Adoption: Our Story

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COGHOBDOJ

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From 2000 to 2006 my wife and I battled infertility. When our fertility specialist advised IVF, we felt this was not our path, we had no peace about it.

We decided to adopt a little girl from China. We went through the process using America World Adoption Agency. We received our little girl on our 13th wedding anniversary.

We shared/journaled our experience on a web blog. Feel free to visit our ADOPTION BLOG.

Looking forward to hearing about your adoption experiences or answering any question for those interested in adoption.
 
Thank you for posting your blog. My husband and I are still in the TTC mode. We are also looking toward adoption. I have been reading another adoption blog by a couple that recently adopted from Kazakhstan.
 
Can I ask, I dont mean to come across as rude, but are there no babies/children here in the USA to adopt? :confused:
 
😃 I love a good adoption story! We adopted our daughter domestically 2 1/2 yrs ago. We hope to adopt again in a few years if finances allow. :heaven: :love:
wifeandmomoftwo said:
Can I ask, I dont mean to come across as rude, but are there no babies/children here in the USA to adopt? :confused:
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Yes, there are! We found a LOT of infants when we were in the process of adopting, but not everyone wants to go that route. For us, it was much cheaper and easier to adopt domestically than internationally. We did consider int’l, but couldn’t afford it. Personally, I am glad there are people who are able to adopt those children too! 😃
 
Teakafrog said:
😃 I love a good adoption story! We adopted our daughter domestically 2 1/2 yrs ago. We hope to adopt again in a few years if finances allow. :heaven: :love:

Yes, there are! We found a LOT of infants when we were in the process of adopting, but not everyone wants to go that route. For us, it was much cheaper and easier to adopt domestically than internationally. We did consider int’l, but couldn’t afford it. Personally, I am glad there are people who are able to adopt those children too! 😃
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OP - thanks for sharing.

My DH and I are praying about adopting, but we want to adopt here in the US.

Teakafrog…tell me…where do I start?
 
wifeandmomoftwo said:
Can I ask, I dont mean to come across as rude, but are there no babies/children here in the USA to adopt? :confused:
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There are, there are plenty, however people want babies/toddlers and there is not a whole lot of them and the waiting list for babies/toddlers is VERY, VERY long.

I have been there and done that.

However, my two adopted kids came to me in foster care and they were 8 and 18 months old. They were at first just in foster care.

However the bio mom and dad never got thier stuff together and lost their rights. My kids were in my home over a year, which ment that they were not allowed on the “list” because in Michigan if foster children are in your home over 1 year and their parents rights are terminated then the foster parents have the 1st right to adopt.

It is not that people don’t want to adopt here, but the red tape here is much more than adopting over seas. I know I found that hard to believe as well.

There are plenty of middle aged children, but people want babies/toddlers, so the waiting list are long and we American’s don’t want to wait for anything.
 
Teakafrog said:
:Personally, I am glad there are people who are able to adopt those children too! 😃
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Never said I wasnt glad either, I was just curious as to why there are so many more international adoptions versus domestic ones is all:shrug:
 
ljprevo said:
There are plenty of middle aged children, but people want babies/toddlers, so the waiting list are long and we American’s don’t want to wait for anything.
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I’m not sure waiting is the only issue in not adopting older children. I’m not sure I’d be capable of dealing with the issues an older child might have. --KCT
 
KCT said:
I’m not sure waiting is the only issue in not adopting older children. I’m not sure I’d be capable of dealing with the issues an older child might have. --KCT
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That is the other issue, not that ALL middle aged children have behavior issue, however a majority do.

Adopting a child is not a “TEST” run as it can be in foster care. However in foster care you could go through a lot of grief with a behavior issue child. A couple who I used to know got a run of problem children, one stealing their vehicle and totaling it, to another beating up the foster mom where the dad had to get in and pin the child down forcefully and call the police to have the child arrested.
 
DJgang said:
OP - thanks for sharing.

My DH and I are praying about adopting, but we want to adopt here in the US.

Teakafrog…tell me…where do I start?
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With INFORMATION! You need to read everything you can get your hands on about adoption. There are so many different types of adoption, and each has different requirements, along with each state’s different regulations. So if you are even considering it, start now to educate yourself on the options.
Then when you know about the options, you and your family can decide how to further pursue the type of adoption that will be right for your family.
ljprevo said:
There are, there are plenty, however people want babies/toddlers and there is not a whole lot of them and the waiting list for babies/toddlers is VERY, VERY long.
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NOT TRUE. The only time the waiting list is long is if you insist on a caucasian child with absolutely complete history. If you are open to a child of a different race, or one where absolutely everything is not known (such as the health of the birthfather), then the wait can be very short.
We started paperwork around New Years, and had our baby in our arms by the first of June. Less time than a pregnancy. There are a lot of newborns out there, healthy, non-drug-exposed ones at that. But they are not white. That is why people say it takes so long :rolleyes: .
We got calls on literally 10 different children in that 5 month period of time. Obviously they all didn’t work out for some reason–either the birthmom changed her mind (BEFORE the child was born, but after contacting an agency), or she chose a different couple to parent the child. But those babies ARE out there!
As for the red tape excuse, I don’t buy that. Any adoption requires a homestudy. Ours took about 2 weeks. Just a lot of paper shuffling. The actual adoption was finalized within 3 months, irrevocably. The only hitch we had was from her birth state getting their end of the paperwork done quickly enough to suit us, otherwise it would have finalized faster. Frankly, all the INS paperwork for an int’l adoption is a lot harder to complete than anything in the US.
 
Teakafrog said:
Obviously they all didn’t work out for some reason–either the birthmom changed her mind (BEFORE the child was born, but after contacting an agency), or she chose a different couple to parent the child.
.
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Truly, this is one of the greatest reasons people choose to adopt overseas. We have adopted both domestically and internationally. I think international adoptions have more red tape, but I think the risk of a failed adoption is higher for domestic. One thing that has always hurt my feelings is when someone asks me why I adopted a “foreign” child when there are SO MANY kids here to adopt. Who cares where the children come from??? My goodness. If a child needs a home, and a couple wants to provide one, the place of origin is of no matter. I’m sure we’re like many adoptive parents. When we decided on adoption it was after suffering for years trying to conceive. We wanted a child. We initially went the path of least resistance, which at the time was international. As I said above, we went through false hope and failed adoptions on the domestic front first. Once we had our first child, we were ready to tackle the domestic side of things again, and found ourselves blessed quite quickly. I think that God lead us to our “foreign” children, as much as he lead us to the one right here in our “back yard”. To the OP: Congrats! Adopting our children has been the greatest gift we’ve ever received.
 
ljprevo said:
That is the other issue, not that ALL middle aged children have behavior issue, however a majority do.
.
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I wasn’t thinking bevahioral issues so much as psychological. Attachment, abandonment sorts of things. —KCT
 
wifeandmomoftwo said:
Can I ask, I dont mean to come across as rude, but are there no babies/children here in the USA to adopt? :confused:
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I don’t find that rude at all. Actually, its a very good question. Many people are called to do many different things for The Kingdom of God. But, we heard clearly from God that this was our path.

In China, they are still not free to practice Christianity without government pressure. So, China, being one of the greatest populated nations needing to hear the Gospel, we thought it was God’s will that we ransom an orphan from there.

Our hope is that we will equip our daughter with God’s Spirit and God’s Word to be able to have the heart to go back to her home land and reach the lost in China with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

She will have much better credibility with her native people than we would or any American would have.

Thanks for the opportunity to share.
 
wifeandmomoftwo said:
Never said I wasnt glad either, I was just curious as to why there are so many more international adoptions versus domestic ones is all:shrug:
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Are you sure the international adoptions outnumber the domestic adoptions as much as you think?
 
COGHOBDOJ said:
I don’t find that rude at all. Actually, its a very good question. Many people are called to do many different things for The Kingdom of God. But, we heard clearly from God that this was our path.

In China, they are still not free to practice Christianity without government pressure. So, China, being one of the greatest populated nations needing to hear the Gospel, we thought it was God’s will that we ransom an orphan from there.

Our hope is that we will equip our daughter with God’s Spirit and God’s Word to be able to have the heart to go back to her home land and reach the lost in China with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

She will have much better credibility with her native people than we would or any American would have.

Thanks for the opportunity to share.
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Thank you.
It was an honest question, something I have always wondered about, and I thank you for providing me with insight as to “why”.
 
COGHOBDOJ said:
Are you sure the international adoptions outnumber the domestic adoptions as much as you think?
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I dont know honestly.
I always hear about international adoptions and rarely hear about domestic ones.
 
Giannawannabe said:
Truly, this is one of the greatest reasons people choose to adopt overseas. We have adopted both domestically and internationally. I think international adoptions have more red tape, but I think the risk of a failed adoption is higher for domestic…
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Well, what I was talking about was not a failed adoption. The children were never placed with us, it was just a referral that there was a baby available. The ACTUAL number of failed adoptions (not all the horror stories you hear that aren’t even true) is very very low. If you make sure everything is done legally from the beginning, there is no way a child who has been placed with you can be taken. Most states have very strict laws on how long a birthmom has to change her mind, and once it is finalized, it really is final. They can NOT come back years later and take the child, as long as it was done exactly by the book from the beginning. That is why I would advise anyone to use an adoption specialized lawyer. Not all lawyers have the first clue about adoption, but if you get a specialist, it is worth it, because they will make SURE that it is done correctly.
 
wifeandmomoftwo said:
I dont know honestly.
I always hear about international adoptions and rarely hear about domestic ones.
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According to www.childwelfare.gov, taking an average of all the adoptions completed in the USA over the last 10 years, international adoption or intercountry adoption fluctuated between 5%-15%.

International adoption is a minority.
 
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