Adoption by Homosexual Persons

[Catholic13]

The main problem[imo] in gays adopting children is it teaches the children that homosexuality* is ok. Which is the opposite of the truth.

You can’t teach children that homosexuality is ok.*

 

[Peter_J]

I have two points, Mary, about something you said here regarding any person who grew up in an opposite-sex, two-parent home. First, probably not everyone would agree, particularly if the home was not a loving but an abusive one. Second and more importantly, of course almost everyone who GREW UP this way would not want it to be different. A same-sex parent arrangement is foreign to them and may seem strange. Further, if they grew up in a loving home, why would anyone want the family structure to be different?

Concerning the research, preliminary evidence suggests that a loving home is more important than whether the parents are opposite- or same-sex. The older research still stands, however, for the most part, in that if a home is deprived of a second parent, by means of divorce for example but also the death of one parent, that has repercussions on the child’s future development. It is also the case that two genders do help the child in their development, so same-sex parents are NOT the ideal, but neither are they detrimental. In reality, one might ask, are there any parents who raise their children in an “ideal” way? Parents make all sorts of mistakes but their children, for the most part, turn out fine.

If one is morally opposed to this type of child-rearing, that is another issue. Insofar as Catholic agencies’ favoring only opposite-sex adoption, that is their moral and religious right. They should not be forced by the State to do otherwise.

It’s not that gay couples cannot be good parents, but that all things being equal a mother and father are preferable.

 

[Peter_J]

I was just thinking about the old “You don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent” slogan.

 

[SuperLuigi]

A homosexual couple might choose life by adopting an innocent child who was not aborted or provide a child a life beyond life in an orphanage.

So then you agree abortion is a bad thing and should not happen?

 

[SuperLuigi]

I was just thinking about the old “You don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent” slogan.

We’re not talking about a dad doing the daughter’s hair wrong. We are talking about a key biological and psychological concept that many in society (including too many in the Catholic Church) downplay, disregard and attack for their own selfish reasons.

 

[Viki63]

Here is an article by a man raised by two lesbians, who regrets missing out on learning how to be male. He has had a very hard time in life.

"Even now, I have very few friends and often feel as though I do not understand people because of the unspoken gender cues that everyone around me, even gays raised in traditional homes, takes for granted. "

I raised my two oldest as a single mother, but they both managed to grow up with some male role models – scout leaders, teachers, other kids’ dads, even their dad’s occasional visits. I think the outcome might have been very different for them if I had been in a lesbian relationship, giving them that model.

.

 

[MaryT777]

Here is an article by a man raised by two lesbians, who regrets missing out on learning how to be male. He has had a very hard time in life.

"Even now, I have very few friends and often feel as though I do not understand people because of the unspoken gender cues that everyone around me, even gays raised in traditional homes, takes for granted. "

I raised my two oldest as a single mother, but they both managed to grow up with some male role models – scout leaders, teachers, other kids’ dads, even their dad’s occasional visits. I think the outcome might have been very different for them if I had been in a lesbian relationship, giving them that model.

.

Thanks for the link. I have read several times that those with negative experiences they want to share about being raised by a homosexual couple can’t find an outlet to even publish widely such experiences. They are then outcast from the homosexual community as “not the norm” or personally attacked.

How anyone can possibly think being raised by a same sex couple could be beneficial in ANY way to any child is beyond me. One guy had an article stating he was immersed in a totally gay culture with his “two Dads.” They spent all of their social times with other gay couples, or gay people and he never fit in their lifestyle whatsoever.

Then he wondered about his mother who happened to be a one night stand with one of the guys for the soul purpose of procreation according to him, and they had no clue who she was or where she was. This is not what God had In mind whatsoever.

Children were meant to be raised by two parents that can produce children because God designed their anatomy to do so and they can provide the male/female role models so crucial to a child’s development.

“Children are always the only future the human race has; teach them well”

Mary.

 

[MaryT777]

Be careful about denying adoption rights to entire classes of people. We wouldn’t want Catholic couples losing the right to adopt just because someone regrets being raised Catholic.

Apples to oranges.

 

[Thorolfr]

 

[St_Francis]

I was just thinking about the old “You don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent” slogan.

However, with whom a child is placed is a completely different matter. I don’t think a child should ipso facto be taken from a biological parent because the parent is homosexual; however, should those who are responsible for a child’s future place that child in a much less than ideal situation?

Some have brought up the issue of divorced or widowed parents. The difference is that a parent is *missing *in those situations. In the case of a SS couple, there are two parents, but still no opposite-sex parent. You can’t replace a father with another mother, and you can’t replace a mother with another father. It is not the fact of two parents, but the fact of a *complimentary *pair which works best for children.

I remember in the 1970s when divorce took off. Studies came out showing the children were doing fine. And those studies were similar to the kinds we have now: educated (mostly) women telling psych students that their children were cery happy.

And in college, the children themselves said they were fine.

But when that first wave of children started hitting their 30s and 40s, it all came out: they had much more trouble trusting people, maintaining long-term relationships, were more likely to have problems with substance abuse, etc.

A child’s life is not something to experiment with like this. We have absolutely no right to place children in an experimental situation for no reason other than adults want it that way. We should not place the *desires *of the adults over the *needs *of the child.

 

[Otar_Mendes]

• SS couples do not live in vacuum where there are no males or females.
• Nature seems to think it works out pretty OK considering other animals forming SS couples and raising their “children” together.
• I bet what these children would suffer from the most is anti-gay and anti-SS marriage\civil unions propaganda and bullying by other children who are taught “traditional values” than the fact they got 2 mommies.

We have absolutely no right to place children in an experimental situation for no reason other than adults want it that way

So, what do you propose exactly?

Ban adoptions by homosexuals? If we ban this we essentially say that homosexuals shouldn’t be allowed to raise children coz otherwise it doesn’t make sense. =>

Ban reproductive technologies for homosexuals? OK .==>

What if they make it the old-school way? After all its pretty easy to deliver sperm into a vagina without using any complex methods. => A child is born. What then?

1. How should authorities punish these criminals for breaking a law?
2. What about the child? Should authorities take this child away if he\she lives with 2 mommies? Should the second parent be allowed to “adopt” this child? If not what happens when her\his biological mother dies and there are no relatives except for her\his mother’s partner and it’s impossible to find his\her biological father or he simply doesn’t care and just donated sperm?

Do tell. I’m just trying to understand into what depths of evil your logic would lead us to law-wise.

In short, how do you want to regulate homosexuals+children situation.

 

[St_Francis]

• SS couples do not live in vacuum where there are no males or females.
• Nature seems to think it works out pretty OK considering other animals forming SS couples and raising their “children” together.
• I bet what these children would suffer from the most is anti-gay and anti-SS marriage\civil unions propaganda and bullying by other children who are taught “traditional values” than the fact they got 2 mommies.

So, what do you propose exactly?

Ban adoptions by homosexuals? If we ban this we essentially say that homosexuals shouldn’t be allowed to raise children coz otherwise it doesn’t make sense. =>

Ban reproductive technologies for homosexuals? OK .==>

What if they make it the old-school way? After all its pretty easy to deliver sperm into a vagina without using any complex methods. => A child is born. What then?

1. How should authorities punish these criminals for breaking a law?
2. What about the child? Should authorities take this child away if he\she lives with 2 mommies? Should the second parent be allowed to “adopt” this child? If not what happens when her\his biological mother dies and there are no relatives except for her\his mother’s partner and it’s impossible to find his\her biological father or he simply doesn’t care and just donated sperm?

Do tell. I’m just trying to understand into what depths of evil your logic would lead us to law-wise.

In short, how do you want to regulate homosexuals+children situation.

Wow, despite my saying I don’t think homosexuals shoudd have their children removed simply because the parent is homosexual, I get this whole diatribe.

What I suggest is that children who are being placed for adoption not be placed with homosexual couples. Given that this is the US (where I am), I imagine the most we could hope for is that agencies be permitted to refuse to place children with homosexual couples.

And if you had actually read the links I posted, you would see that the now-adult children of homosexuals complained about the things which I mentioned, not the things you mentioned, altho these have been *one *factor in other descriptions of what these children are affected by.

 

[mikekle]

If the church is so steadfast against this, why do they not speak up more when cities have these ‘pride parades’ and pride festivals? Cincinnati just had a HUGE pride festival last weekend in the downtown metro area, I heard about it and saw pictures from the people I know that went, there were no protesters, the main church (St Peter in chains) was totally silent, not a single word from them…??

 

[Thorolfr]

And if you had actually read the links I posted, you would see that the now-adult children of homosexuals complained about the things which I mentioned, not the things you mentioned, altho these have been *one *factor in other descriptions of what these children are affected by.

Anecdotal accounts of how a few adults felt about being raised by a gay couple is not very convincing evidence for how this effects most such children. A real scientific study involving a lot more such children would be needed before any valid conclusions could be reached about this issue.

 

[St_Francis]

Anecdotal accounts of how a few adults felt about being raised by a gay couple is not very convincing evidence for how this effects most such children. A real scientific study involving a lot more such children would be needed before any valid conclusions could be reached about this issue.

Yes, but so far, the population of children raised by homosexual couples is still very small, and it will be a long time before a long-term study can be done. Until then, we see that being raised by a homosexual couple is not necessarily perfectly equivalent to being raised by a heterosexual couple, which we could have figured out just by noticing the differences between men and women, and of their parenting styles.

We should not be placing children for whom we are responsible into a situation about which so little is known, and about which we can gather so little information.

 

[Peter_J]

Be careful about denying adoption rights to entire classes of people. We wouldn’t want Catholic couples losing the right to adopt just because someone regrets being raised Catholic.

Well, I think that the Church is careful, very careful in fact, about making such decisions.

 

[Peter_J]

• I bet what these children would suffer from the most is anti-gay and anti-SS marriage\civil unions propaganda and bullying by other children who are taught “traditional values” than the fact they got 2 mommies
  .

Is bullying a traditional value?

 

[reggieM]

If the church is so steadfast against this, why do they not speak up more when cities have these ‘pride parades’ and pride festivals? Cincinnati just had a HUGE pride festival last weekend in the downtown metro area, I heard about it and saw pictures from the people I know that went, there were no protesters, the main church (St Peter in chains) was totally silent, not a single word from them…??

It’s a good question and there are several reasons. None are good reasons, in my opinion. But it’s not “if the church is so steadfast against …” The teaching is clear and opposed. So, why don’t our priests and bishops actually have the courage to say something about what they believe to be true?
Well, even the great prophet Jonah didn’t want to preach the word when commanded to. He ran in the other direction. Abraham was hoping there were ten good men in Sodom so that the Lord wouldn’t destroy it - but no such luck. Abraham certainly wasn’t going to protest what was going on there.
And I hate to say it, but here it goes …
You know the Pride Parade will come around next year, right?
You’re one good man. Why not organize a protest yourself among parishioners – or reach out to other parishes? Contact the Knights of Columbus? What is needed in cases like this is leadership.

 

[Thorolfr]

It’s a good question and there are several reasons. None are good reasons, in my opinion. But it’s not “if the church is so steadfast against …” The teaching is clear and opposed. So, why don’t our priests and bishops actually have the courage to say something about what they believe to be true?
Well, even the great prophet Jonah didn’t want to preach the word when commanded to. He ran in the other direction. Abraham was hoping there were ten good men in Sodom so that the Lord wouldn’t destroy it - but no such luck. Abraham certainly wasn’t going to protest what was going on there.
And I hate to say it, but here it goes …
You know the Pride Parade will come around next year, right?
You’re one good man. Why not organize a protest yourself among parishioners – or reach out to other parishes? Contact the Knights of Columbus? What is needed in cases like this is leadership.

Do you think that Gay Pride parades shouldn’t be allowed? Wouldn’t such parades be protected under freedom of speech and freedom of assembly in the US constitution?

 

[Peter_J]

It’s a good question and there are several reasons. None are good reasons, in my opinion. But it’s not “if the church is so steadfast against …” The teaching is clear and opposed. So, why don’t our priests and bishops actually have the courage to say something about what they believe to be true?
Well, even the great prophet Jonah didn’t want to preach the word when commanded to. He ran in the other direction. Abraham was hoping there were ten good men in Sodom so that the Lord wouldn’t destroy it - but no such luck.

I think a good portion of the discussions here are based on the idea that in order to be a good Catholic one needs to be a traditionalist.