Adopt Children AND Become A Nun?

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I don’t think it’s a good idea to become a religious at all if you have children, not even after the children are grown. My own mother continues to play an important role in my life even though I’m now in my mid 20s, and I can’t imagine that I wouldn’t want to be available to help my children for as long as I’m alive.
 
You are going to adopt a child with a “best friend”. (The child’s father). Raise this child. Then leave the male best friend and become a nun? This will damage a child. Why do you need to adopt a child of a man who is already the father but you are not romantically involved with? This is a horrible idea for a child.
 
Even if you can’t now, once the child grows to adulthood you’ll be able to.
 
Yeah, I didn’t understand that either. Is the best friend the biological father of the child?
 
There used to be an informal organization called “Sister Moms.” I don’t know if it still exists, but I knew many members from both contemplative and active communities. I also know of at least one professed sister who adopted 2 children (as a sister). And there are some priests who also have adopted children.

Obviously, there are many widows with children who became sisters, and (in the US) at least 2 unwed mothers founded congregations in the 19th century. This isn’t commonplace, but it’s hardly unheard of.
 
You’ve started with “Let’s say…” Is this a real situation?

If the child’s father is still alive, I don’t see how you’d be able to adopt, unless he doesn’t have custody. In that case, the adoption would be his, and you’d likely be appointed some form of guardianship. Or are you planning to adopt both of them?

Despite a platonic relationship, you’d still be giving everyone the wrong impression if living together. You’d need an actual title, like nanny, housekeeper, or governess/tutor, and receive some form of recompense for it not to be cohabitation.

Your mention of when everyone is out of the house, could you be a nun, is probably along the lines of lay contemplative. Certainly that is permissible, and encouraged, actually. Keeping the house quiet for the sake of recollection, following a prayer schedule, etc., is plausable. St. Francis de Sales says that due to the father being out making money to support the family, the mother is the one who should be the most pious for the sake of setting a good example for the children.

The cloistered life is fecund with souls. Right now, that’s a motherhood that is almost more desperately needed than blood/physical/adoption motherhood. It takes the prayer and penance of the cloistered religious to bring down the graces of opening to adoption and proper parenting on those in the world.

If you’re already working with a cloistered monastery, then, by all means, persevere. You will be looking at them, as they will be looking at you, with a view to discerning whether you are really called there. The second link under my signature is my particular ministry within our new congregation (first link). I have been praying for and promoting the cloistered life for over 30 years now. Find a Visitation monastery, and see if you can go on silent retreat there, and see what the cloistered life is like.

Blessings,
Cloisters
http://cloisters.tripod.com/charity/
http://cloisters.tripod.com/
 
Thanks for all the answers, everyone.

I’ve decided not to adopt.

To clarify: 1.) Thisisn’t a real situation I’m in, and 2.) I meant that I would adopt with a male friend, so the kids could have a father. I stated that I would not live with him. He wouldn’t be a biological parent, neither of us would be. We would just legal guardians on paper, but unmarried.
 
Thank you for the clarification. While it sounds noble on paper, to leave a commitment like that until they’ve reached the Age of Majority would be traumatizing to the children. Family Law attorneys would be the next persons to consult, should you change your mind. I’ve never heard of a male and female unmarried adopting children, although I would think it would be possible. States have different laws, though. Please do keep us posted on your journey to the cloister, though!
 
This plan of adoption with a best friend is weird, and honestly will not be permit in many countries.

The two parents would be strangers, and the child would have to go from an house to an house, because of deliberately will (not a break up of the family). He will be raised into two families.

It is not beacuse that it does not include fornication that it becomes automatically fair for the child. We find nothing in Catholic or even in Christian traditions and public actions that support such an idea. We support families built on a married father and mother with biological (or adoptive) children.
 
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