use the language of the Catechism–“the very heart of that mutual giving” ( 2366CCC).

Some couples, through no fault of their own, are simply unable to conceive children, and the Church encourages them to adopt.

It would not be best in the Church’s eyes, however, for a couple to adopt children while using family planning methods to avoid conceiving children of their own when they are perfectly capable of doing so.

Can a couple use NFP to prevent pregnancy in favor of adopting unwanted children?
 
My philosophy has been: have as many as you can naturally (8 children, 7 still living), then adopt those who need homes (3 this year - we pray if all goes well.) Gets the best of both worlds.
 
GhostMan said:
My philosophy has been: have as many as you can naturally (8 children, 7 still living), then adopt those who need homes (3 this year - we pray if all goes well.) Gets the best of both worlds.
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👍 👍 👍
Life is Beautiful 🙂
You guys are awesome 🙂 sounds like a beautiful family!
 
Geremia said:
Should not married Catholics try to adopt whenever possible before having children of their own? It seems that if we Catholics were truly pro-life, then we would adopt until the world contained no orphans before we would bring new souls into existence. What are your thoughts on this?
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is there some reason a couple could not both adopt and trust in God with regard to having children of their own? No it is not inherently more moral or just to adopt first. What is moral and just is adhering to God’s plan for marriage, which is openness to children, however he chooses to send them.

for one thing couples may find it very hard to qualify for adoption for many reasons. for one, abortion has already killed so many babies that would be welcomed by couples who have been waiting, sometimes for years to adopt. for another, agencies often require that couples may adopt only after trying and failing to conceive their own children. for a third, the process can be very expensive and beyond the reach of many couples.

to artificially and deliberately thwart their own fertility, in order to adopt, is a perversion of God’s gifts and his intent for marriage and children.
 
puzzleannie said:
is there some reason a couple could not both adopt and trust in God with regard to having children of their own? No it is not inherently more moral or just to adopt first. What is moral and just is adhering to God’s plan for marriage, which is openness to children, however he chooses to send them.

for one thing couples may find it very hard to qualify for adoption for many reasons. for one, abortion has already killed so many babies that would be welcomed by couples who have been waiting, sometimes for years to adopt. for another, agencies often require that couples may adopt only after trying and failing to conceive their own children. for a third, the process can be very expensive and beyond the reach of many couples.

to artificially and deliberately thwart their own fertility, in order to adopt, is a perversion of God’s gifts and his intent for marriage and children.
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The sad truth is: there are thousands and thousands of children who are waiting to be adopted, all free and without any cost to the parents. Sadly, they are in foster care; they are like sofas from the “scratch and dent” section of the store.

They are broken and beaten, lonely, confused and afraid. Some are infants, some older. Some are abused, some neglected, some just no longer wanted. Left in foster care, they almost inevitably start the next generation of children in need of homes. There is only one way to beat the cycle: when Godly parents take them in and make them their own.

Gee, kind of like us and God, eh?

There is no shortage of children in this country. Only a shortage of homes.
 
GhostMan said:
The sad truth is: there are thousands and thousands of children who are waiting to be adopted, all free and without any cost to the parents. Sadly, they are in foster care; they are like sofas from the “scratch and dent” section of the store.

They are broken and beaten, lonely, confused and afraid. Some are infants, some older. Some are abused, some neglected, some just no longer wanted. Left in foster care, they almost inevitably start the next generation of children in need of homes. There is only one way to beat the cycle: when Godly parents take them in and make them their own.

Gee, kind of like us and God, eh?

There is no shortage of children in this country. Only a shortage of homes.
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Wow, you are VERY inspiring.
I would love one day to be able to do what you’re doing and be able to reach out to children who need it. Well done and God bless you!!!

:blessyou:
 
GhostMan said:
My philosophy has been: have as many as you can naturally (8 children, 7 still living), then adopt those who need homes (3 this year - we pray if all goes well.) Gets the best of both worlds.
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That is awesome! I pray that everything goes well and you have your 3 beautiful children this year!
 
Isn’t adoption extremely expensive with long waiting lists? Wouldn’t trying to adopt just make it harder for infertile people?
 
A married couple is supposed to be open to life, so perhaps they should prayerfully consider both ways to have kids: biologically conceiving and adoption. Like Ghostman pointed out, they don’t have to be mutually exclusive! I think we have to be careful not to put one or the other as ‘better’ than the other. Conceiving your own children is a beautiful thing and a gift from God. Adopting a child is a beautiful thing and a gift from God. Whichever way you go, don’t forget to include God in your discussion and decision. 👍
 
Yes, that is just what I meant in our message. You need to get special permission for this type of union.
 
GhostMan said:
There is no shortage of children in this country. Only a shortage of homes.
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yes and the qualifications and hurdles to adoption keep many prospective parents from doing so, as do costs. also many if not most in foster care are not eligible for adoption because of difficulty in terminating parental rights. been around the block on this several times and just gave up. DD works in the foster care system in her state and we know the score. to return to OP no there is no justification for artificially preventing conception in order to adopt.
 
puzzleannie said:
yes and the qualifications and hurdles to adoption keep many prospective parents from doing so, as do costs. also many if not most in foster care are not eligible for adoption because of difficulty in terminating parental rights. been around the block on this several times and just gave up. DD works in the foster care system in her state and we know the score. to return to OP no there is no justification for artificially preventing conception in order to adopt.
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I’m so sorry that’s been your experience!
in our state, we have lots of adoptable children. Many have already had parental rights terminated - and most are on the way to doing so. We are in a foster-adopt program, which means that children who are likely to be TPR’d (have their parents’ rights terminated) are the only ones that will come to live with us. This is a dire need for foster and adoptive homes.
It is very difficult to adopt a healthy white infant from foster care (but that’s why we belong to the Universal Church!😃 ). Moreover, if you aren’t okay taking a child before rights have been terminated, your chances of adopting a young child are drastically reduced.

Dh and I are both in the process of adopting and trying to conceive. We figure God’s will will be done somehow :).
 
pentecostbaby said:
. This is a dire need for foster and adoptive homes.
).
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This is true. I had 2 children and adopted 2. Probably better to have your biological children first, because - from a purely practical standpoint - children who have been in foster care will often have issues. If they have the examples of older, emotionally stable children in the home, their chances of healing improve.
My older sons are a great source of support and encouragement to my two youngest, who absolutely adore them.
 
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