Adoption: Abstinence a must?

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she_he:
Dont adopt as a “form of charity” to me the word “charity” should never be associated with adoption.
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The virtue of charity is an act of love. It is about loving God and loving our neighbor.
“As a virtue, charity is that habit or power which disposes us to love God above all creatures for Himself, and to love ourselves and our neighbours for the sake of God”
newadvent.org/cathen/03592a.htm

If you view charity in this way then I can think of no better word to describe the selfless act of adopting a child who needs a home.
Malia
 
he_she, “charity” is the greatest love, according to Scripture (1 Corninthians 13).

I believe in Latin it translates caritas.

True charity is not throwing the poor orphan a bone via adoption.

True charity is through God, accepting an orphan as one’s own child, and loving that child accordingly.🙂
 
We should start with what your objection to having your own children is. You mentioned helping children without parents, but why does this completely exclude the other? Why can’t you do both?

Scott
 
Scott Waddell:
We should start with what your objection to having your own children is. You mentioned helping children without parents, but why does this completely exclude the other? Why can’t you do both?

Scott
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I don’t have a major objection to having children of my own. I just thought that the adopted children would be jealous of the biological children. I know that it could work out fine. I just really want to know the OFFICIAL church teaching on getting married only to adopt or not have children at all. I know that marriage has to be open to life and procreation, but I don’t know what that exactly means. Does “open” mean that you have to be willing to have children if your spouse wants to have chiildren at some time. Or does it mean that when a man and woman get married they absolutely must agree to have children and continue trying until they have a child?
 
Island Oak:
Interesting choice of screen name given the subject matter of your post–Freudian slip, perhaps?
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LoL—:rotfl:

swimstud,

If you marry, you must be open to life. NFP to delay or space children, must only be used for a grave reason–not simply because you prefer to adopt children. Should God bless you with the gift of conceiving children, that does not exclude adopting.

I give you this advice as an adoptive parent. Although we have infertility problems, we have always remained open to life. To assume that an adoptive child would be jealous of biological children, may indicate that you may not actually be ready to consider adoption. I know many people who have both adopted and biological children, and they all love each other and get along well.
 
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swimstud:
Let me clear a few thing up for everyone. I now understand that I must remain abstinent because contraceptives are not allowed.
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Marriage is ordered towards the procreation of children. If, for a just reason, you must postpone children, then NFP (periodic abstinence) is allowed. You do not have to maintain total abstinence to avoid pregnancy.

HOWEVER, the aversion to having children should be discussed with a spritual director.
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swimstud:
I was thinking of the many children out there that do not have parents, not just the babies but the older children and teens as well.
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It is a very noble and charitable thing to want to bring children into a loving home. And, if you feel called to adopt, then by all means do so. However, it is not a substitute for our call as married persons to procreation. God loves us, and he wants many souls with him in heaven.

I’m still not clear why you don’t want any children and only adopted children.
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swimstud:
If I planed to get married and my future spouse also shares in my desire to adopt without having our own biological children, would this be wrong? I would also be open to having children if my wife later wanted to have children.
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I think you need to talk to a priest or spiritual director about this.
 
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she_he:
Dont adopt as a “form of charity” to me the word “charity” should never be associated with adoption.
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Please see the Catechism.
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she_he:
Charity is something you do to help someone out and feel good about knowing you helped that person out,
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That may be your definition, but it is not the Chruch’s definition. Caritas-- charity-- translates LOVE. As in the Pope’s new Encyclical Deus Caritas Est. So, charity is immitation of Christ.
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she_he:
ADOPTION is about ging a child a home,love,and a life.those are not acts of charity
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Actually, that is exactly what charity is.
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she_he:
to me an adopted child is absolutly no different than a “natural child”
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I never said otherwise.
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she_he:
they are humans,all need heavy amounts of love and care. to assume an adopted child is for “charity” is an absolute insult to every child that has ever been adopted, they are so much more than a charity case…
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Only because you are misusing the term charity in this case. I am refering to Charity as the Church defines it.
 
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1ke:
Please see the Catechism.

That may be your definition, but it is not the Chruch’s definition. Caritas-- charity-- translates LOVE. As in the Pope’s new Encyclical Deus Caritas Est. So, charity is immitation of Christ.
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YES! Please read this fabulous encyclical as is about this very subject.
 
Scott Waddell:
We should start with what your objection to having your own children is. You mentioned helping children without parents, but why does this completely exclude the other? Why can’t you do both?

Scott
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Ok I will admit i am wrong but MY definition of “charity” is much different, I never think of my own children as a charity.but A lot of you have jumped in on my definition to help me out.
But if you dont see the word charity affecting Natural children then it does not apply to adopted children either.as the bible says we are all of the original couple, and therefore are all flesh and blood,
John
 
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1ke:
Please see the Catechism.

That may be your definition, but it is not the Chruch’s definition. Caritas-- charity-- translates LOVE. As in the Pope’s new Encyclical Deus Caritas Est. So, charity is immitation of Christ.

Actually, that is exactly what charity is.

I never said otherwise.

Only because you are misusing the term charity in this case. I am refering to Charity as the Church defines it.
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I have come to relize how you were using it through all the posted replies, My definition is much different, as would be anyone coming to this board whom may be adopted and seeing that.
and even the “churches” use the word charity as I was defining it.
“lets not forgive to donate to the local charities,as they are helping the needy”.

And I will always stand on my principle that adopted or natural child are no different in a household, all are flesh and blood no matter whom is biologically parents…
biblically we are all related as Brothers and sisters,
and thats enough for me…
John
 
Swimstud, you asked what open to life MEANS, well…simply put, it means that every single time you and your wife have relations (sex, if you don’t know ‘relations’) you have to be open to the possibility that your wife may conceive a baby. That’s the best ‘plain English’ explanation: a couple have to be open to life: i.e. accept that each time they have sex they may become parents. So, for Catholics-unless there are very serious reasons such as health-issues or long-term unemployment to name but a few- you’re not supposed to say ‘We’ll NEVER have children of our own’, as Catholics we believe that is in God’s Hands, not ours! And we have to be willing to allow Him to give us that baby, i.e. we have to be open to life when we have sex. I hope that makes it a bit clearer 😉

Anna x
 
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