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lovemyboys
Guest
I have 3 children. I’d like to adopt a set of 3 siblings Would it be morally permissible to use NFP (to avoid) indefinitely if I want to adopt?
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meltoine
Guest
I don’t know if the Church has an official position on this. I would assume not since She doesn’t seem to have any official position on what constitutes a valid reason for abstaining.
That being said, opening your heart and home to these three children is an incredibly generous act of charity and I can see no logical reason why, if you feel your family is complete at 6, abstaining would be wrong.
Of course, you must continually re-evaluate your decision to limit your family size to six. While you may not now have the emotional or financial resources to sustain a family of seven or more, the pious Catholic lifestyle requires that you strive towards the goal of maximum family stability in order to welcome as many children as possible and best care for the ones you have already welcomed. Should the time come when you feel you are emotionally and financially able to welcome another child through birth or adoption the Church would encourage you to do so.
Your peace of mind may also benefit from discussing this with a good and holy priest.
God bless you for being so wonderfully generous with your time, home, and resources.
That being said, opening your heart and home to these three children is an incredibly generous act of charity and I can see no logical reason why, if you feel your family is complete at 6, abstaining would be wrong.
Of course, you must continually re-evaluate your decision to limit your family size to six. While you may not now have the emotional or financial resources to sustain a family of seven or more, the pious Catholic lifestyle requires that you strive towards the goal of maximum family stability in order to welcome as many children as possible and best care for the ones you have already welcomed. Should the time come when you feel you are emotionally and financially able to welcome another child through birth or adoption the Church would encourage you to do so.
Your peace of mind may also benefit from discussing this with a good and holy priest.
God bless you for being so wonderfully generous with your time, home, and resources.
J
jawgee
Guest
I can only give my personal experience.
After many miscarriages and difficult pregnancies, DH and I decided to adopt. Because of the expense of the adoption and the fact that we knew that there was a child in the Korean foster care system waiting for us, we used NFP to delay pregnancy. In my opinion, it would have been a sad thing if a child was stuck in foster care longer because we had an unintended pregnancy that terminated our adoption process.
When our daughter was able to come home, we became more lax about avoiding pregnancy and we conceived another child.
One phrase I don’t hear mentioned so often is “responsible parenthood”. That is what the Couple to Couple League emphasises in NFP-instruction. Would it be responsible to bring a baby into your family while six other children are adapting to changes? That’s something you and your DH can pray about.
After many miscarriages and difficult pregnancies, DH and I decided to adopt. Because of the expense of the adoption and the fact that we knew that there was a child in the Korean foster care system waiting for us, we used NFP to delay pregnancy. In my opinion, it would have been a sad thing if a child was stuck in foster care longer because we had an unintended pregnancy that terminated our adoption process.
When our daughter was able to come home, we became more lax about avoiding pregnancy and we conceived another child.
One phrase I don’t hear mentioned so often is “responsible parenthood”. That is what the Couple to Couple League emphasises in NFP-instruction. Would it be responsible to bring a baby into your family while six other children are adapting to changes? That’s something you and your DH can pray about.
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Sierrah
Guest
Probably but it’s an interest question.
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lovemyboys
Guest
Good, thought-provoking responses… thanks.
There always seems to be a big dividing line between Catholics who emphasize the part of Church teaching that promotes as many children as you can possibly sustain versus those who emphasize responsible parenthood. Throw in adoption, and it’s a really complicated question. Probably a good question for a priest…
There always seems to be a big dividing line between Catholics who emphasize the part of Church teaching that promotes as many children as you can possibly sustain versus those who emphasize responsible parenthood. Throw in adoption, and it’s a really complicated question. Probably a good question for a priest…
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Rascalking
Guest
I am adopted myself, as is my sister. We are both from different sets of parents.
Please, please, please think long and hard about this. I’ve seen “Mixed” families (both adopted and biological) and it sometimes doesn’t work out for the best. It can be difficult for everyone involved.
Please, please, please think long and hard about this. I’ve seen “Mixed” families (both adopted and biological) and it sometimes doesn’t work out for the best. It can be difficult for everyone involved.
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Seatuck
Guest
As long as you are open to the posibility of God calling you to conceive at any given time. If you mean can I decide six kids and I’m done then no . You have to assess your resources and God’s plan from time to time. Prayerfully. It may turn out to be indefinitely after all but you won’t know that up front.
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lovemyboys
Guest
Thanks for sharing this. Most people are all positive about adoption,but you obviously know from experience that it can be hard…
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lovemyboys
Guest
I like the way you put this. Thanks for giving more to think about.
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crazzeto
Guest
The Catholic Church teaches that the regulation of Births is a good, thus there must be an acceptable means by which this can be done. For the time being my position on NFP is that it must be permissable in this context, otherwise what means is there to regulate births short of outright abstiance. And then more over, using the “NPF should only be used in grave circomstances” logic, then one must wonder, what is the difference then between NFP and outright abstiance? Or even a more curde rythem method? I have to imagine then that they might argue that even outright abstiance should only be used for grave reasons.
But then, the regulation of births wouldn’t be a good as stated in the CCC would it be?
Should be noted this is just my logic, I would talk to a priest.
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Rascalking
Guest
Even in the best of circumstances (which mine was, I’m the luckiest guy in the world) it can be difficult for the child, yes.
Again though, God bless you for what you are thinking.
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Alexander_Smith
Guest
It’s permissible using allowed methods. It’s best not to simplify it.The Catholic Church teaches that the regulation of Births is a good, thus there must be an acceptable means by which this can be done. For the time being my position on NFP is that it must be permissable in this context, otherwise what means is there to regulate births short of outright abstiance. And then more over, using the “NPF should only be used in grave circomstances” logic, then one must wonder, what is the difference then between NFP and outright abstiance? Or even a more curde rythem method? I have to imagine then that they might argue that even outright abstiance should only be used for grave reasons.
But then, the regulation of births wouldn’t be a good as stated in the CCC would it be?
Should be noted this is just my logic, I would talk to a priest.
CCC said:
Which is more important? To have more children of your own, or to adopt other children?
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