Adoption by Homosexual Couple

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xformer7

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Looking for help to articulate an answer to a question I was asked and did not answer well. Any help appreciated:

My next door neighbors are a same sex couple who have adopted children from “horrible conditions” in China. Would they have been better off remaining in the Chinese system until adulthood?
 
xformer7 said:
Looking for help to articulate an answer to a question I was asked and did not answer well. Any help appreciated:

My next door neighbors are a same sex couple who have adopted children from “horrible conditions” in China. Would they have been better off remaining in the Chinese system until adulthood?
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Well, I know a few SS couples who have adopted children from China and saved them from ‘horrible conditions’ and no, I don’t think they would have been better off remaining in the Chinese system until adulthood.
 
xformer7 said:
My next door neighbors are a same sex couple who have adopted children from “horrible conditions” in China. Would they have been better off remaining in the Chinese system until adulthood?
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sigh I’m probably going to get flak for this, but I only come here on the weekends per a ny resolution, so I won’t see anything after tomorrow. 😛

Based on what one can imagine “horrible conditions” in China to be, probably not. It’s one thing to say that in theory, same sex couples shouldn’t be raise children. It’s different, however, to say that in a real circumstance in which a child living in “horrible conditions” could live in a land of opportunity, receiving rudamentary necessities with a same sex couple that the ideal would be for the child to remain in “horrible conditions”.

(Just an afterthought) Another thing to consider is that there are plenty of single people who adopt. It’s one thing to say that a same sex couple’s lifestyle may be damaging/confusing to the child. Granted that singles can’t provide the benefit of both parents (or even the potential of two incomes for the sake of providing), I think they should also be theoretically “barred” from adopting on the same principle.

So…your answer. This is how I would handle it: If they don’t engage me, I would seriously just keep to myself until I had asked the advice of someone else so that I could have the chance to discern what I should say. If I did decide to talk to them about it without being engaged, I would trust in the validity of my comments since no one asked me to make them. I wouldn’t ask for advice after the fact either. If, on the other hand, I were engaged and I were given the chance to say something, I would maintain a polite, neutral stance until I had asked for guidance/counsel/advice and then say something at the next opportunity. Thinking before we speak/think is something I feel has gone out of style. If you’ve given an answer, you’ve given it.

God bless,

Rob
 
xformer7 said:
Looking for help to articulate an answer to a question I was asked and did not answer well. Any help appreciated:

My next door neighbors are a same sex couple who have adopted children from “horrible conditions” in China. Would they have been better off remaining in the Chinese system until adulthood?
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From what I’ve heard about it, not really.
 
If the children are loved, then they are better off than if they were not loved.
 
xformer7 said:
Looking for help to articulate an answer to a question I was asked and did not answer well. Any help appreciated:

My next door neighbors are a same sex couple who have adopted children from “horrible conditions” in China. Would they have been better off remaining in the Chinese system until adulthood?
Click to expand...
They are almost certainly better off with the couple, but there are no exceptions to the rule,
 
xformer7 said:
Looking for help to articulate an answer to a question I was asked and did not answer well. Any help appreciated:

My next door neighbors are a same sex couple who have adopted children from “horrible conditions” in China. Would they have been better off remaining in the Chinese system until adulthood?
Click to expand...
Children are never better off being adopted by homosexuals.
 
xformer7 said:
Help me understand why this is so?
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The child is being placed into an immoral environment. No child should ever be deliberately subjected to this.The child will be brought up being taught that homosexuality is acceptable which of course it is not. It is gravely disordered and mortally sinful.

I also forgot to mention the Church is against it.
 
Would they be better off materially yes? The question is will they be better off spiritually? Likely not. Would it be better that they suffer in China? No. How many same sex couples are out there though that would gladly adopt a child, couples who likely understand church teaching and would teach the child the ‘way’, that did not get a chance because of monetary reasons to adopt this same child?

I guess it boils down to, which is more important? Their physical needs now? Or their spiritual needs later? I think both are important, but one is likely more important than the other.
 
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      This is a difficult question, where each situation is different.  Yeah being is an orphanage that is run under less than humane and loving conditions would be horrible experience.  However, if the caregivers are nice people and the rest of the children play with each other and bullying is minimal, it is not the optimal but certainly not a hell hole.
    In terms of homosexual adoption, the magisterium has stated that this does violence to a child and Catholic adoption agencies in good standing will close their doors rather than permit this type of adoptions. We recently saw in the news that a Lesbian partnership did not declare the sex of a child for over 5 years. Dressing a little boy mostly in feminine clothes, because this couple believes that you declare your own gender. There are likely instances where homosexuals in a manner bring up these children even better than with a traditional Father and Mother; I will not argue against this. I will venture that first is more likely outcome, and that the homosexual couple are more than likely to encourage their children to be really open to their lifestyle.

    I am a Catholic Christian, faithful that believes that the authentic official magisterium leads in truth guided by the Holy Spirit in faith and morals and in its interpretation of the Holy Scriptures. If the Church’s official position is wrong on this matter, then the whole church is wrong and should be abandoned. There is no middle ground on this, we can choose it but it is a disingenuous position. How do we engage a situation like this, Corpus Christi had a very good answer. Thinking first and being charitable, as Christians we also must be true to what we profess.
 
What about a heterosexual couple who have an “open marriage” and really live an immoral life?

How about we, as a society, do a better job of taking care of children, here and abroad? How about we do a better job of “advertising” adoption? What we need are more loving couples willing to be parents of these kids.
 
I know a gay couple (2 dads; white guys).

They adopted a black baby girl who was removed from bioparents after the biomom & biodad (unmarried) were found stoned in a bar at 2 am in December…and 18 month old baby girl – who had drugs in her system – was with them, wearing only a diaper.

They adopted her…and later adopted the baby girl’s infant sister, from the same bioparents.

The missing human element in the whole “gay adoption thing” is that gay parents often adopt the children no one else wants. I’ve seen newspaper ads by the hypthetical Jane & John Whitebread, offering to adopt someone else’s white baby.
There are a lot of kids who are unloved and unwanted. If 2 dads want them & will love them – who are we to argue?

There are always some (judmental? blind? unreasoing?) types, who say such adotions are always immoral. The problem there is that there are just so many unloved kids out there, and it is insane to declare that 100% of gay couples are always unfit to be parents merely because they are gay. There are kind, well-intentioned, loving gays, and there are unkind, self-centered ones.
 
xformer7 said:
Looking for help to articulate an answer to a question I was asked and did not answer well. Any help appreciated:

My next door neighbors are a same sex couple who have adopted children from “horrible conditions” in China. Would they have been better off remaining in the Chinese system until adulthood?
Click to expand...
They would be better off being adopted by a loving heterosexaul couple. From the standpoint of protecting their immortal soul they have now been put in extreme spiritual peril.
 
VonDerTann said:
…and before anyone gives me flack over the foregoing, please: post and let us all know how many drugged-up babies, of a race not your own, you’ve adopted. When you get to “two,” we’ll take notice.
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And how many do you have aopted?
 
This is kind of like the deficit debate going on in the U.S right now. Everyone wants to tax the rich to get rid of our deficit, the only problem being even taxing them 100% would be like a drop in the ocean. That is what homosexual adoption is like. Allowing homosexual’s to adopt as the solution to all the kids who need families is like a drop in the ocean. Sure you can come up will all sorts of gut wrenching emotional arguments but logically they make no sense. I’d also point to the actual reality of what is occurring in practice.
According to a report by the Williams Institute, in 2007 there were 270,000 children in the United States who lived with same-sex couples. Of these, one-quarter, or 65,000, were adopted.
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Only 25% of homosexual couples who have kids in the U.S have adopted. The others either have kids from a past heterosexual marriage or have taken steps to get pregnant artificially and knowingly choose to separate their child from their biological father from birth. In other words its is very likely homosexual couples are creating just as many children that are missing a parent/s, as they are adopting ones already out there.

I’d also add that promoting homosexual adoption as the solution to the problem works to ignore the true cause of the problem in the first place.
In 1964, fewer than 10 percent of babies were born to single mothers. Today that number is above 40 percent for the overall population and even higher among Hispanics and African Americans (50 and 70 percent, respectively).
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Why don’t we concentrate on the real problem instead of attempting to tug heartstrings with a purely emotional argument that homosexual couples are needed to adopt?
 
bmullins said:
Would they be better off materially yes? The question is will they be better off spiritually? Likely not. Would it be better that they suffer in China? No. How many same sex couples are out there though that would gladly adopt a child, couples who likely understand church teaching and would teach the child the ‘way’, that did not get a chance because of monetary reasons to adopt this same child?

I guess it boils down to, which is more important? Their physical needs now? Or their spiritual needs later? I think both are important, but one is likely more important than the other.
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I disagree with the bolded statement and I will explain why.

How will a child who already lives in “horrible conditions” while in a Godless (meant in the most accurate and charitable sense), communisitc, even atheistic country whose culture is rife with the ravages of immorality be better off than with a homosexual couple while in the pinnacle of the free world? Even if the child does grow up to adulthood having been raised by this same couple, there is the very likely chance that they will be exposed not only to the notion that what their parents are doing is not morally sound, but also that Jesus is Lord, that one should join his Church, etc. That can’t happen as easily in China. It’s one thing to say that the child who is adopted by a homosexual couple in a free country will be presented with a morally compromising and scandalous circumstance. It’s completely different to say that this circumstance is obectively better than the child remaining in China where we don’t even KNOW how they’re being treated or by whom in, let us not forget, “horrible conditions” where they have the opportunity to receive absolutely zero spiritual benefit. Just something to take into consideration.

God bless,

Rob
 
VonDerTann said:
Estesbob, I asked first! 🙂
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None-although i did counsel for 5 years at a CPC and was blessed to have many of of those who counseled place their child for adoption-always with a loving heterosexuual couple. But then i am not the one who is claiming that only those who have adopted drugged up babies of race not their own can comment on this issue.
 
Lets see who can answer this question: What percentage of parent-less children are in orphanages in the United States and what percentage of those children are in foster homes with loving families to take care of them in the U.S?
 
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